Two months?!

Can this sweet baby REALLY be two months old?? Well... She is. I cannot believe how fast time is flying, seriously!!!

She holds her head up like a CHAMP. She's got a big ol' double chin. She loves to smile (especially for her Daddy), she laughs (especially for her Daddy) and she coos and talks like she's a gossip queen (especially for.. you guessed it). She's growing just like she should. And I'm back to work now. Which means part of my day is spent attached to a pump like a milk cow. So far I've been able to stay caught up with her, but we'll see how long that lasts! Hopefully for the entire time she nurses!! Fingers crossed!!

Sorry for the lack of updates... Life with an infant is amazing. Being back to work isn't terrible. But blogging in the evenings won't be happening again until she's on a good schedule and allowing me to have a few minutes to myself. And that'll only happen when I can stop staring at her while she sleeps... I'M AWFUL! ;)

I don't have time for much more of an update now... But I have to update you all on Danny. We've had a bit of a set-back/scare. I really don't want to go into too much detail yet, because frankly the facts scare me. But there is a suspicious lymph node that needs attention. So, it's about to get some attention! Dr J now has the scans he needs to review, Danny had lab work done, and we see Dr J Friday to discuss everything.
If he thinks everything is fine? Well we'll do a biopsy with Dr H and be sure. And also do a colonoscopy (because it's time for that anyway). If all THAT is good, then Danny will have ONE MORE appointment with Dr J, ever... That is all my hope, and I am sort of refusing to think of any other options!!!

We have some wonderful ladies coming into town this week to meet Miss Rys. We are going to have a little birthday celebration for me Friday night and I'm just really hopeful that we'll have good news to celebrate that day, too....

We've also got the Birthday Bash put on by OU Reproductive Medicine coming up. Ryssa will get to meet some of the people who helped bring her into this world and I couldn't be more excited!! I dearly miss my favorite nurse and can't wait for her to meet Rys! :)

So there was my quick update/post... Any positive thoughts, prayers, fire dances, good juju, whatever it is that you do, would be SO VERY MUCH appreciated! <3

Welcome Sweet Baby Girl!!!

RYSSA IS HERE!!! SHE'S HERE SHE'S HERE!!!

Sorry for the lack of updates. Especially if you're not on our facebook and therefore haven't seen the news. But... SHE IS HERE!!! Three days after my last post, she made her debut into this world!! Which is why I haven't been able to update. How anyone has time to do anything with a new baby in the home is beyond me. I don't want to put her down! But... I did. Just so I could type this up. I'm hoping I can get it done before her next feeding, but there's not much time between them these days so I've got to type fast!!

Want to hear the birth story? Not all the nitty gritty. Basically just the lead up to and a few small details about the birth itself?? If not, I'd stop reading if I were you. Because here goes!

Some of you know how absolutely petrified I was about going to the hospital thinking I was in labor just to get sent home. Why was I so afraid? Well because I just thought that would stink, for one. And also because my mom threatened me about it, haha. I was so scared, as a matter of fact, that I had a nightmare about it... Want to hear about it? It was Monday night, the 15th. And I was having the usual nightly contractions that didn't go away in the warm bathtub, but I knew they weren't close enough together to go to the hospital. But it was still in the back of my mind. I went to bed. And woke up in a cold sweat. I had a dream that we decided to go to the hospital to get checked out because of those contractions... Hung out for a bit... And were sent home. We were disappointed about it, but my nurse was super sweet. She sent Danny to get the car and she walked me outside... Only as soon as we walked outside we were in the middle of nowhere and then all of a sudden a guy was chasing me and the nurse with a chainsaw!! I couldn't figure out how to protect my belly and run and the guy caught me and chopped off my hair (what the heck??) and then started going for my legs, I'd already fallen and was trying to curl around my belly, and then.... I woke up. SO SUPER FREAKY.
The next day, Tuesday, I was telling my friend Jamie about the bizarre dream. And we decided it really showed how scared I was of being sent home from the hospital because it wasn't time. I then looked up the dream meaning in a dream dictionary and it said "To see a chainsaw in your dream indicates that something drastic is about to happen." Ohhh really?? Well, that was exciting at least...

