That's my husband... Better than great...

Sorry for not posting yesterday! I took the day and did our taxes, which gave me a headache. I just had to put the laptop away! :)

The cupcake sale will begin soon. Lynds has some amazing ideas and all of her cupcakes look DELICIOUS!! I can't wait until she's got all the different kinds ready and takes pics so I can share with you all! I think we will just have the pics of the different cupcakes, and you can order what you would like and can pick them up at your convenience once your order is done. I'll let you all know if this changes!

That's all the updates I have for today! .......................................................................................................


The day finally came for Danny's surgery. It wasn't one I was nervous about, but I was worried it would be a painful recovery for him. We showed up bright and early and were the first people in the waiting room.
"We can take you right back here to fill out the paperwork." Oh geez, I'm so sick of paperwork!
We followed a nurse into a hallway with cubicles. Danny filled out papers concerning his surgery, while I filled out information regarding the sperm bank.
"Okay, I will need the payment of _____ for the transportation and testing of the vials. The first year's storage fee won't be taken out of your account until ReproTech gets the vials at their facility."
I handed my debit card over, thankful we'd gotten help from the bank and Danny's mom. Then another nurse came over and said she would be the one handling the vials. She explained a little bit about the procedure and what would happen afterward.
"Does your insurance cover IVF? Or do you even know yet? They probably don't, most around her don't." Ummm, I can't answer any of your questions if  you don't even take a breath lady...
"I uhh, I don't think they cover it, they aren't even covering this surgery."
"Ugh! Of course not! It's so ridiculous, these insurance companies!" Tell me about it...
I nodded, it was all I could do. Complaining about the insurance company policies wouldn't change them, and I didn't want to think about IVF yet. I needed to focus on Danny waking up from the surgery and recovering and being comfortable. I was suddenly nervous about him being knocked out so many times for different surgeries. Don't some people never wake up from those drugs? Suddenly, it all felt like a mistake.
This is a pointless surgery, because we probably will never be able to afford IVF. Meanwhile, his chemo is being pushed back, which is probably risking his life. And he's being put under by more drugs, and what if he doesn't wake up?! Oh no. No no no.
I needed Danny, I needed him to be strong and tell me I was being silly, but he had already been taken back for prep. I got my phone out so I could call someone, ANYONE, who could calm me down. I didn't get a chance to dial though, because Dr Gilbaugh came in to discuss the surgery with me.
"Hello Mrs Crabb! How are you today?" About to have a flippin' PANIC ATTACK!!!!!
"Umm, nervous I guess."
"Oh no need for that! Everything is going to be great. Danny may be uncomfortable over the next few days after this surgery. He should take it easy."
"Okay."
"What we are going to do is..." blah blah blah. These talks before every surgery and test and scan are just... UGH.... ridiculous! I don't understand anything anyone says!
"And then the nurse will come out and let you know what the final count of the sperm is. Danny will be able to leave once he's fully awake and feeling up to it."
"Okay."
"Also, I did want to mention... Some couples put their tax returns away in a heathcare savings account type thing. For IVF. It might be worth looking into as an option for you guys." Riiight, it will take 10 years for that!!
"Okay, I will talk to Danny about it."
"Okay, well I've got to go talk to a few other people. Someone should be back to get you any minute so you can see Daniel before the surgery." Another doctor who cares. Another doctor that goes above and beyond for his patients... We are so lucky....
"Thanks so much Doctor."
Almost immediately I was called back to see Danny. He was laughing and having a grand time with the nurses, something I was so used to seeing that it was a comfort. A norm.
"Is he giving you a hard time? He does that with all his nurses. Just tell him to shush it if you're tired of hearing him." I was laughing and smiling and feeling better. Good enough to joke around.
"Oh no, we rarely get FUN people in here! He's great!" That's my husband... Better than great...
We only had a few minutes before they took him back to surgery. I decided not to share my worries. He was in good hands, all of his doctors came to the same conclusion that chemo could wait. Even if we called this surgery off now, chemo probably wouldn't start any earlier. Danny still needed to get his port put in! Which would be ANOTHER surgery... We hung out and joked around for a while. I told Danny about the tax refund savings account thing. Then it was time...
