Oh, right. Duh.

Blog post number two and it's only Wednesday! WOoo!!! ;)

I don't have any updates on fundraisers right now, but I just want to remind you that today is the LAST day to get a Scentsy order in for February (10% off almost everything, the last month for bricks, and the last month for many scents that are being discontinued)!
Also, our Mary Kay fundraiser OFFICIALLY kicks off tomorrow!! I'm so excited about it, and I hope you all are too!!
I'm going to try to make a page over on the side for all fundraiser info (websites, dates, etc) today. I'm still very new at this, so I'm not even really sure I CAN do that. But I'm going to try!

Also, I want to send out our prayers for all of those affected by the tornadoes and other severe weather last night. Our thoughts are with you all!

That's all I've got fundraiser-wise. Time to continue on with our story!!

...................................................................................................................................................................


The first official "chemo week" was over. And the cold intolerance/carbonation intolerance just got worse. It was Friday, and Danny couldn't eat or drink anything even slightly cold. We went out to dinner, and he was ordering a drink.
"I'll have a Dr Pepper... no ice."
"No ICE??" That's what he said lady, just do it!
"No ice."
"Okaaaay." And off the waitress went.
"So, you can handle the carbonation okay still?"
"It stings like it did those first few days. It hasn't gotten any worse. Just the cold, it hurts way too bad."
The waitress came back with our drinks, and an odd look on her face when handing over the pop with no ice.
I wish she wouldn't look at Danny like that. Like she pities him. She doesn't know what's going on, why he can't have the ice. She doesn't know anything and she still pities him. He doesn't need PITY. He'd got this...
We ordered our food and Danny took a drink of his pop.
"Is it okay?"
"A little warm for my liking..." With a smirk on his face... He is still making jokes.
We ate our dinner, and then headed home to enjoy our weekend.

We had Faith on Monday, and she asked how her Daddy was feeling. Such a loving little girl.
"I'm feeling just fine Faith."
"Are you sure, Daddy? I will be extra good today anyway." Awwww, she's so sweet!!
"If you say so! And yes, I'm sure."
"Destiny?"
"Yes baby?"
"How many more chemo's does Daddy have to have?" Why is she asking me??
"Why don't you ask your dad that?"
"Because you know everything!" Oh, right. Duh.
"Well, Daddy finished his first one. Now he has eleven left. Plus radiation. But anyway, basically he has five left until he gets a little break from it all."
"Oh, five. Good. That's not too much." Not at all...

By Thursday, the cold intolerance was gone. Danny was back to normal. He could drink cold drinks. Eat ice cream. He was normal.
"Well YEA for finally feeling like yourself! Now you can enjoy the weekend!"
"Yep. And it's our weekend with Faith, so she'll get to enjoy normal weekends with us. Without me feeling like crap." That's right... Such a good Daddy, always thinking like that. I love my husband!
"Yep. And she'll only see you with the pump on Mondays. Hopefully this won't bother her."
"Hopefully." He doesn't look too positive about that...

The weekend went too fast. They always do, when you're enjoying your time with family and absolutely dreading Monday. Only for us, we weren't dreading work. We were dreading chemo and that awful cold intolerance that was sure to come again. But I was also looking forward to marking off another chemo treatment. To be able to say there were only four left until the break.



That's all I've got for today. The posts are shorter now, because that's how our life felt. Focusing on each day and each day only. Not making plans because we weren't sure how Danny would be feeling. Not worrying about the future, because the present needed our full attention.
Thanks for reading and please remember to follow and SHARE!! :)

Well I tried.

Happy Monday!! And look at me, blogging first thing!! Whoop whoop, are you all proud? ;)

No fundraiser updates as of right now. Still trying to figure out if we can get a quartermania together next month. Hopefully we'll have sign ups ready for the photography fundraiser soon!

In the meantime... Have you written in to Ellen, yet? I know a few of you have. But if you haven't... here's the link! It's the perfect way to help us out if you'd like but don't have the means! And we appreciate it so much!!
http://ellen.warnerbros.com/show/respond/?PlugID=433


....................................................................................................................................................................


The first night with the chemo pump wasn't great... We got ready for bed as usual, followed by Danny unraveling the pump as much as possible so he would have room to move around.
"I guess I won't get any snuggle time with you while that's attached, huh?"
"The pump is attached on your side... We could always trade sides of the bed." Uhhh no.
"Ummmm, I'm okay. I like my side."
"I thought so..." He thinks he's so smart!
We laid down in bed and tried to get comfortable. Danny moved the chemo pump around a few times until he found a good place for it. Above our heads, under the pillows so the cats wouldn't chew on the tube.
BBBZZZZ. Is that my phone?
I checked my phone, nothing. So I rolled back over to go to sleep.
BBBZZZZZZ. Okay, THAT was my phone.
I checked it again... Nothing.
"I swear I keep hearing my phone vibrate, but it's not on silent... And I check it and there's nothing there."
"Babe, I think its the chemo pump." OOoooohhhhhh.
I moved my head over to the chemo pump, waiting. BBBBBZZZZZZZZZ. Yep! That's it!!
"You're right. It's the dang pump."
"Are you going to be able to get to sleep? Or do you want me to move it?" Ahhh how am I going to get to sleep? Really?
"I will get used to it. That's what's comfortable for you so that's great for me. I love you."
"Love you. Good night."

The next morning I woke up not to my alarm, but to that loud pump. I was still so tired, because I slept very little thanks to the buzzing.
"Did you sleep at all babe?" Not much...
"Yes I did. I'm good."
"Do I need to sleep on the couch or something while I've got this thing?" NOOOO!!!
"No! Absolutely not. If anything, I can sleep on the couch. Not you. But neither of us will sleep on the couch, I will get used to the buzzing."
"Are you sure? I don't mind the couch. Or there's always the spare room."
"I'm sure. I will sleep worse without you in bed with me than I do with the pump buzzing in my ear."
"Well, be sure to tell me if I need to sleep somewhere else." I never want you to sleep anywhere else...
Danny and I went to work that day, both of us groggy and needing more rest. That evening Danny went to school, and I took a nap. Trying to prepare for another night of little sleep.

"Wake up, I'm home!" Ahhhh I could've slept through the night probably!
"How was class babe? Are you still feeling okay?"
"I feel fine, just can't drink pop which is still bothering me. Class was fine." My poor hubby.
"I left a pop out of the fridge for you. It shouldn't be hot, but it's not cold either."
"You're the best!" I just hope it works.
Danny walked into the kitchen to get the pop I left out for him. Opened it and chugged a bunch.
"Well, it was a little better. But it still hurt." Well crap!
"So, it's not even the temperature of it.... It's the carbonation?"
"I think it's both. The cold really hurts. Worse than this pop did. But this stung, too." Well I tried.
"You've been able to eat okay though?"
"Yeah,  I've been eating fine. Just can't find anything that I can drink."

We went to bed that night in much the same way we did the night before. Unraveling the chemo pump, putting it above our heads under the pillows. And then trying unsuccessfully to ignore the buzzing.
I was tossing and turning.
"Babe, do you want me to go sleep somewhere else?" I already said no!!
"Nope. I'm good. This is the last night with it this week. And then there will only be five more chemo weeks until you get a break. And there's the off week in between chemo weeks. You do not need to sleep anywhere else. I can handle this!"
I finally decided to take a benedryl. That was the correct choice!! I woke up the next day feeling refreshed! Finally!! And it was finally Wednesday!! Bye bye chemo pump!!

Danny went on his lunch break on Wednesday to the cancer center. They removed the pump and asked him about any side effects. He made sure to tell them about the slight cold intolerance and carbonation irritation. They said he was doing great, so we decided to get back to normal for the next week and a half.