For days my dogs had been acting weird. Pixie would sit and STARE at us. Not blinking at all. Just staring. Staring staring staring. Zeus wouldn't leave my side. Zeus generally doesn't care much about being by me. He loves attention from anyone and is excited almost all of the time and doesn't sit still. But the days before, he wouldn't leave me. Always in my feet or with his head touching me. I tried to google if other people's dogs were acting weird before labor kicked in, and as usual with google, I found people who said their animals did and others that said their animals acted no different. So. No big light bulb there.

Tuesday at work I was pretty miserable. My tailbone hurt. My contractions were there but not bad enough to warrant leaving work or going to the hospital. My mom came out of her office and REQUESTED THAT I NOT GO INTO LABOR THAT NIGHT because she needed some rest. I laughed at her, but really didn't think I'd be going into "real" labor any time soon. I just wanted it to be baby doc appointment day so I could see if I had made any progress at all.

That evening I wanted comfort food. Panera, mac n cheese. And I wanted ice cream, from Braums. I just wanted yummy fave foods after feeling so awful all day. So that's what we did. When we got home my contractions kicked up again, right on time. And I got in the tub. The tub didn't make them go away. Quite opposite in fact. I decided to get out and lay in bed, on my side. I knew something was off as soon as I laid down. Things just didn't feel normal, they didn't feel right. I was feeling more pressure than ever... and I was scared. Danny was in the living room playing his game and I just felt like I needed him in our room with me. I couldn't be alone. I NEEDED him in there. So I asked him to please finish up his game and get in there. He turned his game off and came in there with me and asked what was wrong. I told him and he asked if we needed to go to the hospital, which of course I refused because I was terrified.
And then the contractions got bad. I was playing a game on my phone and I just couldn't handle it anymore. I couldn't play the game. I couldn't think. I could do nothing other than try to deal with the pain and pressure. Danny made the call, we were headed to the hospital. I grabbed my bag, which didn't have the last minute items in it that I had planned on throwing in on the way out the door. Oh well. I grabbed the camera. And we were off. I sent a quick text to some people telling them we were heading in and that I would let them know if they were keeping me.

Danny drove us to the birthing center. We parked. My paperwork all said to leave everything in the car, so we put everything in the trunk except my hospital gown, which I clutched like a lifeline.  We walked in and got checked in, and a nurse came and got us. We went to room 14, She handed me a gown to change into.
"Ummm, actually, I brought my own if that's okay?"
"You brought your own hospital gown?"
"Yeah..."
"Well... Okay I guess." Geez, rude much?
She left to get me some water and let me change. Danny helped me, as I was in the middle of a contraction. And then I sat up on the bed. The nurse came back and hooked me up to some monitors, and explained to Danny what they did. I tried to listen. I didn't catch much. They watched my contractions. Every 5-10 minutes. The nurse took some more info and then left us alone. I tried to lay there and relax, but it was hard. My friend Janice told me to relax through the contractions by not clenching up my hands and arms and such. So I tried desperately to not clench. I still clenched. At the 30 minute mark the nurse came back in and asked if I wanted to walk around. I did, but I didn't want to walk the halls. I just wanted to walk around the room. So that's what I did... And the contractions almost stopped. Sitting up and/or walking just basically cut them off. I had a few more, and they were ROUGH ones, and I tried shaking my arms so I wouldn't clench. I tried leaning on the bed to get relief. Nothing worked. The nurse came back at the 1 hour mark to check me.
"No change..." Yeah, because I was walking and that slowed everything down. I was doing better when I was laying down relaxing...
"Okay... So. Now what?"
"Well I will call your doctor to see if she wants us to keep you or see if you can go home." If I can go home? I don't want to go home. I CAN SEE MY CONTRACTIONS. THEY ARE REAL. KEEP ME HERE.
She left the room and I looked over at Danny... I knew this was it, I knew they were going to send me home. Exactly what I wanted to avoid...

And in walked the nurse...
"Okay I talked to Dr ___."
"Dr who??"
"Dr ___, he's the on call dr, your doc isn't on call tonight." That doctor isn't even at College Hill. Who is that doctor? I DON'T EVEN KNOW THAT PERSON.
"Okay..."
"And he said you can go home. He said to give you an Ambien so you can sleep." No. Absolutely not. Does he want me to sleep through my entire labor and give birth at home??
"Do I have to? I can't handle meds well. And I am sure that's too strong."
"Well, it's that or Benedryl. It's just so you can get some rest. The rest will probably stop your contractions..." No it won't, resting is what makes them worse... "OR, it will relax your body and allow the contractions to do the work they are supposed to be doing." That makes slightly more sense...
"Okay. Well, just the benedryl then."

