Embryo Transfer!!!

This could be one of my favorite posts to date! All about our embryo transfer!!!

After the egg retrieval I got updates, or "fert reports" daily (excluding Sunday). We went from 21 eggs to 19 that were mature... Of those 19, 10 fertilized normally and became embryos!! On Saturday Dr H called to tell me that of those 10, they were ALL growing well but EIGHT of them were "VERY good quality." Eight?! EIGHT!!!! That's fabulous and more than I was expecting to get such a high remark. Since we had so many that were in such great shape and there were no clear front runners, we were a go for a 5 day transfer! just what I wanted!!!
I got no update Sunday.
And Monday I got the call from Connie to set up the transfer time. I got all of the instructions and then asked about our embryos...
"So, how do they look today?"
"Well we don't get reports on day 4, because they were in a transitional stage so they can't be rated at that point... But as of yesterday they are all FABULOUS. Like, really REALLY great. You make some awesome embryos!!" Ahhh!!!! YEA!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOSH!!!!!
"Yeah, I try..."
Connie and I chatted a bit about how every thing that comes out of her mouth ends up coming true, so I told her to please talk more about great things for us! Ha!


Yesterday was the day of the 5 day transfer! I was so super excited!! I took it easy during the day and tried not to stress. Focusing on having the best possible environment for the embryo(s). Staying stress free is really important from this point on. It's better for the body anyway, but super important for this stage of my cycle....

Heading in to the day, we had gone back and forth on how many we wanted to transfer. One? Two? One??? Two??? Danny left the decision up to me, since it's my body that would be carrying them. I told him I wanted two. He said that's fine. So, I knew he was okay with two. But I wasn't going to make the FINAL decision until we were at the transfer and hearing exactly how those embryos were doing, I just had to know he really was okay with whatever I decided.

Danny and I drove down, eating on the way... and arrived with just a few minutes to spare. I checked in, noticing that the waiting room was completely empty. Connie came out and got us shortly after we arrived. She and I were hangin' crap on Danny as we walked in the back and it really cracked up another of my favorite ladies there. She peeked her head around the corner, waved, and wished us good luck.
We were taken back to the room where the actual egg retrieval was. It's a big sterile room, with so many machines that I wouldn't even begin to understand... And two relaxing beachy pictures on the wall.
Danny got set up in his chair, which he proceeded to WHEEL AROUND THE ENTIRE ROOM looking at anything and everything. Thank goodness he kept his hands to himself!

I got ready and Connie came in to check my bladder.
"So I don't want to steal Dr H's thunder... but... Okay yes I do. Your embryos are SO FANTASTIC!! They really couldn't be more perfect!! Seriously!!" Ohhhhh YEA!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you God!!!
"Really? You're not just saying that???"
"No. If they weren't like this I would just keep quiet and let Dr H let you know how they are. These are fabulous!" Eeeeeek!!! Go embies go!!!!!
She checked my bladder and it was full but hadn't expanded quite enough to tilt my uterus quite enough. She figured it would be expanded by the time the transfer would happen...
She also asked if I would be okay with an OB student coming in to observe the transfer... Why not?

A few minutes later Dr H came in to discuss our little embryos. He said four were very good, and that some others might be good enough tomorrow to freeze! He asked how many we wanted to transfer.
"Two, we want to transfer two."
"Alright. Now I'm going to give you some numbers. This is in NO WAY to persuade you or change your mind. But I have to give you these facts... With your age and the amount of embryos you have with high ratings, that makes you a Gold Standard Patient. So here are all the percentages for our Gold Standard Patients..." He went on to tell us the success rates with one vs two embryos transferred, the percentage of twins, etc. I'm not going to share them here, but they were CRAZY. But, ultimately, I went with my gut.
"Okay. Whoa. Okay, well I'm still okay with two."
"Alright. Here is a picture of the best two. This one is 4a___ _______" He's still talking. What's he saying? Their ratings? Look at these BEAUTIFUL blasts!! These are our embryos!! Our future babies!! They DO look perfect!! Oh I love them so much already!!
I clutched the picture, I didn't care if Danny wanted to hold it or get a better look. It was NOT going to leave my hand.
Dr H pushed around on my belly with the sonogram wand thing, seeing what Connie did with the bladder. And the student commented on my "pretty ovaries." Why, thank you nice student lady!!
Then the transfer began. My bladder still didn't expand enough, but with enough pushing (OUCH), they got the proper view.
"Okay, do you see the bright white on the screen?"
"Yeah, I see it."
"That's the catheter. You can see some movement there right now. This part that you see right now will stay right there. The rest of the catheter will be removed, given to the embryologist so he can load the embryos, and then brought back and put back in. That's when the embryos will be transferred into you." Wow!!!
"Oh, and you'll see the embryologist in here, obviously, for all of that. I'm not sure if you've met him?" Sure haven't... But hey, what difference does yet ANOTHER stranger make. He's the babies' first babysitter after all...
"We haven't met him..."
"We  used to tell people that they might see a strange person come in during this, but I don't think they liked being called strange..." HA!! THAT is funny!!