That's all I've got for now. I will try to blog more often this week for you all! Please remember to follow and SHARE!! :) Thanks for reading!!

Please let this go well

It's been a while since I posted... I'm so sorry everyone!!
My great uncle passed away Sunday and blogging has been the last thing on my mind. After his funeral yesterday we spent some time with my family, and then Danny left and I spent time with them fighting over spoons... No, really. We were playing Spoons. And I'll have you know I have a BRUISE on my poor hand from it. Those people are crazy. :) But, I love them. And we had a great time. I know uncle Ray Rey was enjoying the view from heaven, watching all of us battle it out over plasticware.

I am blogging today because I have a few minutes to spare (okay, like an hour. So really that's cutting it close!). Also, because I was asked quite a few times yesterday if I'd posted lately. And then of course miss Mandi told me today that I needed to get my tush in gear and get back at it. So, here I am. And I must say, it is a really nice feeling knowing that not only do people READ my blog, they want more. They aren't completely bored with our story (that my close friends and family already know), and they look forward to the new posts.

I don't really have any fundraiser updates. Remember everyone, the Scentsy fundraiser is still ongoing, and the sale is THIS month. Also, the Mary Kay fundraiser officially starts next month, but you can order now. Go "like" her on Facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Mandi-Gilchrist-Mary-Kay/320496594660914) or go directly to her website at http://www.marykay.com/mgilchrist04.

My oldest brother had the idea yesterday that maybe we should have a golf tournament fundraiser! He's going to look into it, so I will let you all know about that once we have more details.

I think that's all for today. I feel like I should have more updates for you, since I haven't been on here in so long. But, I don't. So. I'm sorry :)

.....................................................................................................................................................................

The day finally came to start chemo. It was a Monday, and neither of us were really looking forward to it. Danny came to pick me up before lunch so we could eat together before his appointment.
"Where do you want to eat?" Me?? It shouldn't be up to me, I'm not getting chemo today!
"Where ever you want. You start chemo today, so we should go somewhere that you want so you can enjoy it."
"I don't care. Where ever. Burger King?" Really? Burger King??
"Okay...."
So we went to BK, ordered, and ate. I'm usually a big eater, but the nerves had set in. My appetite was gone, and I couldn't finish my meal.
"So. Do you even know where we're supposed to go for chemo?"
"The same place we go for the other appointments, and then instead of going right to see the doctor, we will go left into the chemo room." I guess I have never even LOOKED left... There's a room over there??
"I didn't even realize there was a room over there."
"Yep. That's where I went to take Wendy some food when she was getting chemo." I really hope this chemo is different than what Wendy had... Her side effects were awful from what she's told me.
"Ohhh. Well, I'm glad you at least know where to go. I wonder how long the treatment will last..."
"I figure just a couple hours." GLAD I BROUGHT A BOOK!!!!
We headed up to the cancer center, Danny checked in and got his pager. Then we went to the hospitality room to work on a puzzle. Danny got paged for bloodwork, and was back within five minutes.
We waited for well over an hour.
"Do you think we'll have to wait this long every week?"
"I hope not. This is ridiculous." It's beyond ridiculous really... But that other waiting room WAS completely full...
"Maybe we should go ask them if they know how much longer it'll be. I mean, at this point if treatment is any more than 2 hours, it'll be too late to pick Faith up from daycare."
"That's true... I will be right back."
And off he went to ask someone how much longer it would be before it was his turn.
"They said they are just waiting on a chair to open up for me. And that it should only be a few more minutes. Mondays are their busy days." Why did they add yet ANOTHER patient to their "busy" day then?!?!
"Okay. Well, then we should still have time to get Faith. I'm going to text Wendy though and tell her we aren't even back there yet."
I spent a few minutes texting back and forth with Wendy. She expected chemo to take more than two hours, and said she would pick Faith up if we needed her to. She also told me to tell Danny that she hopes he gets a good chair because some of them aren't very comfortable.
"Wendy said she'll get Faith if we need her to. I will text her later and let her know. And that she hopes you get a good chair and not an uncomfortable one."
"Oh GREAT. Because chemo isn't bad enough, they also have to torture us with crappy chairs?" Ha. Evidently.
"I guess so babe."
BzzBZZBBBZZZZZZZ. FINALLY.
We got up and headed back to the regular waiting room, where a nurse was waiting with a piece of paper in her hand with Danny's name and a chair number on it. She led us back out into the hall instead of the area that Danny described.
"How are you feeling today Danny?"