The nurse went to get my benedryl and I looked at Danny, who looked downright irate.
"So what are we supposed to wait for then? Your contractions are close enough for you to be here. What are we supposed to do at home?" Good questions...
"I don't know love..."
The nurse came back with my benedryl, and Danny asked her these questions.
"Well, you guys can come back when the contractions are 3-7 minutes apart. Right now they are 4-9." Seriously? They need to be ONE MINUTE CLOSER TOGETHER for me to come back? What is the POINT of going home??
"Okay."
"Or if she starts bleeding. Not spotting, spotting is normal since I checked her..." I've never spotted from being checked before, why would I now?
"So we will probably be back tonight, then?"
"Well this benedryl will either stop the contractions completely and you won't be back for days or weeks, or it'll kick it all into high gear and I'll see you in two hours..."

Ha....

We went home. I called my mom and told her we got sent home. I told her what the doctor gave me, and who the doctor was. Which ticked her off because he was the doctor that delivered two of my nephews and she didn't like him. Heck, after giving me a benedryl and sending me home, I DIDN'T LIKE HIM EITHER.
We went home and I just wanted to sleep. Sleep? Right... Benedryl generally knocks me the heck out. But not that night. As soon as I got into bed, BAM, hard core intense contractions. So so bad. Oh gosh they hurt.
Danny fell asleep next to me so I tried to be quiet and deal with them, since obviously they weren't "real" or whatever. Contraction, sleep, contraction, sleep, contraction, no sleep, contraction, try to catch a breath, contraction....
"Danny, I can't do this..."
"Babe, it's a little late for that. You kinda have to." I need meds. I need more than a benedryl. I NEED RELIEF.
Contraction... breathe... contraction... breathe... contraction, can't catch my breath...
"That's it..." Oh, he's still awake?
"What?"
"Those aren't even 3 minutes apart. We are going back." Oh my gosh I felt like they were close but I thought that was just me...
"Okay..."
I got out of bed and changed clothes, Danny put his contacts back in... And while I was standing up, guess what? No contractions. We got into the car, I called my mom, who didn't answer...
"My mom isn't answering... Ugh..." CONTRACTION... Nausea. Oh good gracious don't throw up in the car don't throw up in the car don't throw up in the car... Whew. Done. Relief.
I tried calling my mom again, and this time she woke up and answered. We talked, through a couple contractions, and she said this was the real thing, especially with the nausea. She was ready to head to the hospital right then. I told her to wait.
The rest of the way to the hospital wasn't bad. The contractions almost stopped completely. Danny noticed.
"Why do they stop when we're in the car? Or when you're standing up? They were so close when we were laying down... They're going to send us home again...."
I couldn't think, so I couldn't answer...

We made it back to the birthing center... And a few steps from the car, I lost it. And by "it," I mean my dinner, or dessert, or the water I was drinking all night. I don't know. I just know I threw up the whole way to the front door. Danny offered to get me a wheel chair and I refused, I could walk... It would just take a while and I needed breaks.
We finally made it inside and the same receptionist seemed happy to see us back.
"Back again? Are we ready this time?"
"Yeah... and uhh... I need something to throw up in..."
A look of panic went over the lady's face... but instead of getting me a bucket or a trash can or anything, she got my paperwork. Danny sat me down on a couch and went to look for something for me to puke into, while I tried to breathe AND NOT PUKE. He had to stop and sign my papers for me. And by then the nurse was there to get us. She got a wheel chair, and loaded me up. While I again tried not to puke....

