And so it begins...

So I started this blog yesterday. I posted a link on Facebook, hoping a few friends would read it and share it with others. I was quickly overwhelmed with the AMAZING response from my fabulous friends and loved ones. They shared, commented, "liked" my post. I was brought to tears by many.
As I was sitting here on our couch, my phone went off with a few text messages. I finished the email I was in the middle of and checked my phone. I read the texts, all from one of my best friends. With tears streaming down my face, I handed the phone over to Danny. I'm sure he thought the worst, but one thing he knows about me, one thing that EVERYONE knows about me, is that I cry over EVERYTHING. Good, bad, happy, sad. It all makes me cry. So he read the text messages, and was relieved it wasn't some sort of awful news I'm sure :)
I won't quote the entire text, but it basically said that a fundraiser has been in the works for a bit. This friend has shared our story with many people (and she knows MANY people) and a group of people she used to work with is planning a bake sale... with the proceeds going to us! She has been doing all of this without saying a word to me about it. I had no clue! I was so touched, I felt so honored. And immediately wanted to help with it. I know so many people who bake, and I knew they'd be willing to help. I told her this and she was pretty excited. And then she went and made me laugh, which helped dry my tears. That's kind of her specialty... she should really be a comedian, but her calling was to teach instead. I guess I can understand that :)
I woke up this morning and checked our Facebook. I had a message on there from yet ANOTHER dear friend who had a fundraising idea. A game night/poker game! What!! AWESOME idea! I am so excited for this, and had a few ideas to add to what she had already come up with. She has already contacted a ton of venues, and I'm hoping she can find a place that is CHEAP since she wants to pay for the rental. She doesn't need to go broke for us :)
So, I felt I needed to update everyone on Facebook about the plans that were in the works. SO many people offered to help with baking. Others sent messages with more ideas for the game night. One friend offered up some items for a raffle/silent auction. I was completely overwhelmed again. Some of these amazing people who are so willing to help are people who are friends of Danny's who I've never met, or only met briefly. Others are friends who I have known since I was 4 and who I can always count on. Others still, are friends who I don't talk to or hang out with often. And they're all still so willing to give what the can, even if that's just their time (which I appreciate just as much as anything else! I know time is precious!). I've never lost hope through the last two and a half years, that I can tell you honestly. BUT, I've never been so positive. I've never felt THIS MUCH hope.
To everyone reading this, everyone following, everyone offering to help in ANY way: You all amaze me. I am so thankful for each and every one of you. You give me more hope than I thought possible. You fill my heart with such warmth. I can never thank you enough, really.

So, as of right now, the fundraisers that are in the works are:
Bake Sale in February some time
Game Night/Poker Tournament in March/April
A Quartermania some time after that, that's still in the VERY early planning stages
A Zumba fundraiser when my cousin (she's an amazing instructor!) comes to town
A Scentsy fundraiser, which will begin as soon as I get around to figuring it all out with Tonya :)
I will update here and on Facebook with fundraiser updates and plans. I am SO excited about all of this!!

So, that was the easy, fun and exciting part of today's entry... Now on to the rought part... The day we found out about Danny's tumor.... ahhh... It's now or never though, so here goes!


