Time for another post!! WOOHOO!!! :) Today's post isn't about me. Although I relate, oh so much, this is a guest post from a blog reader. A fellow "cancer spouse." Reading his post, I couldn't help but think of that saying "If everyone threw their problems in a pile and we saw everyone else's, we'd grab our's back." I thought we had it bad. And yeah, it was tough. It still is! But, here we are. This story I'm posting today has a happy ending, too, don't fret! But they sure had a rough go of it!
This post says more than I can. So we'll get right to it!
What I Learned As A Caregiver: Never Give Up
My wife Heather was diagnosed with a cancer called malignant pleural mesothelioma in 2005. Our first child, Lily, was only three months old at the time. It felt like the end of the world. Instead of preparing for Lily’s first Christmas as planned, we began a long, difficult journey to save Heather’s life.
The doctor who diagnosed Heather offered three treatment options. We could visit a specialist in Boston or go with either a local university hospital or a regional hospital. My wife was in shock, and her eyes pleaded for help, so it was up to me. I chose the specialist, and that was my first decision that marked the beginning of my role as a caregiver.
Our structured life dissolved into chaos. Before the diagnosis, we had both worked full time. Now Heather could no longer work, and I could only work part-time in order to care for her and Lily. We were swept up in a round of hospital visits and medical appointments. Besides caring for Heather and Lily, I had to arrange doctor appointments, make travel arrangements, make sure Lily was cared for while we traveled to and from Boston; the list went on and on. I quickly became overwhelmed.
Fear reared its ugly head. I worried that my wife would die, that we would lose everything, that I'd become a homeless widower with a small child to raise all on my own. I often broke down and cried under the stress and pressure, but always in private. I had to be strong for my family, and the last thing I wanted was to show my wife how scared I was.
I'm most grateful for all the help we received. Friends, family, even strangers offered financial assistance and soothing words when we needed it most. I am forever in their debt, and I've learned a thing or two about humility. My strongest advice to other caregivers is to accept help when it's offered, no matter who it’s from or what they’re offering. It lightens the load and shows us we're not alone in the fight.
Being a caregiver isn't easy. A cancer diagnosis creates fear, uncertainty, chaos and stress. I think it's the most difficult challenge anyone can face. And yet, fear and anger create even more uncertainty. The only way to move through it is to do your best, accept that some days will not be easy, and never, ever lose hope.
My wife went through surgery, radiation and chemotherapy. Her chances for survival were poor. Yet today, seven years after her mesothelioma diagnosis, Heather is cancer-free. And as a caregiver, I learned to manage my emotions, handle stress, balance time and use persistence to great advantage.
After the diagnosis, I could never have imagined how things would turn out. Being a caregiver taught me we're capable of moving mountains. But it takes faith, hope, a belief in ourselves, and never giving up.
My wife Heather was diagnosed with a cancer called malignant pleural mesothelioma in 2005. Our first child, Lily, was only three months old at the time. It felt like the end of the world. Instead of preparing for Lily’s first Christmas as planned, we began a long, difficult journey to save Heather’s life.
The doctor who diagnosed Heather offered three treatment options. We could visit a specialist in Boston or go with either a local university hospital or a regional hospital. My wife was in shock, and her eyes pleaded for help, so it was up to me. I chose the specialist, and that was my first decision that marked the beginning of my role as a caregiver.
Our structured life dissolved into chaos. Before the diagnosis, we had both worked full time. Now Heather could no longer work, and I could only work part-time in order to care for her and Lily. We were swept up in a round of hospital visits and medical appointments. Besides caring for Heather and Lily, I had to arrange doctor appointments, make travel arrangements, make sure Lily was cared for while we traveled to and from Boston; the list went on and on. I quickly became overwhelmed.
Fear reared its ugly head. I worried that my wife would die, that we would lose everything, that I'd become a homeless widower with a small child to raise all on my own. I often broke down and cried under the stress and pressure, but always in private. I had to be strong for my family, and the last thing I wanted was to show my wife how scared I was.
I'm most grateful for all the help we received. Friends, family, even strangers offered financial assistance and soothing words when we needed it most. I am forever in their debt, and I've learned a thing or two about humility. My strongest advice to other caregivers is to accept help when it's offered, no matter who it’s from or what they’re offering. It lightens the load and shows us we're not alone in the fight.
Being a caregiver isn't easy. A cancer diagnosis creates fear, uncertainty, chaos and stress. I think it's the most difficult challenge anyone can face. And yet, fear and anger create even more uncertainty. The only way to move through it is to do your best, accept that some days will not be easy, and never, ever lose hope.
My wife went through surgery, radiation and chemotherapy. Her chances for survival were poor. Yet today, seven years after her mesothelioma diagnosis, Heather is cancer-free. And as a caregiver, I learned to manage my emotions, handle stress, balance time and use persistence to great advantage.
After the diagnosis, I could never have imagined how things would turn out. Being a caregiver taught me we're capable of moving mountains. But it takes faith, hope, a belief in ourselves, and never giving up.
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