This time we went to room 20. Danny had to help me into my hospital gown and pack away my clothes. I couldn't function. I couldn't do anything. All I could do was try to breathe through the contractions, that took everything from me.
The nurse hooked me up to the monitors and she and Danny gawked at how much more intense the contractions were. She checked me, and I was at a 4.
"Congratulations, today is the day. You are at a 4 and are in active labor. You can have your epidural any time now if you want it."
"Now. I want it now. Please."
She called the lady for my epi while another nurse came in.
"Hey Destiny, I'm ___. I looked through your chart. This is an IVF baby?" It says that in my chart? What chart? The chart that would have just gotten started a few hours ago when we were here? Where does it SAY this stuff at??
"Yeah, yeah she's an IVF baby..."
"I know how that goes... Wanting a baby so bad and having to have help. My baby was an IUI baby. Not quite as invasive... but still hard work." Oh. Wow. I love this lady already.
"Aww, congratulations on your baby. Did you do your treatments here?"
We talked a bit, between contractions when I could function, about who her dr was here. She had a dr that a good friend of mine is seeing now, which made me feel good. I really bonded with her. I knew her shift would change in less than 2 hours but I wanted her to stay there with me the whole time. She rocked my socks.

The lady with the magical medicine came and talked to me about the epidural, the risks, etc. I was set up to get my IV and she was going next door to check on another patient, and I'd get my epi when she got back... She was back within minutes because the patient next door had already delivered. She'd only been there an hour before me!!! So this lady stuck around until my IV was in and I was ready for the epi.
"I do have one question. Just one."
"Okay, what's that?"
"Will this thing RUN OUT?!"
"Ohh no. If it gets close, we just add more. Don't you worry about that."
"Okay, good. That was my only fear."
And then it was time. I had to sit on the edge of the bed and hang my arms down. Danny sat in front of me and I rested my feet on his legs... And then I had to puke.
"I'm gonna throw up..."
"NOT ON ME" and WHOOSH Danny shot back. My favorite nurse turned away, too... But to get me something to throw up in. I can't even remember if I threw up or just dry heaved. But eventually I was ready for the epidural.
Don't move Destiny, don't move. You watched video of this, you know what to expect. Don't move. Don't move.
I was shaking from the contractions, literally shivering. And BAM I felt a pinch/burn/SOMETHING and I had no control over my body because it was in the middle of a contraction and I was shivering and I jerked. Everyone freaked out, I freaked out. Danny put me in a vise hold basically, and my nurse grabbed a hold of me. She told me to squeeze her arm. So I did. I have sharp nails so I KNOW I was hurting her. So instead of focusing on anything else, I could only focus on what I was doing to her poor arm. But I couldn't let go either.
"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so sorry I'm hurting your arm I'm so so sorry I'm so sorry."
"Shhh it's okay, don't worry about it. It's fine."  No it's not, why can't I let go?? Gosh!
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."
Done. We're done. There's no more burning. It's over. But I still feel the contractions. How long does this take to work? I NEED RELIEF MY GOSH.
"We're just going to tape everything down now."
"How long until this kicks in?"
"It will be in effect in about 20 minutes." Whew, 20 minutes. I need to hang on for 20 minutes.

Not even 5 minutes later I was checked again.
I couldn't have done much in the 30 minutes or so it had been since being checked before, right? Especially since I could still feel everything going on... Maybe I'll be at a 5 or 6 now. Wouldn't that be crazy...
"Okay, you are at an 8, 100% effaced."
"What?"
"What?"
"What?!"
Yeah, nobody in that room believed what they heard from the nurse who checked me.
"Yeah, an 8. It's going quick."
OH. MY. GOSH. I have got to tell everyone so they don't miss this!!!!
I sent a text, and got some pretty funny responses. Danny's sister couldn't believe I was still texting (I wasn't for much longer after that), everyone else was afraid they wouldn't make it. Our amazing friend and photographer was hauling rear to get there so she wouldn't miss anything...