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Danny hadn't been feeling too great for a couple days. He had told me (AFTER the wedding) that he thought it was just nerves about the Big Day. My response to that was, jokingly, "And you didn't think to TELL ME you were feeling like that?!" We had a good laugh, but it quickly got serious. Danny is very in tune with his health and knew something wasn't right. He had decided he would go to the doctor if he didn't feel better in the following days.
That Thursday, June 18, began as they usually did. Danny dropped me off at work and went to work himself. I spent the morning casing some instruments and planning our shore excursions for our honeymoon cruise which was booked for the following month. I wanted to swim with dolphins, he wanted to feed sting rays. We both wanted to tour the Mayan Ruins. He mentioned a Zip Line at one of the ports. I was checking prices, reviews, etc. Then he called my cell phone. I figured he was just calling on break to see how the plans were going. Nope...
Danny was experiencing severe abdominal pain. Severe for him is basically unbearable for the average person, his pain tolerance is insane. So, after talking to his boss, he decided he should go to the ER. "We think it's my appendix, and that's not something to mess around with..." So, he said he was driving to my work to pick me up, and we would head to the hospital.
I did what any daughter would do... I ran to my mommy :) We worked together and her office was just around the corner from my work area. I wasn't worried at the time. Told her what was going on. She told me to take her car, as the ride would be less bumpy. I remember asking "Do you think we can still go on the cruise, if he has to have surgery?" Her response was positive of course "Oh yeah, he will be in and out of surgery and he will be fine." Okay, that made me feel even better.
So Danny got to my work, looking pale and in pain. I didn't feel so positive at that point. We loaded up in my mom's car and headed to the hospital. There was nobody else in the waiting room, but we still had to wait a few minutes of course. We were checking in and tried to hand the guy our insurance card. "No no no. I can't take that, I can't even see it actually..." HUH?! He said they take the insurance info later, after being seen/treated. To be sure people aren't getting special treatment depending on insurance coverage. We thought that was a pretty good idea, and we put the insurance card away.
A nurse came out to get us, she was sweet and chatty. We both instantly liked her. She asked about symptoms, etc.
"Blood in your stool?"
"Well, yes. But I've had that for years. My doctor said it wasn't something to worry about..."
"WHO is your doctor?"
"Well, NOW it's Dr. ____. At the time it was Dr. ____,  but she was out of town and I seen Dr. ____."
"That's not something that should ever be ignored. That's so aggravating. Ok, here is the room. Have a seat...."
This entire time my panic level was rising... Could these symptoms that his doctor wrote off years ago have something to do with this abdominal pain?? This is just his appendix, right? PLEASE just be his appendix!! I knew about Danny's symptoms, and that he'd gone to the doctor before we'd ever met about them. That doctor had told Danny he was fine. Did a quick physical exam and just wrote it off. Danny asked for a colonoscopy at the time, but since he was in his early 30's, the doctor refused. Said he was too young. Danny's grandma had colon cancer but that wasn't "immediate family" so it wasn't something to be concerned about. Could that doctor have been wrong?
They keep hospitals so cold and I was shivering out of panic on top of what felt like hypothermia. Danny didn't look concerned. So I just tried to stay calm like he was. He wasn't worried? Ok, then I'm not worried.... Yeah right...
The pain he was experiencing was intense. They took some blood to run tests on, and hooked him up to an IV. Gave him fluids and pain medicine. The pain medicine wasn't working so they gave him a higher dose. The result was Danny running to the bathroom to throw up. He hadn't eaten all day so that basically consisted of him dry heaving... for quite a while. The nurse came in, seen me alone, asked if everything was okay. "He's in there, throwing up... I decided to stay in here." She said she understood, we laughed about it. She said the doctor would be in shortly.
Danny came back in the room, not looking any better. I could not understand what the HECK was taking so long. HELLO, there wasn't anyone in the waiting room. WHERE is the doctor... I think I may have voiced that to Danny, which I'm sure didn't help him. But sheesh, I was anxious! The doctor came in, said Danny's bloodwork was fine. It wasn't his appendix.
"From all of the symptoms, I would say you probably have Irritable Bowel Syndrome." Uhhh, no. I do NOT think this type of pain would be caused by IBS, and I said so.
"Well, let's do a quick physical exam while I'm in here... Daniel, do you want her to stay in here?"
"She's my wife, she can stay..." To which I replied "For better or worse, huh?" Ever the funny man, he joked "Bet you didn't realize you would have to hold those vows up this early in the marriage, did ya?" We laughed, and the nurse asked how long we'd been married.
"Since Saturday..."
"As in five days ago?!"
"YEP."
She then congratulated us, wanted to hear about our wedding. What colors did we go with. Did we have a lot of people there. Bridal party size. She was sweet and really helped get my mind off of things.
The doctor's exam was over, he said everything felt fine. Since Danny was still in so much pain, he decided to go ahead and order a CT scan. FINALLY. An answer would surely come soon. It's about time you ordered that scan, doctor.
They wheeled Danny off. He got to cruise aroud in a wheel chair with the super sweet nurse pushing him around. I stared around the room, waiting for him to get back. I got my phone out, tried to text my mom and tell her what was going on. No reception, of course... I remember thinking how big the room was, how white the walls were.
Before long Danny was back. He was laying back on the bed trying to relax, and I was sitting on the chair across the room. I was keyed up, anxious, worried, scared... really I was wishing they could give ME something in an IV. No such luck, as it were.
The doctor came in, after what seemed like hours... Our favorite nurse followed behind him, head down. The doctor was talking, and I didn't hear a word. I was focused on that nurse. She had looked up and tears were streaming down her face. Not good not good not good not good. Did I mention that this was NOT GOOD? Time to tune in to the conversation!! The CT scan showed a large tumor in his sigmoid colon. He has a WHAT in his WHERE?! What does that mean? Cancer? What do we do now? WHAT DO WE DO?!?!?! Oh, the doctor is still talking. I couldn't find my voice anyway, it was gone. The doctor said he had called our doctor, and that he had recommended Danny go see Dr Hyder. They were calling him now to schedule a consult. The doctor left the room and the nurse apologized profusely for losing her cool. She said she could no longer be our nurse. Someone else would come to remove his IV and everything. My first thought was DON'T LEAVE US, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE US. But she did.
And then we had to face it. There we were, in a freezing cold, boring white room in the hospital... and we had just been delivered news that would change everything. I rushed to the bed, climbed right on up there next to my husband. It was still weird to even CALL him my husband, and all I could think about was losing him. I could not, I WOULD NOT lose him. And then he decided to talk...
"You shouldn't have to go through this... I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have to deal with this. You should be able to enjoy your marriage, not have to deal WITH THIS. I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry." WHAT. THE DKFJ;SDKF;AIUHAG. Did he think I would rather have someone else, because he had a tumor in his... in his WHAT?! I couldn't even remember where. Oh, right. His colon. Mother EFFER. I was TICKED. I remember GLARING at him. We had been snuggled up on that uncomfortable bed and I sat up and GLARED at him.
"Don't you EVEN DARE talk like that. I love you. We will figure this out. It might not be as bad as they say. We've got this. You'll be fine. We will be fine. You'll be fine..."
I'm not sure if it was my look (it could melt ice I'm sure), or if it was my words.... but something worked. Something in him changed. I could feel it. It's like the room was charged with his energy.
"I've got this. I will fight it. I will do whatever I have to do. I can handle it. We can handle it. We've got this. I love you so much."
We were still alone in that room, nobody bothering us. Sitting on that lumpy bed. And I realized it was our night to have his daughter. I needed to call Wendy, see if she could keep her. I needed to call my mom. I needed to call his mom, and oh look, there was a phone on the wall...
I tried to call his mom, and it went to voicemail. I'm not sure the message I left was even coherent. I started out fine and then completely LOST IT.
I called Wendy, and completley lost it with her too. She said "Hey, HEY. Stop that. You can't do that. In Danny's words, 'don't worry until you have to.'" She said she would get Faith from daycare and keep her that night, and to keep her updated. I told her I had tried to get ahold of Vickie but got her voicemail, and she said she would make some calls and make sure she was filled in.
I called my mom, I was better by that point but nowhere near my usual chirpy self. She told me that this stranger named Dr Hyder was great. She wanted updated as soon as we learned more, but to try not to worry.
We sat there for quite a while longer. Evidently when you get news like that, the doctors and nurses know to leave you the heck alone for a while. Thank goodness.
Eventually OUR nurse came in. God bless her, she was who we needed. A familiar face, even when we had only met her a couple hours before. She had talked to Dr Hyder's office and they would work Danny in that afternoon. We should head straight there from the hospital. She mentioned how upset she was that Danny's first doctor had brushed his symptoms off and that she and her fellow nurses would keep that doctor's name in mind, and that they were very angry. That nurse has a special place in my heart... and I don't even know her name. I am positive she told us what it was, but that day was NOT the day to learn names. I wish I could send her a Thank You card. Even after all this time, she is still a bright spot in my mind. She helped us more than she knows.
The next person that came in was a person (I have no idea if it was a man or woman... details details haha) that took our insurance card. They left, and in walked Danny's mom. She hugged us both. She cried. She hugged us again. She knew of Dr Hyder too. He was Grandma Lady's surgeon! She talked him up so much that I was slowly starting to feel better. By this time it was late afternoon. I had had breakfast, Danny hadn't eaten anything. They told us to go straight to Dr Hyder's office, that Danny shouldn't eat anything. So we left the hospital, starving, worried, scared and frozen like popsicles...