"Well right this way, we'll get  you hooked up and ready to go."
We went into another room, with a small waiting room and a hallway. We went down the hallway and into a small room with a recliner for Danny and two chairs off to the side. I set our stuff down in one and plopped down in the other.
"I will go get all of your stuff that is being pulled now. In the meantime can I get you anything to drink? Water? Tea?"
"I'll have a tea, thank you."
The nurse left to get his bags of medicine and his tea and I tried to get comfortable in my chair.
"I feel really far away from you way over here against the wall."
"Well I feel really weird just sitting smack dab in the middle of the room." Good point!
"This is really kind of nice... Getting your own room and everything."
"Yeah, it's not normally like this. I'm not really sure why I'm in here instead of in the big room." Don't question it, just enjoy it!
"Well, I like it. I hope you get a personal room every week!"
The nurse came back with Danny's drink.
"It's got ice in it. I would recommend drinking it early on in the treatment, because towards the end it may be too cold." The cold intolerance can NOT kick in that quickly. That's crazy talk!!
"Okay."
"And, let's take this t-shirt off. Do you have an undershirt on or would you like a blanket to cover up with? I know it's kind of chilly in here."
"I've got an undershirt on, I'll be fine."
"Okay, I will be right back. Oh and here's the remote for the TV." I did not even notice the TV. SWEET!
"There's probably nothing but soaps on right now. Ugh." There is PLENTY on right now, I'm sure!
"I am sure I could find something to watch... But I'll let you control the TV today, since I brought a book."
"Oh how considerate of you." Our sarcasm and banter probably makes people think we don't get along well... Ha!
"Just this time. But be sure to watch something I'll enjoy too. In case my book gets boring."
"Whatever."
The nurse came back in with bags of medicine and a folder.
"Okay, I'm just going to go over all of this with you..." blah blah blah. More paperwork. I'm so SICK of paperwork. I'm also sick of having the paperwork READ to us. We can read! Blah blah blah.
"So, this folder is yours to keep. Be sure to check it if there are side effects you are questioning." Duh. I know they have to go over this with every new patient but come on....
"Thanks." I stuffed the folder into the side of the chair so I could read through it myself later.
"I'm going to move your shirt over, Daniel. And now I'm going to connect the fluids. It's going to pinch. If you'd like I can give you some numbing cream first and let it sit and we can do this in a few minutes."
"I'm fine without the numbing stuff. Go ahead."
"Okay, one... two.... three." And he didn't even flinch. Wow!
Bags were hung up on the IV cart thing and the nurse left the room.
"So, did that hurt?"
"Not as bad as everyone makes it out to. I definitely don't need any numbing cream."
"Well aren't you just so strong and brave."
"Shut up." Never!!
Danny turned the TV to something boring so I decided to go through the folder full of information. Some of it really was useful, and it's stuff I needed to take note of in case Danny started having a bad reaction to the meds once we were home.
"Hello! I hear this is your first time in here for chemo treatment!" I look up to see a sweet older woman standing in our room with a basket full of snacks and treats and a bag in her other hand.
"It sure is."
"Well, I'm from Victory in the Valley. What we do is try to make your time here as comfortable as possible. We provide the snacks in the hospitality room and we also bring snacks and treats around twice a day to the treatment rooms. Here's some paperwork on what else we can help with." MORE PAPERWORK!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!
"Thank you. We've actually been spending a lot of time down in the hospitality room."
"Oh good, so you did find it! That's great. Well, since it is your first time here, you get a teddy bear! Which one would you like?" Awwww Danny gets a teddy bear!
"Babe, which one do you think Faith would like more?" I love my husband, always thinking of his daughter first!
"I think she'd like whichever one her Daddy picks out for her." So he chose a bear and the lady chatted with us for a few more minutes. When the nurse came back in, the lady made her way out.
"Okay, now that we've got some fluids in you, we will start with the actual chemo." We've been here for HOW long and he's only just gotten FLUIDS?! Oh my gosh...
She switched the bags and left the room.
"I should probably text Wendy and tell her to get Faith tonight. We are never going to get our of here."
"That's a good idea."
After a while Danny started channel surfing and since I couldn't concentrate on my book I just got on the internet on my phone.
"Danny, Shana is saying on Facebook that the base is all shut down. There's an alarm going off and the police are driving down the streets telling everyone there's a lock down. What the heck is going on? Turn it to a news channel!"
He switched to a local channel and we seen what was going on. There had been a shooting (nowhere near the air force base) and the alleged shooter fled. They chased him to an area right outside of the base.
We spent the next couple of hours following the story. Completely distracted from what was going on in our little room. Before we knew it the nurse was saying our time in the room was done, just as soon as she set Danny up with the chemo pump. She left the room to go get it.
"Well, that didn't seem to take too long."
"Babe, have you looked at the clock?" Ohhhhh.... Okay so it did take a long time.
"Wow. Well, the time went by fast at least."
"Yeah, but I'm ready to get out of here."
The nurse came back in and said it would be just a bit longer for the pump, and asked if Danny would like more tea or water.
"I'd really like some pop, if possible."
"Sure, it'll be cold though. So it might sting."
"That's fine, I just want pop. Do you have Dr Pepper?"
"We do." She asked me if I wanted any, and then went off to get Danny his pop.
"Okay, here you go. And I've got the pump here too." She handed the cold pop to Danny and I watched for a reaction. Touching the can didn't seem to bother him. And then he took a drink.
Okay, so cold intolerance DOES kick in fast. Sheesh.
"Did that feel okay going down Daniel?"
"Stung a little. But I'm good." Ouch!!!
"Okay, so I'm going to plug in your pump now. Here are some extra batteries that I will put in the bag with it. The batteries get replaced every time the pump leaves though, so you really shouldn't have to replace them. But just in case, they're here. If the pump starts making....." Blah blah blah. This is nothing I need to listen to, Danny will be at work or school most of the time, so I likely will never hear the alarm on it going off. Or anything else. But I really hope he's paying attention.
"Then you'll come in Wednesday and get the pump taken off. If the medicine is gone before you can make it in for removal, just close off all of these clips, and silence the beeping. It'll be fine." What a pain in the rear...
"Okay, I think you're free to go." FINALLY!!!!
We got up to leave and the nurse jumped up, remembering something else.
"Oh, one last thing." She hands over a large plastic bag. "This is for the clean up... In case something happens and there's a leak or the tube breaks. You can't touch the medicine, you'll need to clean it up with this kit." Oh, THAT'S comforting. Awesome!
We finally left the cancer center and headed for home. Danny was still trying to adjust the pump in a comfortable position, and I was trying to come to terms with the fact that he was attached to a machine that was pumping chemicals into his body that would cause a chemical burn if touched.


That's all I've got for today. Please remember to follow and SHARE!! :)

You don't have the "in" cancer.

Today's blog post is going to be a little different than normal...

First of all, I wasn't even going to blog today. I really have to get in the right frame of mind to blog, and I just wasn't feeling it. I was being a negative Nancy. I've been so busy all week with other stuff, that I just wanted to sit here today, and do nothing. But, little miss Ashley L thought she deserved a new blog post, just because it's her birthday! Who does she think she is?! Ohhh... since I'm drinking out of my Evgeni Malkin cup that she sent me, I should probably give her what she wants!!! :)

So.... Here's a new type of blog post for you all!!

Today there was a knock on the door... I shuffled to the door in my pajamas and rumpled hair, and seen it was a delivery. To Daniel Crabb. From the Lemieux Foundation. I sent Danny a text to ask what it was, and he told me to open it. Inside were two Lemieux Foundation hoodies!! I was excited, and even more happy when Danny told me that all the proceeds went to the foundation and Austin's Playroom. The Lemieux Foundation supports cancer research (Leukemia, Lymphoma, Hodgkin's Disease) and neonatal research. Austin's Playroom, specifically, aims at making playrooms in hospitals more comfortable and calming for the siblings and children of patients. I think the WORLD of the foundation and the playroom project, and not just because the cause is great. But because they were founded by Mario Lemieux (Danny's all-time favorite hockey player) and his wife. They work hard raising money for the research and other projects, and you just can't help but admire that!

So, I was sitting here, happy with this recent purchase. Money well spent if I do say so myself! Then I started thinking about the other charities we support. Danny is always giving money to the Firefighters when they're collecting money. We do multiple Toys for Tots runs every year. This last year we bought a few toys for children who were about to lose their mother to breast cancer. I have donated to Susan G Komen for a few years... We basically donate to everything we can. Not because it makes us "feel good." Because we can. Money is needed for all of these charities, foundations, families... We are blessed and can afford to support ourselves and still have money left over to share with these deserving people. With the recent public Komen vs Planned Parenthood debate, I've started to reconsider where my money goes....

Susan G Komen has made an effort to NOT ALLOW other charities/fundraisers to use the term "For the Cure." They also discourage the use of pink. REALLY?!?! Pink is the color for breast cancer awareness... If a survivor wants to dress in pink, make a name for herself and her group of supporters, and raise money for breast cancer research (not FOR Komen), she's not allowed to? Susan G Komen events will not suddenly diminish. They will not be forgotten about. People will still support them. To me, this is the Komen organization just trying to be a bully!!
What also saddens me, is when I was researching the above accusations... I found that the LIVESTRONG organization has made similar complaints against other foundations and charities with STRONG in the name.
I understand these organization want to preserve what they feel is "theirs." However, Komen does not OWN the color pink! Sorry, but they don't. Also, I'm sure "For the cure" was used SOMEWHERE long before Komen decided it should be their slogan. And last I knew, I thought their slogan was "Susan G Komen For the Cure." To me, as long as smaller charities aren't using that WORD FOR WORD, it shouldn't be a problem!!

So, I will have to REALLY consider about continuing to donate to Komen. Really. I will GLADLY support breast cancer research and awareness. I LOVINGLY support breast cancer survivors (my grandma beat breast cancer TWICE. Wendy, Faith's mom, also beat it TWICE. This last time WHILE PREGNANT). I just want to be sure my money isn't going to a place that tries to bully smaller charities.


Now... on to another rant!!!!
I've seen multiple stories today about Colon (or Colorectal) Cancer (one was on the Washington Post website).
I will admit, I thought I was alone (or at least one of very few) with my feelings of "outcast" because of the type of cancer my husband survived. Did he have the cancer that Lance Armstrong had? NOPE. Did he have a serious and life threatening cancer? YES HE DID.
The stories I've read today showed me I'm not alone in this feeling. You see pink EVERYWHERE. People know about breast cancer. Awareness has been raised. Research has come a long way thanks to all of this awareness.  Now, it's time to share that wealth. It's time to spread that awareness to other cancers!!
It's a sad day when you don't have the "right" type of illness. You don't have the "in" cancer. NO CANCER IS RIGHT OR "IN" AND I WISH PEOPLE WOULD REALIZE THAT!!! It's ALL scary. It can ALL take your life. I will quote a blog post I read today:
"Pink ribbons are pretty. Breast cancer is not. Bracelets that say, “I Love Boobies” are (arguably) silly and fun. Breast cancer is not. Facebook campaigns that encourage women to post a cryptic status update about the color of their bras do not raise “awareness.” All of these things trivialize a devastating, life-threatening disease." (mysemicolon.net)

You all know how strong Danny was/is. You've read my blog, you know how I feel. I haven't gotten to the part where he went through chemo yet, but take my word for it, he was AMAZING. I've told him, too, that I hope I never have to go through that. I'm SO not strong enough for that. And, now that he has gone through it, and got through it so well, there's NO WAY I could do it. Because all I would ever think is "Oh well Danny handled this just fine... Why can't I?"
So, I better not ever get cancer. And if someday I'm blessedly pregnant and I complain, someone, please, throw it in my face THAT I HAVE IT EASY!!!