It was only a few minutes later when people starting filing in. Family, friends. Everyone. Surrounded by love and comfort... My epi had kicked in and I had some relief, although I could still feel immense pressure with each contraction, it wasn't pain. Just hard to breathe through. And I was beyond exhausted since I had only gotten about 10 minutes of sleep between contractions at home.
A lady came in to ask me some questions and she talked very quietly. Too quietly. And it was far too loud in my room. I couldn't hear her, and I couldn't hear myself think about any answers I needed to be telling her. So I sort of snapped about it being too loud. Instant quiet...
We finished our q and a session, and I asked her if MY doctor would be doing my delivery since it was now business hours so she wouldn't have to be the on call doc. She said yes, and she left. A bit later a nurse (my fave nurse was long gone) asked that everyone leave the room so I could nap. Oh sweet sweet relief to my ears, A NAP. I would need energy and I wouldn't have it if I couldn't get some sleep. So out everyone went. I had someone in there with me at all times, but people took turns and those that were in there were quiet. At one point my mom was in there and was asking how I was doing.
"Mom I can't do this. I can't do this with all those people in here."
"What?! Destiny, you've got to decide that quick. So they know and you aren't saying so as you are about to push."
"I just, I couldn't even hear that one lady. And I couldn't think. And there was just too much going on. I have to be able to concentrate, I have to be able to THINK. I have to have energy. And I can't do that when the whole room is that loud."
"I know. But when it comes time for that, believe me, nobody is going to be chatting away. Everyone will also be focused on the same thing you're focused on."
"I don't know. They can be in there for now. But if it gets loud, I'll tell them to get out."
"That's fine Des."
"Ugh...."
I asked my nurse if I could turn to my left side. That was most comfortable.
"Sure. It's best to keep you flipping back and forth anyway. It keeps the progress going."
So she and my mom helped me flip...
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEP
What on earth... What's wrong? Did a wire come loose?
"Destiny I need you to flip back over, FAST." Oh my God. That's Ryssa. Something is wrong. Something is wrong with her. I CAN'T GET FLIPPED OVER.
"I need help."
"Come on, we've got to get you over fast..." Fast fast fast, I need to do this fast, dang it, Rys PLEASE BE OKAY.
Finally I got back to my right side. I was uncomfortable, but the beeping stopped. I couldn't see the monitor, but the nurse said she was fine now. Her heart rate had plummeted.
"Does that mean the cord is wrapped around her neck?"
"Ummm, not necessarily. But if it is, that's totally normal. They handle that daily. Really, it happens more often than not. Now here's the oxygen. Keep this on." Oh dear lord, please let this be a safe delivery. Please let Rys be okay and STAY okay.
Flash flash flash. The lights were flickering over on the wall opposite my bed. Nobody was near the switch, and none of the other lights flickered at all...
"What the heck?"
"Mom, what was that?"
"I don't know..."
"Mom..."
"What?"
"I bet it was uncle Ray... Doing something silly when I'm just about to lose my mind. Letting me know it'll be okay..."
"That wouldn't surprise me at all. You know if he was still alive, he'd be up here too."


I slept on and off for a long time. They ended up having to break my water and I went from an 8 to a 7 1/2. The doctor that broke my water looked younger than me. He probably was younger than me. I vaguely remember getting checked again and I was at a 9. And then before long people had started filtering back in. It was getting loud again. They wanted to check me again so the room cleared out. I was at a 10!!! My nurse called my dr, who was doing a C-section. Official orders were to let me "labor down" and start pushing at 11:15.
It's almost time!! I AM ABOUT TO HAVE A BABY!!!!

That's when things got a little crazy. People starting filing in, other nurses and people and this "push team" I think is what the lady said. And I didn't know where Danny was. He wasn't in there. I would be pushing in 10 minutes, did he know they said I'd start pushing at 11:15??
My dad was by my head at the time before he had to leave the room, but I wanted my HUSBAND.
"Where the ___ is my husband?!"
"He's coming..."
"Does he know I am going to be pushing in a few minutes?!"
"Yes, he will be right here."
And then the nausea hit. Along with the tears. Before I knew it, Danny was there, in my face. Telling me to get control. Telling me to breathe. Instant relief. Everything would be okay, Danny was there....

Beep beep beep...
"What's that?"
"That machine right there..." MY EPIDURAL MACHINE?!?!
"Yeah, you're out..."
"MY EPIDURAL RAN OUT?!?!"
"It's okay, it stays in you for 2 hours so you don't need any more, you won't feel this." Unless I push for more than two hours which is entirely possible!!