Right on time, the embryologist came in. We all laughed, quietly, but didn't fill him in on the little joke. He was told to load the two best, and then he disappeared again. I didn't look again, I was so focused on the sono screen.
Before I knew it there was movement on the screen again! I clutched Danny's hand.
"The embryos are too small to be seen on this screen. But you WILL see air bubbles. There should be one before and one after the embryos. This will create a sort of flash on the screen so you'll see it happening." Oh WOW!!!
FLASH... Two air bubbles, with a small amount of space in between them... Right there!!!
"Okay, now Brad will take the catheter to be sure both embryos are out, sometimes they get stuck..." No way could one get stuck, that went too well!!
Dr H walked away to check with Brad.
Connie and the student were whispering...
"Did you see him nod? He never does that. I knew, when he did that, that this was perfect. He never shows any emotion!!"
Dr H came back.
"Okay they are both out of the catheter." He started pushing around on my belly with the sono again, printing some pictures. "That's great...." What? What's great?! He walked off again and Connie and the student started talking again...
"He NEVER says anything about transfers, during or after. He said this was great. He's a perfectionist so he's never happy enough with anything. This went BEYOND perfect, for him to be happy with it! And did you see the air bubbles? They are still close together, and just those two. A lot of times you won't see both, or there will end up being more because of the air bubbles messing up, sometimes they spread out. This is just perfect!" Perfect!! YES!!!!
Dr H came back and finished up and we discussed the pregnancy test date.
"You can test at home, but all that we ask is that if you get a negative, don't stop taking the medication. The home tests just aren't always reliable and we don't want to mess anything up."
"Okay."
"Some couples say they won't test, but we want you to know it's okay to." Ha...
"Well we've already bought some..."
Everyone laughed.
"Okay, well good luck!"

I had to lay for 10 more minutes on the bed, and during this Connie went through all the rules for after the transfer.
"Lots of rest. NO cooking or housework" **points at Danny** "Have someone else do all that. Then after the two days are up, continue to take it easy. No working out. Nothing strenuous." Not. A. Problem.
"Alrighty."
"And, most importantly. If you test at home... YOU BETTER CALL ME OR EMAIL ME!! I want to know asap!!! Don't leave me in the dark here!" Awww, I LOVE HER!!!!
"I will be sure to let you know!"
Connie hugged me, and we had 5 more minutes to lay on the bed and relax...



I couldn't decide if we should tell everyone that we transferred two. We haven't had a lot of privacy through all this, which is fine considering it's thanks to all of YOU that we are even in this position! But I wanted to keep some things between the two of us. I did want our families to know though, so I sent a picture of our embie picture to our moms. They are their future grandbabies after all.
We ended up posting a picture of the embryos last night on Facebook, telling everyone that we transferred two.

We are going to test early, at home. But we won't be sharing those results. We don't know WHEN exactly we will be taking that test. And we would like to keep the results between just the two of us for a bit, just like other couples get to NORMALLY. The blood test IS on a specific day. However, the pregnancy isn't considered official until there are multiple blood tests with the levels doubling appropriately... And really even then it's not OFFICIAL OFFICIAL until there's a heartbeat (or two?).... We don't know when we'll be sharing any results. But please, PLEASE understand our want for a bit of normalcy through all of this. We will keep you all updated as soon as it's safe! Or maybe even before then, we don't know. We want to be the ones to make that decision though.

Now.... Do you want to see our future babies?? I hope they're snuggling comfortably in RIGHT NOW!!!! <3 <3

Egg retrieval!

Hey there everyone!!!
I'm so sorry it's been SO LONG since I posted. Things have been BEYOND crazy lately though.

An update on everything up through last week:

For those of you who are on our Facebook, you know I was in a little bit of trouble. My body was sort of OVERreacting to the stim meds. Basically, my body was putting the eggs/follicles first... And my health last. The docs (and Danny) were NOT happy with this. We tried lowering my doses... didn't work. So then we started what they call "coasting." Which basically means I was off all meds other than Lupron (which prevents ovulation). It took a while for the coasting to work. Three days as a matter of fact, the absolute LONGEST amount of time that Dr H allows anyone to coast.

At one of my last monitoring appointments he apologized, sincerely, for me having to go through all of that nonsense.
"I'm so sorry you're having to go through all of this, and having to be monitored every day. In hindsight, I should have started you out at an even lower dose, but I had no way of knowing. I already started you out lower than anyone else...." Ha. Leave it to my body to go berserk with a lower dose than he gives ANYONE.
"It's okay. I'm an overachiever, so of course my ovaries are too."


Fast forward to FINALLY getting the go ahead to "trigger." My egg retrieval appointment was set up, and the hotel reservations for the night before made. We would be staying in OKC on Halloween night.
It was our year with Faith on Halloween so we picked her up from school, got her ready, and went to my parents' house for the usual Halloween festivities. All while Danny was not feeling quite right. Faith went trick or treating. Danny tried to sleep on the couch while he could.
We took Faith to her mom's a little earlier than normal so we could get on the road... And we headed out....

We made it to OKC in good time, checked in to the nice hotel (that we were staying at for FREE thanks to a dear friend <3)... Got to our room.... And Danny proceeded to VOMIT ALL NIGHT LONG. He definitely had the stomach flu! And I didn't want it!!!

The next morning I woke up and got ready for the egg retrieval! I let Danny sleep as long as possible, it was a long night for him after all....

We arrived at the clinic and I was called back to write the check for the anesthesia. Then I went back into the waiting room to wait...
When it was finally time, we were taken back to a different section of the clinic that I'd never been in before. I was prepped and ready to go, when the anesthesiologist came in. This man is supposed to be the best in the state...
We chatted for about 10 seconds about my allergies and what will happen. And then he and Danny started chatting about heating and air and what AC systems are best and how long they last and I was laying there thinking "What the heck?? How did we get here, to this conversation?!" Ha!!