So, okay, I am rambling. But I can't help it! I go from one rant to another and that's just me :)

Obviously I want to raise colon cancer awareness. I talk people's ears off if/when they bring up a symptom. At dinner a few months ago, we ran into an old coworker of Danny's. He asked how he was doing, and mentioned his own family history and minor symptoms. Danny said "Oh now you've done it..." and off I went. Telling this man that I'd only met a handful of times, just how scary this is. Just what all he NEEDED to do. I took charge and I wrote down Dr Hyder's name and phone number. I handed him that paper, which he took gratefully, and I gave him one last word of advice. "Do it. Call him. It's worth it." Did he listen? Well, he did. I demand attention when I talk about colon cancer! Did he take our advice? I have no idea. But I hope so.
I want to raise infertility awareness too... But I'll have a separate blog post about that!

So, today, now that I feel like I've ranted enough... I will post a few facts. I hope you all read them. Take them in. And realize just how serious colon cancer is. If you have a different topic you'd like to raise awareness on, hey, feel free to comment! I would be GLAD to post some facts about different cancers/diseases/etc on our blog. It gets a ton of views and I like to think that each of those views is taken seriously!


First, I'd like to mention some famous people who had colon cancer. I knew of one, the others I didn't. There's a long list at coloncancerresearch.com if you'd like to look yourself, I'm only mentioning the few that really stood out to me personally.
~Audrey Hepburn, actress, died January 20, 1993
~Pope John Paul II
~Carolyn Jones, actress, known for playing Morticia Addams in "The Addams Family". Diagnosed with colon cancer in 1982, died one year later in 1983
~Vince Lombardi, coach of the Green Bay Packers, died of metastatic colon cancer
~Sharon Osbourne, British reality TV star and talent show judge, diagnosed with colon cancer in July 2002, aged 49. She has recovered.
~Ronald Reagan, U.S. President
~Rod Roddy, previous announcer for "The Price Is Right," died at age 66, 2 years after diagnosis
~Charles Schulz, creator of 'Peanuts,' died at age 77, 60 days after diagnosis
~Joel Siegel, movie critic and host of "Good Morning America," died at age 64, 10 years after diagnosis
~Darryl Strawberry, baseball player

Did you know any of those people had colon cancer?? I have heard of each and every one of those people many many many many times, and I only knew of Sharon Osbourne. I didn't know about Audrey Hepburn and the others until I found that website a couple of years ago.

Not all causes of colon cancers are known, but many can be prevented!! A colonoscopy is done and your doctor will look for polyps.
From the time the first abnormal cells start to grow into polyps, it usually takes about 10 to 15 years for them to develop into colorectal cancer. Regular screening can, in many cases, prevent colorectal cancer altogether. This is because most polyps can be found and removed before they have the chance to turn into cancer. Screening can also result in finding colorectal cancer early, when it is highly curable. (cancer.org)


A few facts I found at CDC.gov:
~Of cancers that affect both men and women, colorectal cancer—cancer of the colon or rectum—is the second leading cause of cancer-related deaths in the United States.
~Colorectal cancer also is one of the most commonly diagnosed cancers in the United States. (Third most common)
~While screening rates continue to rise in the U.S., 22 million people are still not up-to-date with colorectal cancer screening.



That's all I've got today. My mind is mush, with all of these numbers and stats in my head. I remember seeing most of these numbers 2 1/2 years ago. At the time it all seemed daunting. There shouldn't be a percentage on my husband's life. I don't care of 30-50% of people with stage 3 colon cancer survive. That number scared us both at the time. And now we know where he stands. He's in that 30-50%. We are going on 3 years cancer free, together. As a team. We will make it to five. We will make it to ten. We will make it for many many years, thanks to God, FOLFOX, Dr Hyder, Dr Johnson, the doctor that did Danny's radiation (I'm sorry I don't know his name... Ugh!!), the doctor and nurse at the ER that first day, and our family physician, Dr Parman (for recommending Dr Hyder in the first place, which led to all the other decisions). And, hopefully, we will expand our family of three and have children together, thanks to Dr Gilbaugh and our future RE.
Please remember to follow and SHARE SHARE SHARE!! I will get back to our story next week!!

I'm no wuss!!

YIKES!!! It's been entirely too long since I've last blogged!!!! I'm sorry about that. Monday we had the cupcake fundraiser, and yesterday of course was Valentine's Day! I certainly didn't have time yesterday to blog and I figured nobody would have time to read it anyway! So I waited for today!

UPDATES UPDATES UPDATES!!!

Like I said, Monday was the Cupcake Event!! It was A HUGE success!!!!! I don't have a final number yet (I left that in the hands of Lynds, so she could take out what was originally invested, and then total it up!). When I get that number, I will be sure to let you all know! I will give you all some other numbers though! There were 26 orders, total. 642 cupcakes were ORDERED. Lyndsey baked more than this, and did end up with a few extra. So, I'd say she baked about 700 cupcakes!! Most of those extras were sold, also. And Faith got one ;) That's a TON of cupcakes!!
This was a learning experience for us. We now know what we will do differently for next time (Orderes will be in dozen and half dozen for instance. So, no order of 10, etc. Much easier to organize that way!!). And there WILL be a next time.... Cupcakes For ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!! :)

 There were boxes BEHIND those big boxes. Boxes and boxes and boxes!!! And these boxes on these tables weren't even all there were. There were still some inside, in the fridge, still being made, etc! IT WAS CRAZY!! :)
It was so nice meeting those of you who came that I hadn't met before... And seeing those of you who I already knew!! I did, however, forget to give some of you your thank you cards :( I'm so sorry about that!!!

Okay, so that's the update on the cupcakes... Let's see... The date that it looks like we will have the Cut-A-Thon is March 25th. I do realize this is the same day as our photography fundraiser, I'm just hoping that most people didn't plan on coming to both. OR, if they did, they can go to one, THEN the other :) The Cut-A-Thon will be from 1-5 pm, unless plans change. At B-NV'd Salon. I will put the address up closer to the date. Haircuts will be $20!! They won't be styling though, because they want to do as many cuts as possible!!

We are trying to work out a quartermania now. I'm really really hoping it works out!! I plan on ordering a few things to auction off (colon cancer related and just cancer related in general) in between the rounds. I'm hoping things fall into place for it and we can get a great turn out and raise some money!!!

Now... The MARY KAY fundraiser!! Woohoo!!! It officially starts in March. Mandi has said that you can order now if you'd like, but she won't be shipping until March. If you aren't local, you can have your items shipped to you! Here's some info above! Be sure to "Like" her on Facebook!! Mandi Gilchrist~ Mary Kay (http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1150630573366.2021919.1455676269&type=3#!/pages/Mandi-Gilchrist-Mary-Kay/320496594660914)

I think that's all I've got for now!!!! ...........................................................................................................