"Ok Mrs Crabb, someone will be out afterward to fill you in." Ahhhh, I hate this part of the surgery days!
"I'll see you when you wake up babe. I love you."
"Don't worry, okay? I love you." Don't worry. Ha.
I headed back out to the waiting room, where I tried to read but couldn't. After a while a doctor came out to talk to the family sitting near me. I'd seen the young woman get taken back, she was around my age.
"I'm sorry, it was much worse than expected when we got in there. We had to do a hysterectomy. " The girls mom broke down. The man I assumed was her husband, or maybe boyfriend, put his head in his hands. Then asked if she would be okay.
 I shouldn't be listening, but they aren't being quiet. And I can't just get up and walk off. I wish the doctor was quieter, goodness, I'm not the only one that can hear this conversation...
"She will be okay. And I think this will take care of her pain and discomfort. But, the chance of having kids is..." I tuned out. I couldn't hear another spouse be told they couldn't have kids naturally or not at all. I just couldn't. I didn't want to make it obvious, but I got up and walked off. I went to a different section in the waiting room, where I was alone.
That girl was my age! And her chance of being a mom was ripped away! How UNFAIR is that?! Oh, God. I hope they somehow saved some eggs or something, before this. I hope they knew this was a possibility before she went back there.
A short while later, the nurse from earlier that morning came out to find me. She spotted me and looked so excited that I couldn't help but smile at her.
"Hey there! GREAT news!! We got ___ million!!" (I can't remember the exact number, whoops!)
"Oh wow, that is great news!"
"It is, it is. And they are in great shape! Swimming and active!" Oookay, this lady can calm down any time now. Everyone in here can hear her, she's so excited! How embarrassing... And ohmygosh, that poor family of that girl that had to have the hysterectomy... I  hope they aren't hearing all of this!
"What we did was wash them. And then did this procedure that basically watered them down, so they can freeze. Then I put them in their vials. There are six vials total." I kind of wish this lady wasn't so excited over all of this... It's kind of weird.... At least she's passionate about her line of work?
"Great. Thanks so much."
"I will leave you with this paperwork, and then they will call you back once he wakes up. If you have any questions about anything, feel free to call!"
The surgery was a success...I got my phone out to tell our moms that the surgery went well. Then I sent a text to a couple friends about how odd it was that the nurse was so excited about the final count. They agreed with me, of course.
"Mrs Crabb?" Oh that's the nurse from the surgery...
"Over here..." I got up and walked to her.
"Daniel isn't awake yet, but he will be any minute, I thought you could come back and wake him up."
"HA!! I can never wake him up! Unless I'm trying to be quiet so I DON'T wake him up..."
"My husband is the same way!" I like this nurse!!
She led me back to the bed where Danny was, and I tried to wake him up.
"Danny.... Danny! Babe... Hey!" He rustled around, opened his eyes, shook his head and closed them again.
"No no no, you don't get to go back to sleep! It's time to wake up."
"Ugh, I need more pain medicine." I don't think I've ever heard that out of his mouth.. Uh oh.
I got the nurse, and she gave him a pill.
"Don't go back to sleep. You're supposed to be awake. And I can't carry you out of here."
"Ohhhh, you don't think you could?" Look at that smirk!
"Shush. Come on, open your eyes. Wake up!"
"Fine, fine! I'm up!"
Another nurse came in and told Danny about the final count, and gave us the same papers I had in my hand. I guess they like to make SURE you get the paperwork there. I had to sign a few papers saying I wouldn't let Danny drive home. We finally got to leave, and as we were walking out I looked over at Danny. Who looked as proud as can be.
"What are you smiling about?"
"Did you hear what the final count was? That's a LOT!" Oh you're kidding...
"You're such a MAN!"
"Don't say it like it's an insult!" Ha!
We got a good laugh and then got in the car to go home.
That night Danny was supposed to take it easy. He had an ice pack on him all day long, and by 4:00 he was getting up off the couch.
"What are you doing?"
"Going to school. I can't miss." What?!
"I THINK they will understand, you had surgery TODAY."
"I can't miss. What if I'm sick from chemo and miss for that? I'm feeling okay. I won't be welding or anything today. I need to go while I can, in case I have to miss later." Good point.
"Okay, but I still don't agree with his."
He went anyway, despite my arguments. Because that's Danny. He has an insane work ethic, and that carries over into his school.
When he got home he was exhausted, and we went to bed early. We both felt great about the day. We were one step closer to chemo. One step closer to beating this cancer. And one (necessary) step closer to having a child together.


That's it for today!! Remember to follow and SHARE!! Thanks for reading :)