Before long I was wheeled across the hall to the egg retrieval room. Dr H was there, and we went over what would happen. I was attached to a few machines, and then the stirrups were attached to the bed.
"I'll help you get your legs up here." Help? Why would I need help. I can lift my legs....
"Okay..."
"Next we _____"
OUT. LIKE. A. LIGHT.

.........................................

"Blah blah blah" Huh? What are they saying?
"How many eggs?"
"Blah blah blah." What?? Did she say 24? Oooo 24.....
OUT again....
"Blah blah blah..." What are they SAYING?! Did we really get 24 eggs?
"How many eggs? 24?"
"No, 21. Which is great!" Ewww, 21. That's not as many as I thought we'd have. Hopefully they are all mostly mature.
"You already asked about the eggs babe..." Did I really?
"Danny, shush it. I know."
"It's okay, most girls ask way more than twice... And most HUSBANDS don't get to see all of the recovery when you're waking up, Daniel here just got lucky because he's sick!" YEAH DANNY!!!

The rest of recovery went okay. I was crampy so I took some pain meds... Big mistake, they made me so tired and nauseous. And we had to ride all the way home with me feeling like that!!
That night I felt a little better, but the new shots (in the tush) HURT. And then I started feeling wonky again. I just wasn't okay.
I stayed home from the work the next day. It helped, but I still didn't feel normal.

Honestly, it's been almost a week and I STILL don't feel 100%. I've been on so many meds to prevent OHSS and infection and progesterone shots now to help the embryos and it's all just making my body crazy. I rarely even take a regular Tylenol for a headache! My body is probably in some form of shock. BUT, things are looking better these days, so that's okay! <3

He is in charge of Stabby Hour....

Happy Monday!!!

Sorry for the lack of posts last week. The days have been an absolute whirlwind these days!!!!

Quick fundraiser update... There is ONE more going on, and it's the one that was originally just in my group of Brides.com girls. This is now open for EVERYONE until every square is sold. Here is the pic (click on it to make it bigger!) that explains it better than I can!

There aren't many boxes still available (because my Brides girls rock my socks!), but I will post this pic on our Facebook, along with the available numbers. Please COMMENT ON THE PICTURE there, with the numbered box you'd like. Please checks the comments before yours so the number you want isn't already taken! Then Paypal the money ($5/box) to Rena. She is going to take care of all the funds and then give me the profit at the end!!


The cookie fundraiser is all done now I believe, I should probably double check ;)


And now for updates on the IVF process....

Last week I had my baseline appointment, also known as the "suppression check." All was fine and dandy. The sono showed less antral follicles than ever (14 and 10, waaahhh), BUT that just means the Lupron was doing it's job... Suppressing! I hope some more pop up during the stims!

After the baseline appointment I went over to the Blood Institute for my infectious disease testing. OUCH. Seventy-five dollars, five vials of blood and one HUGE BRUISE later (I'll spare you the details), we were done. My mom and I went out for breakfast and followed that up with some shopping... And getting a little lost in OKC. Hey, it isn't a road trip if we don't get lost at least once, right?
Saturday night we started the stim meds. That meant that the Lupron dose dropped from 10 to 5. The stims are Menopur (1 vial, meaning 75 iu) and Follistim (125 iu). That's three shots a night! All in the stomach! OUCH AGAIN. Saturday night we also had a Halloween party to attend (in case you're interested, we were Christian Grey and Anna Steele-Grey). I did NOT feel good. I'd had dizzy spells from the Lupron leading up to Saturday and I was hoping the stims would make those stop. They didn't. Hot flashes continued as well. I just wasn't a happy camper. We ended up leaving pretty early and I was happy to just go to bed!!

Last night we switched up the way we did the injections, trying to find what works best for us. The injections went better than they had the night before but WHEW that Menopur BURNS.


I'll post tomorrow about my appointment I had today. Today's post I really want to talk about my amazing husband....

Through all of these injections, Danny has really been a trooper. He is in charge of Stabby Hour. He is doing all the mixing, measuring and stabbing. All I do is stand there and try to breathe... And then mark off my calendar of course (that's my favorite part!). He is really good at everything, despite never doing any injections before (unless you count being on the receiving end of TONS during cancer surgery/chemo/etc). I couldn't be more proud of him!

The part that makes me the happiest with all of this, is how interested he is in all of it. He asked some questions at the last RE appointment he went with me to. And he's really looking out for me now that injections have started.
Last Wednesday after my appointment I sent him a text telling him how fast it went. His response? "Well, how did it go?" Ohhhh yeah, I guess that's important too. So many guys probably wouldn't care or think to ask. He does. He wanted to make sure everything was still okay.
Saturday night he repeatedly asked how I was doing. He told me, again repeatedly, that it was OKAY to leave early. And made sure I knew that whenever I was ready was fine.
During my hot flashy and dizzy spells during the party, he was right there asking what he could do. I ended up outside for most of the night enjoying the gloriously cool weather. Of course Danny's reaction is "You're not supposed to be around that stuff..." because I was hanging around the cigarette smoke. My caring, loving husband <3 I was outside, not in a closed smokey room, so I knew I was fine. But what caught me off guard with that statement from him, was the fact that I had mentioned that MONTHS ago... about the second hand smoke being bad during IVF, especially during the stims period. I'd read an article on either the RESOLVE or ATTAIN facebook pages out loud to him. Most guys tune out and I half expected him to. Turns out, he didn't. Not only did he listen, he took it to heart. He's looking out for me, so much, even this early on in the process...

