Stage 3b?!?! That sounds BAD

Well it's Monday, and I feel like I didn't get CRAP done all weekend. I haven't gotten a single bracelet delivered, and we were constantly on the go this weekend. I've decided that weekends are exhausting!!

I don't have any updates on other fundraisers that I've already mentioned on this blog, BUT I do have another fundraiser in the works!! Our wonderful friend Tonya, who is doing our Scentsy fundraiser, is going to do a Silpada fundraiser for us! She just signed up to be a consultant, so once she gets all of her stuff set up, we will start that fundraiser!! I'm super excited! I LOVE Silpada jewelry!!

I've gotten a few messages from people saying they wrote in to Ellen on our behalf! That makes me SUPER excited! I hope many more of you do the same, so she will be so overwhelmed with messages about us and this blog that she will just HAVE to have us on her show! Wouldn't that be amazing?!

Over the weekend I showed Faith where some of the people viewing this blog live. On our stats page I can see what countries have viewed and I thought Faith would enjoy it. She did! As we were stalking the page, a new country popped up on the list, Thailand! Faith was so excited!! And so was I!! Seeing my blog spread all over the world is a feeling I can't even explain. I love it!! And THANK YOU to everyone for sharing the link with others.

I think that's all I've got for now. So, back to our story :) ..........................................................................