We received a schedule in the mail from the cancer center... It stated a new doctor's appointment with Dr Johnson, and chemo starting the same day. It also gave a time for Danny to get his chemo pump taken off two days later. It was all finally happening. FINALLY we could get started, knowing it really WAS just going to be preventative.
Bills were already adding up though, and some wonderful people at Danny's work all pitched in and got him a card and donated money to help us pay for some of the medical bills. Another surprise was two tickets to the annual local zoo fundraiser. We'd never gone and had always wanted to. We were BEYOND excited, and so thankful for the tickets and the donation.
My birthday was coming up, too. And I knew just what I wanted.... A tattoo, in honor and support of Danny. I wanted a crab, for my new last name. It needed to be pink, because that's my favorite color. And I wanted a blue ribbon. So people could ask what the blue ribbon was for and I could tell them our story. I told my parents about the tattoo, and they surprised me (along with one of my brothers) by writing me a check for it. It was one of the best birthday presents, ever!!
Danny went with me to get the tattoo, he sat with me and held my hand.
"Don't cry." What?!
"I'm not going to cry!!!"
"They say the foot hurts the worst... Other than the side...." UUuuggghhhhh Stop!!!
"Yes, I know this. It'll be fine!!"
The tattoo artist was great. He laughed at Danny's jokes... And when Danny was making fun of me. And he asked some questions.
"So what does the blue ribbon stand for?" First question thanks to the blue ribbon!!
We told him our story... The look of concern on his face was obvious.
"Well, are things okay now? You're okay, right man?" Yes he is!! Thank God!!
"Yeah, things are good. I'm currently cancer free. Just gotta do chemo and radiation to prevent it from coming back."
"Oh that's GREAT news!!! Awesome!!"
He finished up my tattoo (which did hurt, but not as bad as I had anticipated).
"You did really good! I'm surprised you sat through it all so well!" Uhhh, thanks? I'm no wuss!!
I finally looked down... I can't look while the tattoo is being done. I swear that  makes it hurt worse!
"Oh my goodness! IT'S PERFECT!!!"



That's all for today. If  you want to see the picture of the tattoo, it's below. Under "My first Danny-inspired tattoo." :) I will try to blog again tomorrow. A longer blog, about our first time in the chemo treatment room!! Please remember to follow and SHARE!!! Thanks for reading!! :)

What a relief!!

It's almost the weekend! YEA!!!

An update on the Cupcake Event!! We have gotten SOOOOO many orders. And most of them were BIG orders!! I can't believe it! If you are reading this and still haven't placed your order, and want cupcakes, please place your order RIGHT NOW. :) I would really like to have a final list to Lynds tonight so she can go get ingredients and boxes tomorrow.

SCENTSY UPDATE!!! We got $128 from January orders!! WOOHOOO!!! Thanks everyone!! This is an ongoing event, so feel free to place those orders at any time! I know we've already gotten orders for February!! Remember it's Stock Up and Save month, so almost everything is 10% off!! ALSO, our amazing consultant and friend, Tonya, has made a fabulous offer!! For anyone who books a qualifying home or basket party, Tonya will donate $20 to our fund (and you'll still get your hostess gifts!!)!! And it gets even better!! If you want to sign up to be a consultant (this fundraiser has been huge, with so many orders. The demand is there!), and you sign up through her... once you make a qualifying order, she will donate ANOTHER $20 to our fund!!! That's money for us AND an awesome opportunity for you!!

Also, I added a little thermometer over on the right side of this page! It tracks our donations and raised funds!! I put the goal as $10,000 because we will actually need closer to 15-20k once I add in the fees for the ICSI which we will need, plus the meds, the sonograms and office visits (that our insurance won't cover). We plan on pitching in obviously, so we aren't expecting to raise every penny. Because of that, I only put the goal as $10,000. That may or may not change once we getter a better estimate!!

I think that's all the  updates I have right now. I still need some input on the Mary Kay party from local followers. I  haven't heard a peep from any one of you!! If it just needs to be online only, that's fine! We are just willing to have a party if there is a need for people to test out colors, etc!

.....................................................................................................................................................................


The PET scan was Monday, and we had to wait two days for results... We were anxious and scared and on the edge of our seats waiting for the results. Danny had to call for the results and wait on a nurse to find the time to give him the results.
Danny was at work and I was at home. On the couch. Clutching my phone, waiting.... Waiting... Waiting....
BBBZzzzzzz
"Hello?"
"Hey." Hey? Seriously?
"Hi. What did she say????"
"Well...." WHAT?!?!?!
"Danny!!"
"She said the scan showed ZERO cancer cells." Thank you, God!!!
"ZERO?! In your whole body?!?!"
"That's what she said. Zero cancer cells." Thank you thank you thank you, God!!! What a relief!!
"So, does that mean that the spot was just damage from the antibiotics?"
"She didn't say anything about that spot. I guess Dr Johnson will decide that. But it's not cancer, that's what matters."
"Right. Oh gosh, I'm so relieved!!
"Me, too. But I gotta get back to work now." Of course... Insane work ethic!
"Text your mom and tell her, she needs to hear that from you!"
"I will."
We said our I love you's and goodbye, and I just sat there. The fear I felt when he was beating around the bush left me feeling way too hot, and the relief left me shaking. It was a weird mix, and all I really wanted to do was dance around the living room!! Instead, I called my mom.
It only rang once.
"Hello? Did you get the results?!" She's just like me! Right to the point!!
"Yes! Zero cancer cells, Mom! ZERO!!!"
"What?! He's cancer free?! Really?!" Ahhh I love hearing that! Cancer free!!!
"Yep!! I'm so happy!!"
"Well me too, that's wonderful hunny!" It is wonderful, and amazing, and fabulous, and I could go on and on!!!
"So, yeah... Cancer free... Wow..."
"I guess that means Dr Hyder was absolutely right when he said he felt like he got all of it." Oh, yeah. He did say that, didn't he?
"Yep..."
"And I guess that means your oncologist was right when he said he didn't think the spot looked like cancer..." He was right, alright!
"Right."
"So, I guess you should start listening to what the doctors are saying, and not read into the worst case scenario then..." Nahhhh. That's easier said than done!
"Whatever mom!" We laughed and then got off the phone.
I sent a text to everyone that I could think of that knew we were getting the scan.
And then I cried. A good cry! The tears came and I couldn't control them, but they were tears of joy and relief. So many things were going through my head:
We didn't wait too long to start chemo. We did the right thing. Saving his fertility didn't hurt us, it benefited us. Danny is cancer free, the PET scan says so, and thanks to that fertility surgery we have hopes of expanding our family. We can give Faith a brother or sister someday! And Danny will be here, healthy, to go through it with me! Faith won't lose her Daddy. He will be there to walk her down the aisle in 20 years... no, 30 years.... Oh thank you Lord!!

A few days later, we had plans to go to haunted houses. A big group had gathered at my parents' house, and it was loud. My dad walked into the dining room and seen us.
"Danny! Destiny!"
"Hey Dad!"

"Didn't Mom tell you?"
"No..." He gave my mom a dirty look which made me laugh!
"The scan showed ZERO cancer cells!"
The room got loud again. I heard a few "Congrats!!" and some "So you're cancer free, Danny?" and a few other "Woohooo!!"'s.
So, we celebrated right there in my parents living room and dining room, before going out to haunted houses. Surrounded by some family and close family friends. It was perfect!



That's all for today. A shorter post than usual, but it's dinner time now! And I couldn't leave you all hanging for another day!! Please remember to follow and SHARE!!! Thanks for reading!!!

What have we done??

