And he says all the right things

Time to blog it up again!!

Fundraiser updates....

The Mary Kay fundraiser has come to an end! We ended up getting $125 from the orders we got! We got a great percentage of the sales, but not as many orders as we wanted. So, we may be doing this again in a few months. I expect more of you followers to order ;) Really, I'm still super happy with the $125!!

The Easter Cupcake Event is CANCELLED. We were wanting it to be A HUGE event, but, sometimes that's just not possible. Like this time. My wonderful friend and cupcake baker is down for the count with a torn ligament in her knee. Having knee problems myself, I know how awful that feels and how IMPORTANT it is to follow doctor's orders and stay off of it until the appropriate all-clear date. Hopefully she heals up well and will be up to going through with the May Day Cupcake Event because she had some great ideas for it :) Her health comes first though, so we don't want her to push it!!

I'm not sure if I mentioned the approximate day for the Zumba fundraiser... I don't have an exact date but it will DEFINITELY be in the first half of June. I'm so excited about it!!

Also the Scentsy fundraiser is still going!! I seen some new burners at the Cut-A-Thon that I absolutely fell in love with, so if you haven't looked at a catalog lately, you should go check out the site. There's so much there, and lots of new OTHER things too. You'll have to go check it out to see what I'm talking about :)

I think that's all the updates I have for now... So... Now on to our story.

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It was the day after Danny's third chemo treatment and he was already not feeling well. We both went to work that day, as usual, but Danny had very little energy and felt like a sinus infection was coming on. We had some quick running around to do after work before he headed to school and I wasn't sure Danny was going to be up to it. When he picked me up, I had to be sure.
"Babe, the trip to the store can probably wait."
"No, it can't. Dahlia hasn't been drinking, like you said. We need to get her that kitten milk and force it down her. It's a quick trip in the store, it's fine."
"I could probably go myself if you want to nap for a bit before class."
"There isn't enough time for a good nap, I would just be more tired. We're going to the pet store, I'm fine, I promise."
So off we went to the pet supply store to get some kitten milk in hopes of getting Dahlia hydrated against her wishes.
Danny was right and it was a quick trip inside the store and we were home just a few minutes later than we would normally be.

I'm going to stop right here with our story. I thought I could blog about that day, and what happened next. But I can't. It hurts. I can't and won't walk you all through all of the events and emotions. I will give you a run-through though.
We got home and Dahlia was in very bad shape. Since Danny had school (and really couldn't miss since he figured he'd probably miss later once chemo really screwed him up), my mom and I took Dahlia to the vet. She passed away in my arms before we could get to the vet.
We'd talked to my family a lot about Dahlia and her medical mystery problems that we'd been treating her for since we got her, and some amazing family members had offered part of their land up to any of our pets when "that time" came. That time had arrived, much too early, and they were the ones that got the next phone call. They were amazing and wrapped her up and buried her for me, next to my brother's dog, Cinnamon. (Keith, Darla... I could never thank you enough for all you did for me that day. LOVE YOU BOTH!!)

I was an obvious mess. I'd never lost a pet before, and I wasn't ready. Dahlia was just a kitten, and yes she'd been sick since we got her, she still deserved more of a life. She deserved many years with us. We deserved many years with her. I didn't handle it well, to put it mildly.
Danny came home from school and had to take care of me, even though he wasn't feeling well from his chemo and the infection he felt setting in. He still held me and let me cry. He understood my feelings and grief and didn't downplay it. I was sad. And then I got mad.
"Why? Why her? Why us?"
"She was sick babe. We knew that from the get go. She's not sick anymore." Ugh. This isn't FAIR.
"We went to TWO vets. They should've done something different!"
"They both tried different things. They did the best they could." Their best wasn't good enough!!
"I will NEVER go back to EITHER of those vets. They aren't good enough for our pets. They weren't good enough for Dahlia."
"That's fine, we don't have to go back there. To either vet. We can go somewhere else from now on." This just seriously SUCKS.
"I hate this, so much. I hate it. I miss her already."
"I know you do." THIS SUCKS.
"Maybe we should've done more for her. Gone somewhere else."
"We did the best we could. We had her on meds from the time we noticed a problem. We took her to two vets. We thought we were taking care of the problem. We did everything that was within our power." And all of that did NOTHING.
"And it still didn't keep her alive..."
"No, it didn't. But, she probably lasted longer for US than she would've at the humane society. And I know for A FACT that she felt more love during the two months she was with us than she did when she was in that silver cage waiting for someone to adopt her. She had a family that loved her and took care of her and made her short life worth living." And he says all the right things.
"I hate this..."
"I know babe. I know." And he's probably going to get sick of hearing it.
"I hate ALL of this. I hate that you have to have chemo. I hate that you feel like crap from the chemo. I hate that you are tired because it's taking such a toll on you. I hate that you are getting a sinus infection because your immune system sucks, thanks to the stupid chemo. And I HATE that my kitten isn't here to snuggle with me while I sit here hating everything!!!!"
"I hate it all too." And here he is, supporting me when I should be helping him get through these days of feeling like crap. Helping him when he has no energy. But what energy he does have, he is using to wipe my tears and comfort me. I suck. THIS SUCKS. I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!
I fell asleep hating the world and (almost) everything in it.


And that's all for today. I promise I didn't stay hating the world forever, and my next blog won't be nearly as sad. Please remember to SHARE SHARE SHARE!! Thanks for reading!!!