Our first consult appointment was with the oral surgeon, for Danny's wisdom teeth. He wanted them out as soon as possible, and definitely before his cancer treatments began. He feared they would get infected once the chemo drained his immune system, so it was good timing for them to act up on the honeymoon. They scheduled an appointment for about two weeks later.
Then it was time to meet with Dr Johnson, the oncologist. Before finding out who Danny's doctor would be, my brother talked to his friend at the cancer center. He asked who she recommended, since she works so closely with all of the doctors there. She said Dr Johnson, so that's who I wanted. I wasn't sure how to go about GETTING him as Danny's doctor, so I just hoped and prayed. Dr Hyder gave us the referral, and when he said we would be seeing Dr Johnson, I was ecstatic!!
The morning of the consult we had to get to the cancer center early, so we could fill out paperwork. We were shuffled into a small office where we had to hand over insurance cards and sign some forms.
"Okay Daniel, I need you to sign this and this. I will make a copy of your card and be right back." She looks familiar... where is her name plate? I know her... How do I know her?
"Danny, does she look familiar to you?"
"Nope. Never seen her before in my life." Well what the crap, who is she?
"Ok, I think we're all set... Oh, hey, are you Derek's little sister?" A-HA! That's how I know her!!
"I sure am... I thought you looked familiar!"
She explained who she was and told me her name and then it all clicked into place. She mentioned the friend that recommended Dr Johnson working in the scheduling area and I told her I knew she worked there because Derek had asked her opinion of the doctors. Such a small world! I'm pretty sure between all 3 of my brothers' friends and everyone that Danny knows (can't take him anywhere, I swear) we know just about everyone in this entire city and surrounding area. And we don't live in a small town!
Then we were sent out to the waiting area again, to wait to see the doctor.
"Danny, there's so many older people in here... And there's so many people, PERIOD in here. It's so sad."
"Would you feel better if there were children in here, waiting for chemo?" Ohhh no.
"Oh God, okay, you're right. I  hope I don't ever see that in here. I wouldn't be able to NOT cry."
"Look at it this way, there are a lot of people in this room, but if you look around, everyone here is WITH someone. There isn't anyone in here that looks to me like they're alone. So they don't need pity or sympathy, looks to me like everyone here has support. That's enough to make me happy." Good point.
"That's true... Still sucks though. With THIS many people, just in here TODAY, it really shows you how many people are effected by cancer..."
BZZZZzzzzzzzz BBBBZZZZzzzzzzz Danny's pager went off, which meant it was time to see Dr Johnson.
"Hi, Daniel?"
"That's me."
"Right this way and we will get you set up to meet with Dr Johnson." This nurse seems nice... I wonder if the nurses in the chemo area are just as nice...
We waited in a small room, Danny in the seat next to me instead of on the exam table. It was so quiet that I felt like we should be quiet too.... I fidgeted with Danny's pop bottle. Looked through some paperwork that they had given us. Read up on the info they had listed under Dr Johnson.
"Danny, look at all of this info! Dr Johnson seems like an AMAZING doctor... I'm so glad we got him!"
"Me too, now I just can't wait to see what he says."
"Hopefully he'll say you don't need much chemo, because only one node was effected... and hopefully no radiation!"
"Hopefully..."
We sat around for just a few more minutes before we heard Danny's chart get removed from the box outside of the room.
"Hello! Daniel Crabb?"
"Hello, that's me."
"And are you Mrs. Crabb?"
"Yes. Destiny. Nice to meet you."
"Pleased to meet you. Okay, now that I know who you are, let me take another look at all of your paperwork here..."
He flipped through page after page after page of Danny's chart. I tried to lean over to see what all the papers said, but it just looked like rubbish to me.
"Ok, up on the table you go Daniel. I just need to feel around and then see your incision. And then listen to you breathe. We will go through all of this every time you see me from here on out, and also go over at that time any side effects you are feeling from the chemo. I will be able to tell  you today what you will PROBABLY experience during your treatments, but I will need YOU to tell me, once they start, how you are feeling. If you are experiencing bad side effects, we can lower your dosage or try to find a different medicine that won't effect your day to day life as much."
"Okay. Sounds good."
They went through the deep breathing, he felt on Danny's stomach and looked at his healed incision.
"Okay, everything looks great. Now, you had one node effected, and since your tumor went entirely through the outer wall of the colon, but didn't spread to any organs or tissue, this is stage 3b colon cancer." WHAT?!?! Has anyone mentioned the stage before?! Stage 3b?!?! That sounds BAD. Ohmygosh. Oh no..... Oh NOOOO.
"Since the tumor was so low in your sigmoid colon, I think we should do radiation on top of the chemo. Normally we don't do radiation on colon cancer patients, but here is where your tumor was..." He pointed to a drawing he had just made on some paperwork...
