But, yet... Here we are. I guess technically it's Sunday so, 6 1/2 weeks left. Pardon me while I go throw up! Everyone keeps asking if I'm ready to be done being pregnant. If I'm just so ready for her to be here. Am I ready for her to be here? Well, yes. Of course I am. BUT I also am just still not of the mind that I will have to share her yet. Right now people can feel her from the outside but I'm the only that feels her constantly. The one that feels all the little jabs (and all the uncomfortable feelings). I'm the one that feels the weird sensations from the inside out. I love her and she loves me and I don't know why anyone else ever ever ever needs to touch her... Unless they want to change her diaper. I could hand over that duty... haha. But really, I KNOW that feeling will change. I KNOW that I will get to a point that I WANT help and need it and I will want to hand her over so I can take care of myself. But at this moment, I don't see that happening. I just don't. And it sort of kills me to think I have to share her. Even with Danny! She is his daughter too, and I KNOW he wants to help with everything with her... And all I can think is "they better hand her to me first... They better not try to hand her to anyone else but me... They better let me be the first to touch her. He cuts the cord, BUT I GET TO TOUCH HER." How selfish is that? Yeah. I'm a selfish person. I never thought I'd feel like this. But the thought of someone else getting to hold her first kills me. I know that if I have to have a C-section, that I will OBVIOUSLY WANT Danny to hold her first. I can't, and she needs a parent to hold her first. And I will love seeing him hold her. But. If I can hold her first? Well, I want to...
Am I just so done being pregnant? No.... No I'm not. It's been a rough one. Not as easy as so many people make it seem. I hurt, my back hurts, I have this new leg tingling thing, the nausea is back randomly, it's hard to breathe... And yet, I just don't feel that "get her OUT" feeling yet that so many people talk about. I love the bond we have with her in me. I love putting my hand on my stomach and feeling her move to it to feel the warmth. Or kick it if my hand is cold. I love having her in my belly and knowing that, for right now, she's ALL MINE. Yeah, her Daddy is still her favorite... You can tell by the way she listens to him already. But, she's mine. Mine mine mine.
So many people complain about random people touching their bellies. I am fortunate and I haven't had to deal with that. EVERYONE that has touched my bump has asked first. And I don't have a problem with it. I know girls say "if you didn't put it here, don't touch it." Well, I suppose I could say that, too.... But.... A TON of people helped get her in here... A TON. So. My belly is open. I KNOW I'd feel different if some random stranger walked up to me and rubbed on my belly. But, that hasn't happened yet. So I'm a lucky one. Maybe I don't look inviting. I don't know. And I don't care. I like things the way they've gone and I hope they stay that way...
Everyone knows I've been a little miserable during these months. But, these last couple months have been blissful. I am more tired now than I was in first tri... But other than that, there are times I seriously forget I'm pregnant. I've been asked MULTIPLE times "So how far along are you?" or "When are you due?" And it takes me a second to realize these people are talking to me and that I AM PREGNANT and that I need to respond with the correct answer. One time I looked at the lady like she had lost her mind and said "I'm sorry, what?" And Danny touched my belly and said "She wants to know how many months you have left babe." Oh. Oh YEAH. I'm pregnant!!! DUH!!! Can I blame that on pregnancy brain? Or is that an infertility thing? You go for so long thinking it will probably never happen and you give up home and now that it IS HAPPENING it just doesn't seem like real life?
But it is real life... Really real life. We did maternity pictures today. MATERNITY PICTURES. Yeah, you read that right. We still have some more to take, indoor ones that we will do next weekend. But we did maternity pics! Faith had a great time with them, and her favorite part was all the pics she took by herself (yeah, she even admitted it LOL). I think I already know which pic is my favorite, so far... And it's a pic that doesn't show my face. HAHA!! I can't wait to see the finished product!! The pics were done by Crystal with Professor Photo. Sound familiar? Oh yeah... she did our fundraiser!! She ALSO is the one who put together our multiple garage sale fundraisers. AND she took over the cupcakes fundraiser when my regular cupcake-fundraiser-friend moved away. She has had a HUGE HAND in getting this baby in my belly. And she just keeps giving. Maternity pics now, and BIRTH STORY PICS when I'm giving birth!! :) She's so amazing!!
My last post mentioned how awful that day was with prego brain. Today my day has been awful because I AM SO COMPLETELY UNCOORDINATED RIGHT NOW. I'm not used to that. No, I'm generally not the most coordinated person on the planet... But this goes above and beyond the normal. We were getting around for pictures (and running just a couple minutes late) and I was helping Faith with her hair, in her room. She asked to see one of the charms in my charm necklace and I couldn't show her without opening up the locket. Instead of using my brain and thinking "I should take this off first..." I just plopped it into my palm and opened it... And OF COURSE a charm fell out. Which one? The July birthstone, meant for Ryssa. Cue instant tears that I had to control... I showed Faith the other side of the charm she'd asked about, and then she and I got on our hands and knees to look for the stone... No luck. I decided I would just have to buy a new one, and I got up and went to find a different shirt to wear (note, I never did find the tank top I had in my head... whatever. It's gone forever somewhere and I wore a different one lol). Danny saw my face and knew I was upset about something so I told him that I was an IDIOT and opened my locket while wearing it, thinking if anything fell out it would land in my hand... and it didn't. So, he stopped getting ready and went into Faith's room to look for it. And sure enough, my amazing husband found it. I do NOT know how. But he's always the finder of lost things. Always.