Practice pushing came next, just after 11:20. The push team told me what to do, and at my next contraction it was time to put it into action. Contraction, breathe, push once for 8 seconds, take a breath, push for 8 seconds, take a breath, push for 8 seconds. That third and final push? Cue vomit. My mom was shoving a bucket at my face but it was jamming into my neck so I couldn't breathe and I couldn't throw up. I'm pretty sure that bucket almost decapitated me. And I said so. She switched out the big bucket for a different one (no help from the nurses on this front, my mom had to do all that by herself. Nice).
"I suck at this..." I can't even push without throwing up. Seriously. I suck.
And then I felt the urge to push again.
"I feel like I need to push. I need to push."
"Okay, go ahead sweetie." Go ahead? You nurses aren't even over here!
The panic must have showed on my face, Kristy and Jessica shot forward and grabbed my legs (where the nurses had been before but had disappeared from). I had told them they could be in the room if they stayed back and didn't get a good view. Boy did that change when it came time to push and no nurse was near to help me.
I pushed. And I threw up. And I couldn't breathe.
If I can't breathe... That means I'm not getting oxygen. If I'm not getting oxygen... Rys isn't getting oxygen. Oh my gosh I'm just making this all worse!! She already had an issue getting oxygen and now I suck and can't stop throwing up and it's going to make her lose oxygen!! WHAT AM I DOING?!
"Is she okay?! IS SHE OKAY??"
"Yes, hun, she's fine. She's fine. We can see it on the monitor, she's fine."
I. Suck. At. This. Get control Destiny damn it...
"She's got hair!" SHE'S GOT HAIR?! No way!! I didn't really believe it on the sonograms!! No way!!
"REALLY?! Are you sure?? She's really got hair?!" And I cried...
They offered me a mirror. I cussed before loudly saying no, which got a good laugh out of everyone in the room. They asked Danny if he wanted to see. I clutched his hand even tighter and MORE LOUDLY said no. Not cool. I didn't want him to see that!
My doctor showed up and got dressed. She wanted me to push 4 times instead of 3.
Four times?? I threw up during the third push before... How am I going to do four?!
But I did... I did 4 pushes.
"GREAT, one more time." One more time? I've only done like 3 rounds of pushes so far... One more time?? Is she lying to keep me motivated?
My contraction came and Danny was counting for me and I pushed with every ounce of my being. One more time, she said? Well one more time it was going to be.
"Okay DON'T PUSH DON'T PUSH." Don't push? What is she doing down there? What's going on? And then THERE SHE WAS. There was my baby girl... Who wasn't crying...
"Is she okay? Why isn't she crying? Is she okay??"
"She's fine, she's fine. Give her a second... Is Daddy cutting the cord?"
"Yes..."
Wait, where is Daddy? He's not by my head anymore... Oh, down there by Ryssa. Cutting the cord. What an amazing sight...
And THEN SHE CRIED. And cried and cried.
"11:50 am."

They put her right on me, rubbed her clean while she laid on my chest. No longer crying, but staring at me with beautiful, curious-looking eyes. I bawled and bawled.
This is my baby. This is the baby we worked so hard for. This is our baby. THIS IS MY BABY. Oh thank you God for this amazing little angel!!
Then it was time for skin to skin so they moved the towel they had placed her on, and continued doing whatever it was they do. Danny was by my head again, getting a good look at our amazing daughter.
Dr Cox finished up and came up to the head of the bed. She stuck her hand on Ryssa's back.
"You did great! Now I'm guessing... 6 pounds 2 ounces!" And then she was gone.

An hour of skin to skin. An hour of bonding with my baby with nobody else getting to take her away from me. An hour of her staring at me or being comforted by me. Absolutely amazing.

Eventually it was time for her weight and measurements. I closed my gown back up and twisted around so I could see.....
"6 pounds, 1.8 ounces, which the computer will automatically round to 6 pounds 2 ounces." HOLY CRAP Dr Cox was right!!! How did she do that?!
After the nurse was done getting Rys all taken care of, she handed her to Daddy. Cue more tears.


It was such an amazing day. I know I'm forgetting things... I will probably come back and edit this as I remember more little bits, so I have it for ever and ever.
Thank you all, for all of your support over the last year and a half. And for those of you who have been with us from day one. All of you. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. This baby girl is more loved than she knows. But we will be sure to tell her...

I found out later the next day that the lights flickering and me mentioning my Uncle Ray was actually quite bizarre. My mom called my Aunt Melba Thursday to tell her about the baby and she told her about the lights and me saying I thought it was him. Melba had been having a rough morning Wednesday, really missing Ray. She cried and prayed and wanted a sign from him. He didn't give her one, but he gave me one. She was so happy to hear about the lights and my reaction. I know Ray was there with me that day. Welcoming this sweet baby into the world too. I hope he had a hand in keeping her safe...