We followed Vickie to Dr Hyder's office, she knew the way. We walked  in to this small waiting room that was packed full. I assumed that meant that he was THAT GREAT of a doctor, if all of these people insisted on seeing him. I was so right!
We walked into the consult room, after a bit of a wait. Dr Hyder looked over all of the paperwork. Looked at the CT scan results... Talked to us about how long we'd been married. Joked about fixing Danny right up so we could get back to being newlyweds, and winked. I blushed bright red and Dr Hyder and Danny both laughed hysterically. We had been joking quite a bit before that, and to know that he felt comfortable enough to joke with us made me so happy.
Dr Hyder looked at the scan results again and said he wanted to do a physical exam. Vickie left the room and I held Danny's hand... more for my sake than anything. He is so tough, he didn't need me. The exam was over and Dr Hyder said he wanted to do a colonoscopy the next day. He thought he should've been able to feel this tumor, and he couldn't. So, a scope was needed.
We checked out, got a bottle full of pills and instructions on the prep. Danny couldn't eat... Seriously, he hadn't eaten ALL DAY and he couldn't eat?!?!?! Oh, he could have jello, and broth. BROTH. Ugh!!
We went home, Danny started on the pills. I went to the grocery store and got him some broth and jello. I got some macaroni for me and ate it in the car before I got home. I heated up his "dinner," and Danny took about 2 sips. The broth, mixed with those pills, didn't end up well. He went to the bathroom to throw it all up (sorry, gross I know). I then called the doctor, asked if he needed to do something else since he just threw up all of these pills he had just taken. Nope. He was fine. Take the rest, stay hydrated and get on with the night. We were baffled by this, but hey, he was right.
Danny napped in between pills, since they made him so nauseous. And he finished the prep. We went to bed and were both too exhausted to stay up and worry. There was plenty of time for that later, and we were trying to stay positive...

So ends my post for today. If you want to know how the next day went, you'll have to come back tomorrow. Maybe by then I will even have our PayPal linked in to this page! Wishful thinking, I know :)
Thanks for reading!!