A quick update on the cupcake orders!!! We need the orders in by FRIDAY so Lynds can get all the ingredients! If you RSVP'd, you will be getting a message sometime this week asking what you'd like to order. You don't have to RSVP on the event page to order, just get ahold of me of Lynds and let us know what you'd like! :)

******EDIT******
I added a widget to the side so you can see how far we've come to reaching our goal! I'm not sure of what our final goal will really need to be, since we plan on paying for as much as we are able (and the final price with the ICSI we'll need plus the meds will really be closer to 15k), but this is a good start. Also, I've only plugged in the number we've currently got in our PayPal from donations. This doesn't include the money from Scentsy that should be in soon, the bracelet sales, or in-person donations we've gotten. I will update it with a better number asap!! :)
I don't have any other updates today, since yesterday's post was so full of news!
................................................................................................................................................................


Danny's post op appointment with Dr Hyder went great. He had healed up nicely and quickly. That Friday was our appointment with Dr Johnson, and that's when we'd find out when chemo would start. I was beyond nervous, and not exactly ready for the hard part to start. I put on a happy face though, because the chemo starting up is what we WANTED. It's what would guarantee more years together. Danny picked me up from work that day and we had lunch together.
"So, do you think you'll start chemo next week?"
"Probably. I think that's what this appointment is for, to make sure I'm all healed up and ready to start."
We didn't talk about chemo anymore throughout the meal, instead we talked about Danny's work. He had a plan to make up the hours he'd be missing for chemo every other week. The owner was really understanding and told him to make sure he takes care of himself.
We got to the cancer center and Danny checked in and got a pager. We sat for a few minutes and then seen Danny's aunt and uncle. They were there for her treatment and were waiting too.
"Hey guys! Have you started your treatment yet Danny?"
"Not yet. But everything is good to go now, so I'm sure I will be starting up next week."
They chatted about different tips to dealing with the side effects. His aunt recommended some numbing cream to put on the area of the port so it wouldn't hurt as bad when they connect the bags of medicine. They took us down to a second waiting room, the hospitality room. They provide small snacks there, comfortable chairs, a puzzle, candies, etc.
"We should come down here from now on, instead of waiting in that other room."
"Okay. It is nice in here, isn't it?" Uhhh YES.
We chatted for a while longer and then they were paged for her treatment. We decided to work on the puzzle.
"We've been here for quite a while..."
"There were a lot of people in that waiting room." There were a TON of people in that waiting room!
BBbbzzzzzzzzzBBZZZZZzzzzzz
"Hmmm, I guess I just needed to complain a bit to get them into action!"
We headed back to the first waiting room, where a nurse was waiting on us.
"Daniel?"
"That's me."
"Right this way."
Danny got weighed, and then we were led to the same room where we first met Dr Johnson. We only had to wait about 2 minutes before he came into the room.
"Hello you two! How are things going??"
"Great. Everything is done and we are good to go!" Ugghhhh, nooooooooo. I'm not ready for this...
"That's great! Let me check your port incision and feel around on your abdomen to make sure everything feels right."
He did the physical evaluation and then sat down in his chair. Danny got off the table and joined me in the other open chair. Dr Johnson was flipping through the papers in Danny's chart, and he didn't look happy.
"Just a second, I need to call down to radiology." Ohmygosh. Something is wrong. Something is SERIOUSLY wrong. Oh no. No no no no no.
I grabbed Danny's hand, trying not to panic. But I couldn't help it. He, of course, didn't look worried at all. Dr Johnson talked on the phone for a minute and then hung up.
"I will be right back. I need to get a good look at your CT scan." Oh CRAP.
He left the room and I looked at Danny. For the first time, he didn't look confident. He looked like he was feeling the same way I was.
"It's going to be okay babe. I'm sure it's nothing."
"Yeah. I'm sure you're right." It doesn't sound like he believes me... I better try harder.
"Seriously. What could've changed from the CT that you had two days before your surgery? NOTHING. There's nothing to worry about. I'm sure."
"Yeah..." I guess I don't sound very convincing... Dr Johnson needs to hurry up!!!
We sat in silence for a while longer, just holding hands.... waiting...
And then Dr Johnson came back in, finally.
"Okay, just a few questions... Have you been on a lot of antibiotics since your surgery?"
"Ummm, no, not that I can really think of."
"None?" What is this about?!?!
"I don't think so?"
"Well, I ask because there is a spot on your liver." OH DEAR LORD. This is NOT happening!!
"Okay..."
"The radiologist flagged it. But, it doesn't look like cancer to me. I've been looking at CT scans for many years now, and I know what it looks like when cancer spreads to the liver, and this doesn't look like that. This looks more like possible damage from antibiotics to me." Crap crap crap, antibiotics, antibiotics, how many times has he been on antibiotics?
"Oh, wait. He's been on LOTS of antibiotics Doctor. He had to stay on them while he had the JP drain in for almost 3 weeks after the surgery. Then they gave him a different kind for when we went to Mexico. THEN, when we got back, he had his wisdom teeth out. And they gave him some antibiotics when he was having that done. He didn't stay on them afterward, but they did give it to him during..."
"Okay, see, that would definitely explain this." Whew!!!
"Are you sure, Doctor? There's no possibility that it's cancer?" What is this? A Debbie Downer?! What the heck!! He SAID it didn't look like cancer!!!!!
"Well, it doesn't look like cancer to ME." Hmmm, that doesn't sound as confident as I would like it to...
"So, what do we do now?" Yeah, what DO we do now?
"Well, let's schedule a PET scan. A PET scan will show any cancer cells you've got in the area it scans. It will tell us if that spot on your liver is cancer. If it doesn't show up as cancer on the PET, then it's just damage from the antibiotics." A PET scan, spot on his liver, I've got to remember all of this so I can google it!
"Okay. Sounds good."
"I think we're done here otherwise. You can head back out to the waiting room and I will have my scheduler get a time set up for the PET. She will get you the proper paperwork for it, and then you'll be free to go. The results will be ready about two days after the scan, you can call for them if you'd like. Then we will set up chemo after that."
"Thanks Doctor."
We headed back out to the waiting room. I googled "colon cancer, liver" and was NOT happy with what I was seeing.
"What does it say?"
"What?"
"I know you're googling all of this. What does it say?" Crap... I don't want to tell him!!
"Well, it says that the liver is where colon cancer usually spreads to IF it spreads. It also spreads to the lungs."
"$%#*" I knew I shouldn't have told him!!! Dang it!
"Babe, I really REALLY don't think this is cancer. It makes sense that its damage from ALL of those antibiotics you were on. You've been on a ton!"
"Yeah. I wonder how long it'll take to get me in for that scan."
We sat in silence while I kept googling. I was determined to keep searching until I found the answers that I wanted. I searched and searched... I never found any good news.
"Okay Daniel. I've got you set up for the PET scan on Monday morning. Here's the paperwork over how to prep for it. It's basically just a guide as to how you should eat the day before." More paperwork... More PREP. At least he doesn't have to drink that nasty stuff in a jug that they give him for the colonoscopy prep...
"Thank you."
We left the cancer center and basically just sat there in the parking lot. Numb.
"I'll text everyone, let them know how it went..." Because I can't call anyone with this information. I'll break down. Why the heck did we wait so long?! We should have just started chemo right away. Fertility preservation is POINTLESS if the cancer spread during that time. I won't have his child without him here to raise the child. We should have just taken the chances and if we couldn't have kids, we couldn't have kids. We shouldn't have taken the chance with his LIFE instead. I want kids but I WANT MY HUSBAND MORE!!! What have we done??
I grabbed Danny's hand once I finished with the mass text message. I put on a confident smile. Falling apart wasn't an option.



That's all for today! Please remember to follow and SHARE! Also, feel free to share the Cupcake Event Page on your Facebooks! Thanks for reading! :)

Took the words right out of my mouth!

Mondays usually stink, but today is a fabulous day!! The weekend was marvelous and today hasn't felt like Monday at all (except Danny is at work instead of here with me, that part isn't awesome.. but at least he has a job, right?).