Oh... and my favorite nurse? She worked that night. She wasn't my nurse, but she came by to check on me. She held Ryssa. And told me how good of a job I did. She also helped reassure me about some pain I was in, and that I didn't HAVE to take the strong meds they were mentioning for me (they make me sick). I wish she could have been our nurse the whole time, or even for ONE more shift. But oh well. She didn't even have to come visit, and she did. And her wanting to hold Rys melted my heart :)

Less than two weeks left!!

Oh blogger... How I've missed you! Seriously! I miss the days when I could just sit and blog for hours. Now I'm lucky if I am functioning for hours by the time I get home from work. Mostly, I'm not. Mostly, I'm super tired. Or in a lot of pain. But today I am feeling okay. Today I get to blog!

I have some cancer stories to share. One written by my dear friend Mandi, about her dad. He passed away recently, and writing for the blog helped her come to terms with healing. I need to post the story, but I haven't been able to get through the whole thing because I'm naturally emotional and these hormones make it worse and I just turn into a mess every time I read it... I PROMISE it'll be posted soon.
I also have a follow up to a guest post from a few months ago that I need to post. I will hopefully get around to it this week.

I don't have any cancer updates regarding Danny. He has his next appointment scheduled for September. Right before my birthday. It'll be a stressful time for us, I'm sure. But I think things will continue to be great with his health :)


So... Pregnancy update! If you follow along on Facebook, you're already getting pretty constant updates. It's probably annoying you. Sorry if it is!
Last time I posted we had just under 7 weeks left until my due date... It's been so long since I've been on here that THERE IS LESS THAN TWO WEEKS until my due date now!! WHAT?! Where has the time gone? I mean, really.... I feel like we just went through IVF last month!

Miss Rys isn't here yet... Despite a few scares (and yes, they were scares, because it was too early!), she's still snuggled in tight. Okay. That's not entirely true. But she's still in there, that's what I'm trying to say!!

At my last dr appointment, my doc checked me and told me how things are progressing. And, well, progressing we are. Two weeks before I was dilated to 1 and my cervix was getting soft and mushy, the week before I was dilated to 1-2 and my cervix was "very mushy" and Rys was "RIGHT. THERE." This week? Well, this week I was dilated to a full 2, maybe a bit more. My effacement? Yeah, it's done. Can't get any thinner than that. "Paper thin" is what it is. 100%. Done. And Rys? She's so far down into the canal that it's causing all of my constant pain and pressure and there's essentially no way to help it except get her OUT. Doc said "The baby is ready. The baby is done. She's as far as possible. Now we're just waiting on your brain. Your brain needs to release oxytocin. Just a TINY bit. And once it does, you'll start dilating more. And once that starts? The rest is history." So, what are we waiting on? My brain. Unfortunately, my mom came with me to that appointment, so she heard all that, too. So now I am getting pressure to get my mind in this. No more denial for me. No more fighting off the contractions. No more trying to convince her to stay in. She's ready, she's more than ready. The only thing stopping her is my brain which hasn't triggered the release of oxytocin yet. My brain is generally not a problem. My brain is usually really dependable. I don't blame my brain.... Unfortunately everyone else does ;) When the doc had answered some of my mom's questions and asked if I had any, she went to leave. She then came BACK in and told me to make sure I have my bag packed.
My bag was finished up that night.

This weekend Danny and I went and got the curtains for her room's windows. And a piece of wood for under her mattress for the movement monitor. And a cute little box for all the little things that could easily get lost, to put in her stand-alone closet. When we got home, I went through all of her socks and bows and headbands and got them all organized... I came out of the nursery and Danny was rearranging the living room!! He had already started nesting earlier in the week but he kicked it into high gear yesterday. Moving furniture, sweeping. I couldn't sit there and watch, so I started to help by picking some stuff up. Organizing my books. Then after resting for a bit, I went back into the nursery and set up the movement monitor and positioned the video portion so I could see her... Well, so I could see the blanket that I was pretending was her for video-positioning-purposes. I then put all the clips on the curtain that will go around her stand alone closet. Today I ordered another corner piece for the wire curtain for it, per Danny's request. So it'll be a few days before that curtain is up. Maybe her window curtains will be up today though. We shall see.
When I'm done posting  I will play out my lives on Papa Pear on Facebook... And then I think I'll clean the kitchen. I want to get Ryssa's swing/bouncer put together. But I think we'll wait until she's here for that. It'll stay in the living room and I don't want the cats to think it's theirs before she gets here and stakes her claim on it!