"That part of your colon doesn't move. This other part of your colon moves around and never really stays in one place...." More pointing.... "Since that part of the colon moves, radiation isn't usually necessary. When the tumor is this low, I think radiation is a must. The likelihood of the cancer returning is higher, and radiation should help prevent that." It could come back?!?! I guess that's a given, that's what cancer can do... But, only one node was effected! And Dr Hyder worked his magic and he got it all. We shouldn't have to go through this again!! IT BETTER NOT COME BACK!!!!
"Okay, sounds good. Whatever I need to do to get rid of this, and make sure it doesn't come back, I will do it." Listen to him... He's got his mind set already...
"Okay, my plan for you is the max amount of chemo." MAX AMOUNT?!?!?! But nooooo! Dang it, he's too young, this didn't spread, they GOT IT ALL. Why?!?!?!?!
"You're young and healthy, so you can handle this just fine I'm sure. Remember to tell me how you're feeling at each appointment so we can keep the doses just right for you. Now, we will do twelve rounds of chemo, with a combinations of drugs that together form Folfox, but we will split those twelve rounds up. We will do six rounds, then break and do radiation, then you will have a break from everything for about a month, and then you will finish with your last six rounds... Now, while you are doing radiation, you will ALSO be on chemo at the same time, but you will only be on one drug during that time. Here is what folfox is..." Oh. My. God. Seriously? YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS. Twelve rounds of these drugs... PLUS radiation, AND chemo DURING the radiation?! This is not happening...
Dr Johnson wrote down lots of information about the chemo drugs, then went on to explain the side effects.
"You shouldn't lose your hair. It might thin a little, but it shouldn't fall out. Your main side effect will be tingling and pain in your hands and feet. They may even go numb. Everyone is different, but that side effect is the one that usually causes us to cut chemo short or lower the doses. It all depends on the person though, so please BE SURE to tell me when you experience that side effect, how much it bothers you, and if it is causing problems at work and so on." Danny works on his feet, with his hands, all DANG DAY. That side effect is going to seriously screw things up... UGH!!
"Another side effect is cold intolerance. I don't mean you will FEEL cold. I mean you won't be able to HANDLE cold things. You will NEED to either not get ANYTHING out of the freezer, or use gloves. When you go outside in the winter and go to open your car door, WEAR GLOVES. You won't be able to eat and drink cold beverages and foods. Don't put ice in your drinks. All of the cold sensations will feel like BURNING sensations to you. If you grab something out of the freezer, it will feel like you stuck your hand into flames. Drinking cold beverages will sting like you can't imagine. After that side effect kicks in, you won't forget to take those precautions. Feeling those sensations will force those precautions into your mind." Danny always ALWAYS has a cold pop on hand. And winter is coming, how is this going to work?! I HATE CHEMO!!!!!!
"Now, do you two have kids?" Oh no... here it goes....
"Not together, no. I have one from my previous marriage."
"Are you planning on having kids together?"
"YES."
"Okay, well, this chemo drug itself doesn't prevent you from having kids. It won't cause infertility. It can cause birth defects, so they warn you not to get pregnant while on the drug. And, then there's the radiation. The radiation will kill all of your sperm for up to two years. And POSSIBLY forever. We recommend that everyone who will have radiation in that area go to a sperm bank..." and blah blah blah blah blah. It's probably time to tell him about the problem Danny found thanks to Dr Google.
Danny took that time (and read my mind?) and told him about the possible complication from the surgery.
"Okay, well then we will push back your chemo until you meet with a uroligist. If you want kids together, you HAVE to do this before chemo can start, otherwise the sperm may never come back and you won't have the opportunity again. Just a second, let me call up Dr Hyder." Push back chemo?? Is that even safe??
Dr Johnons got on the phone with his nurse, who transferred him to Dr Hyder. He talked to Dr Hyder for a few minutes, and it sounded like they both had the same urologist in mind.
"Okay, Dr Hyder agrees with me, you should see Dr Gilbaugh. I will call him now..." If Dr Hyder is one of the best in the state, and Dr Johnson is one of the best in the state, and they BOTH recommend this doctor... surely that means HE is one of the best in the state, too.... Right??
"Okay, I've got you all set up to meet with him to figure out what you can do about fertility preservation. They will send you the paperwork and call you to set up the actual appointment depending on your schedule. We need to get you in for a CT scan in a couple weeks, for a before chemo scan. So that way next year we will have a scan to compare with. Then, once you've got your future children frozen at the sperm bank, however that happens, you can start chemo." This is all happening so fast.... And should he really WAIT to start chemo???