Wonder how he'll be once I'm pregnant!! ;)


That's all for today, IT'S ALMOST STABBY HOUR!!! Time to go stand, breathe and go to my happy place!

Things are going to get a little crazy

Happy Thursday everyone!! :)

Quick fundraiser update!!
Don't forget about the sign from PaddyWhacks!! That raffle ends THIS WEEK. As in I draw a name on the 14th!! If you want in on it, donate to our Paypal, with your name, and let me know that THIS is what you are donating for! Easy peasy! $10 and the sign can be yours!!

Also!! Sugar Cookielicious put together another COOKIE FUNDRAISER!! She is only accepting a limited amount of orders.. Guess how many are left? ONE. Just. One!! If you want that LAST order, go place it NOW!!

There's also another fundraiser going on in one of the private groups I'm a part of on Facebook... I've mentioned the group a few times, MY BRIDES GIRLS!! Love them!! They are so supportive!! It seems to be going pretty well right now!


On to today's post... We had a little talk with Miss Faith yesterday about everything, and this is how it went!!!


After work yesterday Faith told us all about how she got a yellow day at school the day before, but had earned it back to a green!! This is big news for her, considering last year she got a TON of yellow and a few red. I had a plan to give her a little gift and when she first said she'd gotten her day turned to yellow I felt a surge of disappointment. She wouldn't get the gift with a yellow day the day before. I was SO proud that she'd earned it back to green!

Faith went to her room when she was done talking about her day, and I dug her gift out of my purse. Faith is a HUGE Monster High fan. HUGE. Months ago I preordered the Ghouls Rule DVD from Amazon, planning on it being a Christmas gift. It arrived Tuesday and I realized it would be a better gift for before Halloween... and what better time to give it than right before things start to get crazy?

I called Faith back into the living room, with the DVD hidden.
"Yeah?"
"Come sit down... We need to have a little chit chat."
Danny teased her a bit, saying she was in so much trouble. I guess I rolled my eyes because Faith looked at me and then looked relieved. I have no poker face I guess.
"No, you're not in trouble. I just wanted to talk to you a little bit. You know that I started my shots already. Next week I go back down to Oklahoma and the week after that I start going down there a LOT. Things are going to get a little crazy for a little while. We're going to be really busy. I don't think any of the appointments should affect our time with you. But we will be tired. And we'll have more shots..." Faith looked a little scared and asked a couple questions, I told her that yes, I'd be having a small surgery but it was going to be really easy and I'd be home that night and I'd be just fine.
"Okay...."
"And I just want you to know that we're going to try to keep things as normal as possible around here. The medicine might make me a little grumpy, but I'll try to not let it do that to me. The doctor wants me to not stress, and to do a lot of relaxing. So I'll probably need your help with some stuff."
Faith loves helping so I expected her reaction...
"Okay! Yeah! I'll help! Anything!" Of course, little monster, always so helpful!
"Now we want you to know we are REALLY REALLY proud of how well you're doing in school this year with your talking and all of that. We know you're really trying hard and we really appreciate that. We want you to keep that up. Even when things get a little crazy over the next few weeks. We still need you to be good, at school and at home. We really need you to be good. And, since you've BEEN so good, and we just KNOW you'll keep being good... We got you a little something. We ordered it a long time ago and it finally got delivered yesterday..."
"EEEEeeeee" She doesn't even know what it is yet! Hahaha
"So here is it!"
I pulled out the Ghouls Rule DVD and I got TACKLED!!!!! I guess she was a LITTLE excited!
"I knew it! I KNEW that was it! I just knew it! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!"  Totally worth every penny that DVD cost...
"You're welcome!"
"I love you!!" Heart, melted.
"I love you too baby girl."

We didn't see her again until she came out of her room to tell us how awesome the DVD was! I was mostly just happy that she sat through our little talk and actually paid attention. I have no doubt in my mind that she will try her best to be good while we are going through all this (especially because she's INCESSANTLY asking us to give her a brother).


Update on my injections!
Just did injection number 5!! This one hurt just a tad because Danny didn't stab quite fast enough (in his defense, he has a BAD burn that's really fresh on his finger and it got in the way). I felt my ab muscles protest again, but it's okay! It just hurt for a second! He still did great, especially considering that burn! The injection site is already itchy. That's getting pretty annoying, but I'm so thankful it's not lasting as long as it did the first night!
I've only gotten one TINY bruise so far. Not bad :)
I have noticed a few side effects lately. I occasionally get a pretty bad hot flash. I didn't expect those to happen so quickly, but I guess that shows that the medicine is working. I'm also SO SO SO VERY TIRED. It kicks in every afternoon and it's to the point that I find it hard to function. I was very tempted to go home from work early today, but I knew that wasn't a good idea considering I have an appointment next week and then I'd be using lots of vacation days after that. So, I stuck it out. I got a second wind though and am feeling great now!
I'm glad I'm on a low dose of Lupron, I've been reading about ladies on TWICE as much as I'm on and whew, I just can't imagine!

I'm really excited about everything, and of course scared out of my mind. Mostly I'm afraid that this won't work. I've been so positive this whole time that it's hard for me to come to terms with the fact that I DO have this fear, and it's a valid one. I think it would be ridiculous if I went into this thinking there's no CHANCE of failure. There is. I don't want to set myself up for massive disappointment. I'll be disappointed if it doesn't work, there's no doubt. But if my mind was so set on one thing that hearing the opposite would cripple me. and I can't do that. I'm going to stay positive about it, why wouldn't I? But I won't go in to this in a naive way thinking it's a 100% thing. It's not. We should be on the "higher side of the success rates" according to Dr H. But that success rate still isn't a guarantee.