The Valentine's Day Cupcake Sale has BEGUN!!!!! Here's the link to the event on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/#!/events/104311159694377/
We can't ship the cupcakes, so this is for local people only (you have to pick them up). This is how it will work:
1. Pick out the cupcakes you want
2. Let me or Lyndsey know here, on Facebook, through text, etc, what you want to order from the list
3. Come PICK UP YOUR CUPCAKES the evening of Monday, February 13th
I think I will have some bracelets there for purchase if  you haven't ordered (or if you did, and you want cupcakes, I can have your bracelets there for you!)
Here is the price list. Also the pictures of the cupcakes!!

They all look so delicious!!! Everyone enjoys a box of chocolates on Valentine's Day, but you can't go wrong with a box of cupcakes AND chocolates together in one!!

Also, over the weekend I got such an amazingly thoughtful donation!! My niece's friend had her birthday party, and she donated part of the money she received as gifts to our fund!!! At 13, I wasn't thinking about donating any money I got for my birthday to any fund but my More Shoes Fund, so, it's no surprise that I bawled my little eyes out when she told me what she was doing! It IS a surprise that I didn't cry when she handed over the envelope full of money though! :)

Thank you so much, again, Hunter!! You're such a sweet, thoughtful and caring friend! :)

The Scentsy fundraiser is still ongoing! This is the last month for Winter Scents! Scentsy is 10% off right now, AND they are discontinuing the bricks scents! So, if that's what you usually purchase, you may want to stock up now!!

The Mary Kay fundraiser starts next month!! I need your input, local followers!! If you plan to purchase from the fundraiser, would you like there to be an actual Mary Kay party so you can try out the colors, etc? It's possible, but we wanted to know if there is a need for it. Don't want to get it all together and have nobody show up!

I also got some really amazing news today, but I can't announce it on here yet. It's still something that's in the works and I don't want to count my chickens before they hatch :) But to say I'm excited is a major understatement!!

I think that's all the fundraiser updates I have right now.............................................................................


So, the fertility surgery was a success. Danny said it was THE MOST painful surgery he had yet. Despite the huge scar down his abdomen from the colon resection. I tried to tell him that the itty bitty incision from this surgery couldn't hurt THAT bad, but he didn't agree. I guess it's just not something a woman could understand!
Next on the list was the surgery to put in the port for chemo. Danny didn't get much of a recovery time between the surgeries, it was time to rush things now. We got to the surgery center where Danny had his colon resection. This surgery was just an outpatient procedure, but being in the building where we'd spent so much time just unnerved me. Also, Dr Hyder wasn't performing the surgery. One of his partners was.
"Hello Crabbs! How is everything going? Did your last surgery go well?"
"It did. Now I'm ready for this one so we can start chemo."
"Okay, great! Let me explain everything to you both before we get back there.... The surgery is..." Dang, he's really going into detail about what he's going to do... So much detail that I should probably tune it all out before I have to race to a trash can! AHHHH!!!
"Okay, so that's what I'll be doing. Now here's this little thing for you. It will help the nurses find the correct spot for chemo injections. Any questions?"
"So, this is really just supposed to be an outpatient procedure, even though you're connecting this thing into one of my major veins?" See? Doctors shouldn't go into THAT much detail! I hope Danny isn't too worried...
"That's right. And I have no doubt you will heal up really fast. You've done great after every procedure so far, this won't be any different for you."
"Okay, then we're good."
The doctor and Danny went back to the prep area. It was only about 10 minutes later when I got called back.
"Hey there honeymooner!! I seen Daniel a few minutes ago, it's nice to see you two again!" I love these nurses here! They remember us and our story and they care!
"It's great to see you, too! Are you Danny's nurse today?"
"One of them, here let's go to his area...."
She led me to the same area he was in before his colon resection, and another one of our favorite nurses joined us.
"So  now that we're all here, tell us about your honeymoon!! Was it amazing?!" Uhhhohhhh, here we go!
"Oh it was amazing alright! Destiny was sick the WHOLE TIME!!!" Way to shout that to the world Danny... Ugh!
"Oh no!! Was it the flu? Or were you sea sick?" I wish it had been the flu... would've been a nice excuse!
"Sea sick..."

"Oh you POOR girl!!" At least they understand and aren't making fun of me!
"Yeah, so the customer service people tried to sell me this bracelet. It wasn't even medicated or anything. Just an acupressure thing! I said heck no, if it didn't have medicine it wasn't going to work! The doctor was basically never open, so she just had to suffer. It was awful." Listen to him, it sounds like HE was the one sick the whole time! Ha! Love him!
"You know, those acupressure bracelets actually really do work, really really well. I used one during both of my pregnancies for the nausea..." WHY DID NOBODY TELL US BEFORE THE CRUISE?!
"Oh, of course! Nobody gave us that heads up before we left for the cruise!" Ha! Took the words right out of my mouth!
"Well, now you know for the next time you all go on a cruise!" Hahahahaa RIIIGHT.
"I don't think Danny will ever want to go with me again. He stayed in the cabin with me the entire time since I was so sick."
"If I had left her alone, on our honeymoon, I never would've heard the end of it!" Maybe that's true... Maybe...
"Well I think staying with her was the right decision! If you hadn't, I would be chewing you out right now!" Oh how I love these nurses!!
After a bit more chit chat, it was time for the surgery. I walked with them as far as the operating room doors, and then went to the waiting room. I was feeling really great about things. I was also feeling really hungry, so after a few minutes I went to the vending machine for some crackers. I hadn't even finished the bag of Cheez-Its when the doctor was out in the waiting room.
"Okay Mrs Crabb, the surgery went great! He's in recovery right now. The area will be sore for a few days. He's got a post-op appointment in a few days, I've got it written down for you on that paperwork." I need a flippin' filing cabinet for all of these stacks of paperwork we get at every appointment!!
"Great, thanks so much!"
A few minutes later I was called back to the back where Danny was already awake and doing great. After chatting with the nurses for a while, we headed home.
"Does it hurt?"
"Well, yeah. They just cut me open there... And I think they just glued me back together. I can't tell. But anyway, it's nothing I can't handle." Of course not... He's so tough.
"He said it'll be sore for a few days. And your post-op appointment is written down somewhere in that paperwork."
"Okay."
"So... Are they going to start chemo soon, then?"
"I think I have to see Dr Johnson one more time before chemo can start." Oh, duh.
"Oh, that's right."
"But, I'm all ready now. So I'm sure they'll start in the next week or so." Oh no, I'm not ready for this... It'll REALLY be real then...
"You'll do great..."
"I don't know that I will do GREAT, but I'll do it. That's what matters." Right...


That's all for today! Please remember to follow and SHARE! Thanks for reading everyone!!

That's my husband... Better than great...

Sorry for not posting yesterday! I took the day and did our taxes, which gave me a headache. I just had to put the laptop away! :)

The cupcake sale will begin soon. Lynds has some amazing ideas and all of her cupcakes look DELICIOUS!! I can't wait until she's got all the different kinds ready and takes pics so I can share with you all! I think we will just have the pics of the different cupcakes, and you can order what you would like and can pick them up at your convenience once your order is done. I'll let you all know if this changes!

That's all the updates I have for today! .......................................................................................................