SO we got ready, running a bit late, and ran to my parents' house. I needed to get a dress for Ryssa for pictures, and I needed to get my earrings that I'd let my niece borrow... We got there and I tried to put my earrings in... And I couldn't get them in. My dad offered to help but we were running late and I said no, that I would just try again in the car.... And I did. And I still couldn't get them in. So what do I do? I assume that my hole in my right ear is just too closed up for my bigger bulkier earring, and that I should just use Faith's earring since it's real gold anyway. So I ask to borrow her earring, which she promptly takes out... With me repeatedly telling her not to drop it or the back and to be careful... She didn't drop it. She handed it to me and I tried, unsuccessfully to get THAT earring in my ear. I finally gave up. We were parked so I asked Faith to get close so I could put her earring back in (she can take them out but can't put them back in)... And I try for a second and KER-PLUNK, I drop it. We searched and searched and couldn't find it. So Faith and I got out of the car and went to chat with Crystal and her hubby and kids while Danny looked for the lost earring... While standing around I tried AGAIN to get my earring in... Nope... So I just took my other earring out and gave up... And guess what? DANNY FOUND FAITH'S EARRING. Finder of all lost things I tell you!!
We did our pictures and then hung out for a while chatting, and then left the park. When we got home I got out my good earrings. And I tried AGAIN to get something through that stinkin' ear. No. Such. Luck. I had Danny help me.
"It's closed. I can see where the hole WAS. But, this won't go through. It's going to hurt. It's CLOSED." Just push it through dang it!!
"It's fine, it doesn't hurt... Just keep stabbing."
"Does this hurt?" Maybe a little....
"Nope, keep trying."
He asked if I had a piercing stud and I remembered that Faith did in her drawer of earrings. I asked Faith for her earrings and she brought them out, and the earrings I thought were the piercing studs really didn't look very sharp. BUT they were thinner since they were a children's earring. Danny tried to push it through. It wasn't working...
"Should I go get one of the needles from my fertility med box?"
"NO. No you should not..." Well, it would be sharper than these earrings are!! Geez!
"Alright...."
"This is gonna hurt..." It already does, ouch.
POP
"There, it's through. Keep this earring in for a while and let your ear calm down before you take this out and put your own in it..." Ouch ouch ouch. I'm not touching that ear.
That's my day TODAY and it's not even over... Yesterday was a bad day for Danny. He worked his tush off moving stuff around and setting up the internet in the living room instead of the computer room (which is now the nursery). And then he got to painting. He took a break and my cat snuck into the room and got into the paint... Yep, little tiny cat paw prints were ALL OVER the floor. He was mad... But the cat survived. I cleaned her painted paws up (while bleeding because she didn't WANT to be cleaned up), and all is well....
And THEN, while moving my dresser, he realized too late that my mirror wasn't attached... And BOOM goes the mirror. Broken into pieces. :( Which upset ME because I've had that set for ever... And ticked him off because he did it.
But you know what? HE FINISHED IT. Well, not finished up to his standards. But the paint is ON THE WALLS and I love love love love love it!!! He is going to go back through and do whatever it is he thinks needs done. But after working so long and hard on it yesterday/last night, he won't be doing anything else in there today. He deserves a break! :)
Everything is really coming together now. Other than blinds/curtains and a bookshelf, we've got everything we need!! Our crib came in (thanks to the gift cards from our family and friends). My friend Denna gave us the high chair. I ordered the crib mattress with another gift card. I ordered the stroller thanks to the money given to us at the shower. And last but not least, I put off ordering the swing/bouncer combo because I wanted it to go on sale... I started a Target registry because I found one there I liked and I had some gift cards for there to use. I knew I could start the registry and they'd give me a coupon code to use to get 10% off... So I was waiting for that... Then what did I get in the mail? Not the 10% off coupon... BUT A $20 GIFT CARD FROM TARGET for starting the registry. Thank you very much. I got online and signed up for the baby deals on their site and I got a 10% off code for an online order. So... Thanks to gift cards from family and Target, and the coupon code, I saved almost $100!!!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?! Sometimes (rarely) it pays off to procrastinate!
Time for the weekly update that I have been slacking on... Just know that week 32 was the same as this week, k? :)
How Far Along: 33 weeks
Total Weight Gain: Negative one... Doc says that's fine though because MY TESTING CAME BACK FINE and I "just have good genes." :)
Maternity Clothes: Still wearing what I've got and all the cozy clothes and I have some clothes from my sister in law :)
Stretch Marks: So far so good!
Sleep: I now know the term pregnancy insomnia. I get to sleep just fine, but I wake up and stay up and can't get back to sleep for hours... Stinks.
Best Moment This Week: Doing the maternity pics and Ryssa getting the hiccups while Faith and Danny had their hands on my belly. PERFECT timing!! haha
Miss Anything: Umm... I'm good, thanks!
Movement: I feel her a lot less often (doc says that's because she's sleeping more and more) but when I do, WHOA, she's stronger than ever!!
Food Cravings: Ice cream, strawberry banana smoothie, chocolate covered strawberries, brownies, chocolate cake with chocolate icing... Do I need to keep going? Of all of those cravings, I've only caved on the ice cream. And that's because my doc TOLD me to eat ice cream to help with the weight and because it's got calcium!
Anything Making You Queasy or Sick: I get nauseous when I eat too fast/too much/too heavy... And then some other random times.
Gender: A wonderfully amazing baby GIRL, Ryssa
Labor Signs: Nope, unless you count Braxton Hicks?
Symptoms: A growing baby bump ;)
Belly Button In or Out: The top part, that was pierced, sticks out. But the rest is in. It's weird.
Wedding Rings On or Off: On and still loose unless I am hot and swollen
Happy or Moody Most of the Time: Happy unless you tick me off. Then I stay mad at you for... ever. >>same
Looking Forward To: Seeing the maternity pics, and finishing up the nursery!!
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