I've really appreciated so many people coming forward with their own stories throughout our journey. And I'm SUPER excited that one friend (that I've known for years) got the go ahead to do IVF this month!! I was excited for her when I heard and then I was ECSTATIC when she got her personalized calendar and she starts stims THE DAY AFTER ME!! We are cycle buddies!! If our bodies cooperate, we will be going in for egg retrievals a day apart (or maybe the same day!) I'm so happy to have someone I KNOW personally going through this right along with me, although I'll be honest and say I REALLY REALLY wish she didn't HAVE to go through this! I also wish she was closer! But hey, we'll be talking a lot through texts and such, so that's okay!


So there you have it. An update on EVERYTHING!! Please keep us in your thoughts/prayers/send good vibes/whatever it is you do. We're in the middle of this and it's not over yet. It won't be over until we bring a baby (or two?) home, and we need all the prayers we can get up until then. We really appreciate all of you!!!!

Stabby Hour...

Hey hey people!! Have you been itchin' for an update?!

I've been itching too... But for a different reason!! Ahhh!!!!

If you're not on our Facebook, you may not know this... but... We started injections over the weekend!!! EEEEEEK!!! Wanna hear all about it?? If not (and you're one of those needle-phobes... *cough* Kristy *cough*) you can go ahead and skip this post. You probably don't want to hear about it all!

Sunday was the big day. I was nervous and scared and nervous... and scared! Danny had hockey and although there is a bit of a time window for the injections, it wasn't enough for it to NOT be messed up by his game. This is when it's handy to know people who can do shots! Insert my sister-in-law! Danielle said she'd do it, and we made the plan to do it at my mom's house.

Danny left for his game and I started gathering everything I could POSSIBLY need. The box of Lupron. The big box the lupron and supplies came in. The extra supply bag. The welcome bag which included a DVD (even though Danielle knows how to give the shots). My calendar, so I could double check the dosage. The sharps container.
I packed it all up and headed to my parents' house, WAY WAY early. That's me. Early. All the time. I walked in with all my stuff.
"Hey babe!"
"Hey Dad!"
"Are you by yourself?"
"Yep. Came over for shots. Shots ALL around!! No? Just me??"
"Just you baby girl... Is Danielle coming over to do it?" Of course! She rocks!
"Yep."
Cue crazy nervous stomach....

I sat around, watching some not-so-interesting Lifetime movie my mom was watching. I put the DVD in her laptop and watched it again, again learning nothing new. I looked over all the supplies. I double checked the dosage on the calendar. I watched the DVD again.
My brother, Danielle, and my little niece walked in the door just as I was about to lose my mind.
"Presley! Hi baby!!"
"NeeNee!!"
I relaxed for a while, talking to the little munchkin. She has that way about her, instantly helping  your mood. I love her!
Finally, it was 6:00. Stabby hour. Like Happy Hour, but with fertility drugs instead of alcohol... And needles instead of shot glasses.... And there's not much happy about it. Shots. Eww.
Danielle got everything ready. I told her to do it on the right side of my stomach. She swabbed with the alcohol pad. Swabbed the vial of Lupron (with a different pad!). Put in 10 units... and...
"Are you ready?" Ahhhh NO NO NO NO NO I AM NOT READY!!
"Yep, I'm ready."
Danielle pinched my stomach fat and I felt every ab muscle I have twinge.
Even my body is protesting this!!
"Whoa..."
"Are you okay?" NO!
"Yeah, do it."
"You don't want to look?" NO NO NO
"No! Can't!"
"I'm done." WHAT?!
"Oh, wow. That was fast."
I looked down, expecting... something! I didn't see anything. A tiny red dot where she stabbed. That was it.
"Thank you, so much!!"
I spent some more time with the family, and then rushed home to get the Lupron in the fridge and head to Danny's game.
And during all that? I started to feel a bit itchy. Right where I had my shot. I looked at the spot, again seeing nothing.
The rink where Danny plays hockey was hot. I was still itchy. I held one of the most adorable little babies in the whole world for as long as I could, and when the game was over I handed him back. And looked at my stomach. And no longer saw "nothing." I saw something. Red, blotchy, itchy skin. Not just a tiny spot either. A pretty big area! I promised myself I wouldn't google it...

But I did google it. I didn't really find much. I sent texts to all my friends that I could think of that would know if the reaction was bad. I decided to email Connie the next morning...

I did. And her response wasn't what I expected...

"That's definitely not common." WHAT?! Of COURSE. Of friggin' COURSE. My body hates everything, why wouldn't it hate this medicine?! Ugh!!
She told me to keep taking it and let her know if it gets any worse. I got another email a few minutes later telling me that if it causes shortness of breath to stop taking it immediately and call the on-call doc. She said she didn't think it would happen, but it's better to be cautious.
So. Comforting.

I posted on one of the forums I frequent, asking if anyone else had this reaction. Some girls did! They said they had the reaction on one side rather than the other. One girl said she only got the reaction sometimes. I decided maybe it wouldn't happen again. And I was feeling okay about it...