The day finally came for Danny's surgery. It wasn't one I was nervous about, but I was worried it would be a painful recovery for him. We showed up bright and early and were the first people in the waiting room.
"We can take you right back here to fill out the paperwork." Oh geez, I'm so sick of paperwork!
We followed a nurse into a hallway with cubicles. Danny filled out papers concerning his surgery, while I filled out information regarding the sperm bank.
"Okay, I will need the payment of _____ for the transportation and testing of the vials. The first year's storage fee won't be taken out of your account until ReproTech gets the vials at their facility."
I handed my debit card over, thankful we'd gotten help from the bank and Danny's mom. Then another nurse came over and said she would be the one handling the vials. She explained a little bit about the procedure and what would happen afterward.
"Does your insurance cover IVF? Or do you even know yet? They probably don't, most around her don't." Ummm, I can't answer any of your questions if  you don't even take a breath lady...
"I uhh, I don't think they cover it, they aren't even covering this surgery."
"Ugh! Of course not! It's so ridiculous, these insurance companies!" Tell me about it...
I nodded, it was all I could do. Complaining about the insurance company policies wouldn't change them, and I didn't want to think about IVF yet. I needed to focus on Danny waking up from the surgery and recovering and being comfortable. I was suddenly nervous about him being knocked out so many times for different surgeries. Don't some people never wake up from those drugs? Suddenly, it all felt like a mistake.
This is a pointless surgery, because we probably will never be able to afford IVF. Meanwhile, his chemo is being pushed back, which is probably risking his life. And he's being put under by more drugs, and what if he doesn't wake up?! Oh no. No no no.
I needed Danny, I needed him to be strong and tell me I was being silly, but he had already been taken back for prep. I got my phone out so I could call someone, ANYONE, who could calm me down. I didn't get a chance to dial though, because Dr Gilbaugh came in to discuss the surgery with me.
"Hello Mrs Crabb! How are you today?" About to have a flippin' PANIC ATTACK!!!!!
"Umm, nervous I guess."
"Oh no need for that! Everything is going to be great. Danny may be uncomfortable over the next few days after this surgery. He should take it easy."
"Okay."
"What we are going to do is..." blah blah blah. These talks before every surgery and test and scan are just... UGH.... ridiculous! I don't understand anything anyone says!
"And then the nurse will come out and let you know what the final count of the sperm is. Danny will be able to leave once he's fully awake and feeling up to it."
"Okay."
"Also, I did want to mention... Some couples put their tax returns away in a heathcare savings account type thing. For IVF. It might be worth looking into as an option for you guys." Riiight, it will take 10 years for that!!
"Okay, I will talk to Danny about it."
"Okay, well I've got to go talk to a few other people. Someone should be back to get you any minute so you can see Daniel before the surgery." Another doctor who cares. Another doctor that goes above and beyond for his patients... We are so lucky....
"Thanks so much Doctor."
Almost immediately I was called back to see Danny. He was laughing and having a grand time with the nurses, something I was so used to seeing that it was a comfort. A norm.
"Is he giving you a hard time? He does that with all his nurses. Just tell him to shush it if you're tired of hearing him." I was laughing and smiling and feeling better. Good enough to joke around.
"Oh no, we rarely get FUN people in here! He's great!" That's my husband... Better than great...
We only had a few minutes before they took him back to surgery. I decided not to share my worries. He was in good hands, all of his doctors came to the same conclusion that chemo could wait. Even if we called this surgery off now, chemo probably wouldn't start any earlier. Danny still needed to get his port put in! Which would be ANOTHER surgery... We hung out and joked around for a while. I told Danny about the tax refund savings account thing. Then it was time...
"Ok Mrs Crabb, someone will be out afterward to fill you in." Ahhhh, I hate this part of the surgery days!
"I'll see you when you wake up babe. I love you."
"Don't worry, okay? I love you." Don't worry. Ha.
I headed back out to the waiting room, where I tried to read but couldn't. After a while a doctor came out to talk to the family sitting near me. I'd seen the young woman get taken back, she was around my age.
"I'm sorry, it was much worse than expected when we got in there. We had to do a hysterectomy. " The girls mom broke down. The man I assumed was her husband, or maybe boyfriend, put his head in his hands. Then asked if she would be okay.
 I shouldn't be listening, but they aren't being quiet. And I can't just get up and walk off. I wish the doctor was quieter, goodness, I'm not the only one that can hear this conversation...
"She will be okay. And I think this will take care of her pain and discomfort. But, the chance of having kids is..." I tuned out. I couldn't hear another spouse be told they couldn't have kids naturally or not at all. I just couldn't. I didn't want to make it obvious, but I got up and walked off. I went to a different section in the waiting room, where I was alone.
That girl was my age! And her chance of being a mom was ripped away! How UNFAIR is that?! Oh, God. I hope they somehow saved some eggs or something, before this. I hope they knew this was a possibility before she went back there.
A short while later, the nurse from earlier that morning came out to find me. She spotted me and looked so excited that I couldn't help but smile at her.
"Hey there! GREAT news!! We got ___ million!!" (I can't remember the exact number, whoops!)
"Oh wow, that is great news!"
"It is, it is. And they are in great shape! Swimming and active!" Oookay, this lady can calm down any time now. Everyone in here can hear her, she's so excited! How embarrassing... And ohmygosh, that poor family of that girl that had to have the hysterectomy... I  hope they aren't hearing all of this!
"What we did was wash them. And then did this procedure that basically watered them down, so they can freeze. Then I put them in their vials. There are six vials total." I kind of wish this lady wasn't so excited over all of this... It's kind of weird.... At least she's passionate about her line of work?
"Great. Thanks so much."
"I will leave you with this paperwork, and then they will call you back once he wakes up. If you have any questions about anything, feel free to call!"
The surgery was a success...I got my phone out to tell our moms that the surgery went well. Then I sent a text to a couple friends about how odd it was that the nurse was so excited about the final count. They agreed with me, of course.
"Mrs Crabb?" Oh that's the nurse from the surgery...
"Over here..." I got up and walked to her.
"Daniel isn't awake yet, but he will be any minute, I thought you could come back and wake him up."
"HA!! I can never wake him up! Unless I'm trying to be quiet so I DON'T wake him up..."
"My husband is the same way!" I like this nurse!!
She led me back to the bed where Danny was, and I tried to wake him up.
"Danny.... Danny! Babe... Hey!" He rustled around, opened his eyes, shook his head and closed them again.
"No no no, you don't get to go back to sleep! It's time to wake up."
"Ugh, I need more pain medicine." I don't think I've ever heard that out of his mouth.. Uh oh.
I got the nurse, and she gave him a pill.
"Don't go back to sleep. You're supposed to be awake. And I can't carry you out of here."
"Ohhhh, you don't think you could?" Look at that smirk!
"Shush. Come on, open your eyes. Wake up!"
"Fine, fine! I'm up!"
Another nurse came in and told Danny about the final count, and gave us the same papers I had in my hand. I guess they like to make SURE you get the paperwork there. I had to sign a few papers saying I wouldn't let Danny drive home. We finally got to leave, and as we were walking out I looked over at Danny. Who looked as proud as can be.
"What are you smiling about?"
"Did you hear what the final count was? That's a LOT!" Oh you're kidding...
"You're such a MAN!"
"Don't say it like it's an insult!" Ha!
We got a good laugh and then got in the car to go home.
That night Danny was supposed to take it easy. He had an ice pack on him all day long, and by 4:00 he was getting up off the couch.
"What are you doing?"
"Going to school. I can't miss." What?!
"I THINK they will understand, you had surgery TODAY."
"I can't miss. What if I'm sick from chemo and miss for that? I'm feeling okay. I won't be welding or anything today. I need to go while I can, in case I have to miss later." Good point.
"Okay, but I still don't agree with his."
He went anyway, despite my arguments. Because that's Danny. He has an insane work ethic, and that carries over into his school.
When he got home he was exhausted, and we went to bed early. We both felt great about the day. We were one step closer to chemo. One step closer to beating this cancer. And one (necessary) step closer to having a child together.


That's it for today!! Remember to follow and SHARE!! Thanks for reading :)