"Is it okay to wait that long to start chemo?" I had to ask... I want kids, but I have to have A HUSBAND to help me raise our kids! Duh!
"Oh yes, there is plenty of time. They usually say to wait no longer than about 90 days from surgery to start chemo. So that's the end of September. It's the first week of August now, this will all be taken care quickly, and he can start the chemo in September and will be fine. I do want to make sure you know this chemo and radiation is just a preventative though. All the bloodwork looks great. These steps are just to be sure the cancer won't come back."  Right, because it's stage 3B cancer.... which sounds absolutely terrifying...
"Now, you're all set up to get your port put in for chemo, correct?"
"Yes, in a few weeks. I also have my wisdom teeth removed in two weeks."
"Wow, you're a busy guy. Well, just call our office and let us know when the urologist is done with you, and then we'll set up chemo appointments. Let's walk out and schedule your CT scan..."
We got to the scheduler's desk, and that's when I seen my brother's friend who recommended Dr Johnson in the beginning. I talked with her for a few minutes, and then it was time to go.
"I'm starving.... Let's go to lunch before you go back to work." Work? Oh, right. I have to go back to work... I'm not even hungry... Stage 3b cancer.... Urologist... Radiation will kill Danny's sperm... Stage 3b cancer... Stage 3b cancer... I NEED A COMPUTER SO I CAN LOOK ALL OF THIS  UP!!!!!!
We went to Taco Bell, and I picked at my food. My phone was going crazy with people texting, wanting to know what happened at the oncologist appointment... I told my mom that I would tell her when I got back to work. I told Wendy what the doctor said...
"He said since it went through the outer wall, and effected one node, that it's stage 3b."
"Oh no... I'm so sorry..." Uhhh... sorry? So it IS bad, then?!?!? I NEED TO GET TO MY COMPUTER!!! My phone's internet isn't fast enough!!
"Wait, I just looked it up... I know stage 3 for breast cancer is bad. Stage 3 for colon cancer still has a great survival rate. Don't freak out!!!" Oh thank you Dr Google. Finally a good answer!!!!
Danny and I didn't talk much at lunch, and then he dropped me off at work. My mom was outside on the bench and as soon as Danny pulled out of the parking lot, I started bawling. I couldn't hold it in anymore, I was overwhelmed and I just couldn't do it. I threw myself onto the bench next to my mom and I told her all about EVERYTHING. The stage 3b diagnosis. How he has to have ALL of this chemo AND radiation. How radiation will KILL our chances of having kids, and how because of this STUPID complication, we have to go see a urologist before we can even THINK about being able to have kids SOMEDAY with frozen sperm.
"Destiny, it will be okay. I promise you, it will all be fine. Listening to everything you've said, it all makes perfect sense. Yes, the staging is scary. But do some research on it before you get carried away because of the number. And the radiation MAY kill your chances of having kids, but you WILL bank sperm before this treatment starts. Your doctor said there's plenty of time for it. So, it's ALL going to be fine. Are you okay?" I just needed her to tell me it would all be okay. Because, magically, I was fine. I had to throw it all out there and break down, and now I could build myself back on up.
"Okay. Yeah. I'm fine. Let's go inside, it's hot out here and my head hurts now... And I need to get on the computer..." We went inside and my mom disappeared.
I did some research, and the survival rate of stage 3b colon cancer wasn't GREAT. But, the survival rate of stage 3b patients with only ONE node effected were MUCH better than those with 3 effected. Also, the tumor hadn't spread to nearby organs. The abscess prevented it from spreading to his bladder, so I slowly started REALLY believing that things would be okay. Dr Johnson's reminder that this was all PREVENTATIVE kept ringing in my head. I just had to keep reminding myself that's all this was. So it won't come back and we won't have to go through all of this again...
My mom came charging into my work area...
"Okay, I talked to Jake and he called his sister in law..." His sister in law is one of the BEST ob/gyn's in the state, she does high risk pregnancies and did I mention she's one of the best??
"Okay???"
"She said you HAVE to go to a Dr... Oh what's his name, I wrote it down.... Gilbaugh. She said he's the best of the best and so THAT is who you  need to go to. Who did your oncologist refer you to?"
"Dr Gilbaugh..."
"Oh!!! Well, PERFECT!! See, you just keep lucking out with all the best doctors don't you?"
"That's the truth!"
I was really starting to feel good about things. We were back from our honeymoon and things were getting serious and going fast... but it wasn't the end of the world. For every little bit of bad news, we got even more GOOD news. We could do this. We could do ALL of this, together. We had an amazing team of doctors and surgeons on our side, and so many friends and family members... Everything would be okay!!


That's all for today. Tomorrow I will talk about Danny's wisdom teeth removal and meeting with Dr Gilbaugh. Please remember to follow and SHARE!! Thanks so much for reading!!! :)