Yesterday after work I was nervous all over again. It was almost Stabby Hour. We had Faith, and when she heard us talking about the shots she wanted to be all up in that action.
"You're not taking her blood are you Daddy?"
"No, I'm giving her a shot, that's different."
"Okay, then I want to watch." YOU WHAT?! Don't I get a say in this?!
I figured by the time came around for the shot she'd be off in her room and we could sneak it in without her paying attention or noticing.
Nope.
We were watching Cupcake Wars in the living room together when Stabby Hour rolled around. I got all the "goods" out of my box and headed to the kitchen.
Deep breaths. In and out. It's gonna be fine. Danny is confident in this. He's got this. I HATE THIS SO MUCH. I HATE THIS.
Danny got everything ready, I stayed looking away. I made the mistake to glance over when Danielle was getting everything ready and noticed that the needle was bigger than I had thought. I didn't want to see it again.
Alcohol wipe on the tummy, the left side this time.
Faith stepped closer.
I stepped away.
Faith stepped closer again.
"Faith, don't get too close okay?"
"I want to see. Eww. Ewwww." SHE is standing here shivering and freaking out and I am the one about to get stabbed. Ahhhh.
"Ready?" Oh no no no no no. No I am not. I'm not ready!
"Yeah."
Done.
It really is that fast!
"Whoa. Thanks love! I hardly felt a thing! Thank you so much!"
"I told you it would be easy." Yeah yeah yeah...
I looked at Faith who no longer looked freaked out.
"Okay, you're fine. Now start cooking dinner!" Uhhh WHAT?! Seriously?
"Umm, no? I will start cooking when I want to start cooking! First I'm going to finish watching our show!"

My left side had the same reaction to the medication as the right side had. But it didn't last as long (30 minutes versus 3 hours). It's a manageable reaction, so I decided not to worry about it. I also felt a sense of relief. Danny is confident with the shots. He's fast and knows what he's doing. For the first time I really felt like I can do this. I REALLY REALLY CAN do this. We can do this. Together. And when Danny isn't available, Danielle has said she can fill in on Stabby Hour duty. We've got this!!!

It's taken me so long to type this post up that now Stabby Hour for today has come and gone. We moved back to the right side of my belly today. Start to finish it took us about two minutes. From getting everything prepped and ready to Danny standing back up saying I can open my eyes, it's over. It's just that easy.


We are DOING THIS you guys! Really seriously!!! We are!! And you know what my favorite part is? Crossing off the days on the calendar!! I'm counting down the days!!!



Quick update on how I'm feeling:
The hormonal headaches are gone. I'm not sure if my body finally got used to the birth control pills (of course it would be my LAST week on them) or if the Lupron helps that along or what. But I am one THANKFUL gal!! I've read that Lupron can make some people pretty grumpy and some of the side effects don't sound fun, but so far so good! Hopefully I just skip right over all of that stuff!!!

Quick update on my reaction to the shot I just got 25 minutes ago... Yeah... Dark red and blotchy already. Hmm.. I guess the right side IS worse than the left. Dang.

IVF meds HAVE ARRIVED!!!

Happy Friday!!!

Have you donated yet to get  your entry to win the sign? If not, and you want the sign, you better get to that now! You're running out of time!

For those of you on our Facebook, you know that we received my medication Wednesday! Here is the run down of all of THAT action :)

Tuesday afternoon I got a call from our pharmacy asking for my insurance information.
"Oh my insurance doesn't cover any of the fertility medications."
"We will work something out and make sure they cover at least something. We are in your corner here." Well okay then...
I rattled off all the numbers and letters, birth dates, names, etc.
"Okay, someone will be calling you back shortly to go over the shipment, costs, and payment." Oh that makes me nauseous...
I waited around for the call, knowing that the one time I forgot to take my phone with me to the next room would be when they called... It didn't happen like that though. My phone buzzed and I glanced down and it was our pharmacy calling!!
I confirmed all the info I'd previously given a different lady, and then went over the costs.
"Okay I have you down for one box of Lupron for $169. A 900iu vial of Follistim and pen for $762. Eight vials of Menopur for $624. A vial of HCG for $59.90. And your insurance covered the progesterone in oil with just a $10 copay for twenty doses." WHEW. Thank you, insurance, for covering SOMETHING!!!!
We set up payment and I was told the shipment would be an overnight delivery.

Tuesday after work the headache I'd been battling all day decided that it was going to win. And win, it did. I forced myself to make dinner and eat. I thought maybe I needed caffeine so I drank sweet tea. I took MORE Tylenol. Nothing was working and I'm not sure what caused it but I am assuming it's the super strong birth control pills that my body is still not used to. I'm SO ready to be off of those! I was in bed and asleep before 8:30.

Wednesday my headache was gone, but was replaced by the stress of the medication delivery. I had told the lady that I wouldn't be home so she took off the "signature needed" thing. We've never had anything stolen from our porch (**knock on wood**) so at the time I thought nothing of it. Looking back, that was a bad decision. That's a LOT of money in medication, and although I didn't think someone would steal a package from a pharmacy, you just never know.
I emailed the contact at the pharmacy asking for a tracking number... I didn't hear back. I ran home before lunch to check for the delivery, nothing. I ran home again AFTER lunch to check again. Still nothing. I relentlessly checked my email. Nothing nothing nothing. I decided it would definitely be at home when we got home from work.

It wasn't.

"Is it supposed to be through UPS?" Ugh, yes, UPS. I'd rather it was through FedEx...
"Yes."
"Then it won't get here until 5:30-6:00. Don't worry." I AM worried!!!!

I decided to keep my mind off of it by watching Tuesday night's Parenthood since I slept through it. It was a good episode, but I was still stressing the entire time and looking out the window any time I heard a large vehicle turn down our street. I cried through the preview for next week's episode, and deleted the show from the DVR. I decided I was going to call the pharmacy and ask for a tracking number... I got up to get the card when the UPS truck pulled in front of our house!!
Danny sent the dogs to the bedroom so he could answer the door and bring the box in without them shooting out the door to get attention from the neighbor kids or the UPS guy. And he carried in the heavy box.

I couldn't open it fast enough! I did take pics during the whole process though! And here they are! These are all the meds I'll be on for the next month (plus some weeks if a pregnancy is achieved)!!

This is what I saw as soon as I took the top off of the cooler:

 This is after I got it all organized, with the meds in front of the coordinating bag full of supplies (plus the Follistim pen and box of that med, that "supply bag" IS the pen). There is also more Menopur than you see here, because of the vials my awesome friend had leftover that she gave me! Thanks again Tracie!!

Here is the first of the injections, that start THIS SUNDAY. The Lupron. Yes, ALL of those needles will be used (well, a ton of them), and just with that ONE tiny vial of medication! CRAZY

Half of my Menopur, with the coordinating supplies!!



This is the Follistim vial that goes inside the pen. This TINY vial? $762. And that is BY FAR the cheapest available for that medication.

The Follistim pen in it's neat little "purse" with needles:

The HCG trigger. And the BIG needle that goes with it since that shot goes in the tush.

The tush shots are the HCG trigger which will be about 36 hours before the egg retrieval, and then the Progesterone in oil shots, which will be NIGHTLY from the egg retrieval all through the first 10+ weeks of pregnancy! They use THIS SIZE of a needle. As long as my pinky!! AHHHHH!!!

There they are now... The Progesterone in Oil shots... Two vials. HUNDREDS (okay I may be SLIGHTLY exaggerating) of needles/syringes.

 And the ever important Sharps Container. Gotta be safe with the biohazardous materials! :)

I'm a planner and an organized person. I have to have things in order. SO I had to go get a cute little Rubbermaid container to keep all the meds, supplies AND my calendar in. It all JUST BARELY FIT!!! But, it did. And there you have it. ALL of my IVF meds (minus the birth control pills I'm still on but I keep those in the cabinet with my nightly vitamins)!!!

Looking at all of that, do you feel sorry for me? ;) Don't. This is what I have to go through in order for our dreams to come true. And I'll be completely, 100% honest with you when I say... I'd rather have a shot than have to take a pill. I just can't do pills. Even the tiny birth control pills annoy me. I'll take a Tylenol because I know it'll bring me relief. But birth control pills annoy me. Taking it before bed annoys me. And I'm SERIOUSLY looking forward to all of these shots because it means things are REALLY HAPPENING!!!!

THINGS ARE REALLY HAPPENING!!!!!!

We are currently ready to get everything going and DONE! We did get a loan from an ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS friend. We got a large donation from another FABULOUS friend last night, and another donation this morning, and of course she's fabulous, too! So, we are ready!!! Any donations/funds raised from this point on will go towards transportation and any other "surprise expenses" that arise. It happens, obviously! But, the stress is gone!!!

THANK YOU to everyone for all of your help. It's taken a lot to get us to this point, and there's no way we'd be here without you all!!

And a special shout out to my Brides girls!!! You all go above and beyond and we are SO blessed to have you in our lives!! Your support, in EVERY way, is so marvelous!! Love you all!!!

That means it will happen to us!!!

It's  been a pretty big week! Sorry I've been missing in action!
Monday we had our big testing appointment, and then Tuesday I had such an awful headache that I seriously could not function. Last night we were just busy, so I couldn't blog. BUT HERE I AM, back to blogging for you fine folks today! I'll actually have a post for tomorrow too! So be sure to check back!

First and foremost... DON'T FORGET TO ENTER to win this sign!!! $10 donation/per entry!

This ends in less than two weeks, so get your donations in now if you're wanting the sign!!!!

Okay... Today's post is going to be all about our appointment on Monday!
I decided to stay home from work. It was the day after my birthday, and I wanted to just sleep in a bit before things started to get crazy. So I did. Danny, of course, went into work for as long as he possibly could. He got home shortly before lunch, and we hit the road.

The ride was, as usual, boring. There's not exactly a lot to see in between here and OKC. Some cows. Oil rigs. More cows.

We got to the clinic WAY WAY early, because of course we expected traffic and didn't happen upon any... So we hung out in the downstairs lobby for about 30 minutes. I had to fill my bladder, so I was chug-chug-chugging my water and Danny was making fun of me. As. Usual. :)

When it was about time for my appointment we headed upstairs to check in.  There was a different girl at the desk than I saw the time before, but she was super sweet and sounded a lot like Miranda Lambert! I chugged some more water. And some more. And more. I was GOING to have a full bladder during the testing dang it!!

Connie came out to get us after a bit, and we chatted for a while about the different things we would be going through... Or rather, what I would be going through. We went through the calendar, and briefly discussed the meds. This chat usually takes about 45 minutes but it only took us about 15-20. I drank some more water even though I was pretty sure my bladder was about to explode.

"Okay, so the first procedure is the mock transfer. This will be what your actual transfer will be like. Some people say it is slightly uncomfortable, just because of the full bladder. Most people say the real thing is even easier than this. THEN you'll have your saline sonogram. This is NOT something you'll have to go through again. So when it's done, just forget about it. It'll cause some cramping and pain, but the whole thing will be over quick." Oh that's so comforting.. It's going to hurt. Just awesome...
Connie left me us in the room, and I changed into the wonderful sheet that was left on the table.
"So, you're going to have to be down here a LOT for the monitoring..." Uhhh yes, I know this.
"Yeah, I told you that before any of this even started... I KNEW that."
"Is it even going to be possible for someone to come down with you all those days?" Seriously?
"YES, mom said she will, and your mom said she will. I only need you to take off work for the egg retrieval because they put me out for that, and for the embryo transfer because you should be there when I'm getting impregnated..."
"Well yeah, I know those days. Those are a given. But those other days, that's a lot...." Again, DUH.
"Yeah, well I was prepared for that. I warned our moms, they OFFERED to drive me down..."
"It's just crazy..." Is he in shock?? Has he not been listening to me this whole time??

"Good afternoon guys! Nice to see you again!" Ahh Dr H! Finally!! My bladder is DEFINITELY full... Let's do this!
"Hey there! It's nice to be here."
We talked briefly about the shipment from Reprotech to the clinic. And then Dr H went over the two tests we were doing.
"After the mock transfer, you'll be able to go across the hall to the bathroom and empty your bladder." HALLELUJAH!!!!! "Then we'll do the saline sonogram. That procedure will cause some pain and cramping, but I'll try to be quick so it should be minimal. Let us know if you are too uncomfortable and we'll see what we can do though." Oh this is going to be BAD. Just great...

And it began. Connie put a regular sonogram wand-thing on my belly and pushed down. My bladder was NOT HAPPY.
"Do you see the big black blob on the screen there? That's your bladder." That BIG black blob!!!!
"So, did I get it full enough then?"
Simultaneously-"Oh yes." HAHAHAHA I'm good at filling a bladder I guess.

The mock transfer was insanely quick. My bladder was thankful.
"Okay Destiny, you can run across the hall and empty your bladder, you can get dressed or you can just wrap the sheet around you if you're in a hurry. There's nobody else in this area at this time today. I will be in my office and when you're done and ready, I'll come back and we'll start on the saline sonogram." Sheet, I'm just going to use the sheet. I am about to pee myself!!!!!!
"Okay. I'm doing the sheet thing."
"Okay, I'll head out and make sure it's all clear..." Please let nobody else be here!! I gotta go NOW!!
"Don't forget your shoes, germophobe..." Oh, I almost forgot! Thank God I wore flip flops today! And thank God for my husband who reminded me! He knows me too well!
I ran across the hall, clutching my sheet.

I'll spare you the bathroom details, but Connie was waiting for me when I opened the bathroom door and gave me the all clear to head back to the exam room.

A very short while later, it was time to begin the saline sonogram. I was more than a little scared. But ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
My eyes bulged as I got a good look at the GINORMOUS syringes that held the saline that would be injected into me.
And then it began. I focused on the ceiling, thinking the pain would come any minute. I shifted my head so I could see the screen, just out of curiosity.
"Are you doing okay?" What? Am I doing okay? Of course I am.
"Yep, I'm fine."
I kept watching. They saw a spot on my uterus but they both said, at the same time, that it had to be from the catheter hitting before they had the picture focused there.
"How are you doing?" Are these people serious? I can barely feel a thing!
"I'm fine. I don't feel it."
"Oh. Well. Okay then." Calm down people, this is a breeze!
They finished up, did antral follicle counts again and also checked my lining. I went from fifteen follies on my right to "at least" twelve. And I went from "at least" twelve on my left, to sixteen!!! What the heck?!

After all of that was over, we went back into Dr H's office to discuss, in more detail, every aspect of the IVF cycle. We asked about the risks of the embryos splitting.
"I will be honest, I see it about once a year. It's been in young women when we've transferred two embryos, and one of them splits. It is actually the only triplets we see here. It's been about a year and a half since the last time..." A year and a half, it happens every year, THAT MEANS IT WILL HAPPEN TO US. We could SO not do that. Could we? There's no way that would be safe.
Danny asked about risks of birth defects if an embryo split. He asked about miscarriage risk. He asked a lot of questions.
We signed our last consent form, and then went into another room to go over the injections teaching with Connie when she was ready.

"Danny, I'm really freaked about the embryo splitting thing..."
"I'm more concerned with a miscarriage. With it happening to so many people lately, it's really hitting close to home. It happens. It could happen." I've always worried about that!! Hello!
"Yeah, that's scary. But I'm really worried about multiples. I mean, we could handle twins. But triplets?! And it happens every year and it's been a year and a half, that SERIOUSLY means it would happen to US because that's just our luck."
"Destiny that is NOT what that means. That is the very least of my concerns. Twins? Well, that's on you. I'm not the one that has to carry them. But I can see the argument against just putting in one and risking not getting pregnant at all." Oh dear... What are we going to do??

Connie came in and taught us ALL about the medications. Danny got to test out the Follistim pen (aiming into the trash can, not into my tummy!!), and practice mixing the Menopur using a Q-Cap. He also got to practice flicking the air out of the syringes. He was confident he understood it all.
Before I knew it was time to go, and the appointment had taken more time than I'd anticipated. It was already 5:00!! We DID hit traffic on the way home. I was sore from the exams and sore from sitting in the car and I was ready to get home and get to bed! So that's what I did! :)