That's about it... I'll do the update quiz thing now. And just know, all the answers are good for the last few weeks! :)

How Far Along:  38 weeks... WHOA! Full term!!

Total Weight Gain: Plus THREE.

Maternity Clothes: I've got some clothes from my sister in law, a super soft maternity/nursing dress, and my cozy clothes :)

Stretch Marks: Still none, allow me to knock on some wood ;) 

Sleep: Ohhh I love sleep. Sleeping on one side too long has gotten uncomfortable again though, that whole side gets super sore. And unfortunately my left side is really the only side I'm comfy on. So. It's a pain in the rear... Or more accurately in the hip.   

Best Moment This Week: Getting so much in her room done! And the amazing pedi I treated myself to.  

Miss Anything: Umm... I'm good, thanks!   

Movement: She's been really VERY quiet the last couple days.    

Food Cravings: Everything. All of my favorite things. Anything that doesn't give me awful indigestion (like Taco Grande).  

Anything Making You Queasy or Sick: I get nauseous randomly. And when my contractions are especially painful  

Gender: A wonderfully amazing baby GIRL, Ryssa

Labor Signs: Lots of contractions, but most are random. I had some good strong ones the other night for an hour, every 5-10 minutes. Danny asked if he needed to start the car, but I decided to take a warm bath.... And that put a stop to the contractions. So. Whatever.

Symptoms: A growing baby bump ;)

Belly Button In or Out:  It still hasn't popped ALL the way out :)

Wedding Rings On or Off: On and still loose unless I am hot and swollen 

Happy or Moody Most of the Time: Happy unless you tick me off. Then I stay mad at you for... ever. >>same

Looking Forward To: Meeting baby Rys!!!

7 weeks to go?! WHAT?!??!!

I came to update today... And I was like "hmmm, how many weeks am I again?" Yeah, because prego brain is still seriously happening... And because I'm kinda sorta totally in denial. WE ONLY HAVE SEVEN WEEKS UNTIL MY DUE DATE!!! Seven weeks?! Seriously?! No.. Not possible...

But, yet... Here we are. I guess technically it's Sunday so, 6 1/2 weeks left. Pardon me while I go throw up! Everyone keeps asking if I'm ready to be done being pregnant. If I'm just so ready for her to be here. Am I ready for her to be here? Well, yes. Of course I am. BUT I also am just still not of the mind that I will have to share her yet. Right now people can feel her from the outside but I'm the only that feels her constantly. The one that feels all the little jabs (and all the uncomfortable feelings). I'm the one that feels the weird sensations from the inside out. I love her and she loves me and I don't know why anyone else ever ever ever needs to touch her... Unless they want to change her diaper. I could hand over that duty... haha. But really, I KNOW that feeling will change. I KNOW that I will get to a point that I WANT help and need it and I will want to hand her over so I can take care of myself. But at this moment, I don't see that happening. I just don't. And it sort of kills me to think I have to share her. Even with Danny! She is his daughter too, and I KNOW he wants to help with everything with her... And all I can think is "they better hand her to me first... They better not try to hand her to anyone else but me... They better let me be the first to touch her. He cuts the cord, BUT I GET TO TOUCH HER." How selfish is that? Yeah. I'm a selfish person. I never thought I'd feel like this. But the thought of someone else getting to hold her first kills me. I know that if I have to have a C-section, that I will OBVIOUSLY WANT Danny to hold her first. I can't, and she needs a parent to hold her first. And I will love seeing him hold her. But. If I can hold her first? Well, I want to...
Am I just so done being pregnant? No.... No I'm not. It's been a rough one. Not as easy as so many people make it seem. I hurt, my back hurts, I have this new leg tingling thing, the nausea is back randomly, it's hard to breathe... And yet, I just don't feel that "get her OUT" feeling yet that so many people talk about. I love the  bond we have with her in me. I love putting my hand on my stomach and feeling her move to it to feel the warmth. Or kick it if my hand is cold. I love having her in my belly and knowing that, for right now, she's ALL MINE. Yeah, her Daddy is still her favorite... You can tell by the way she listens to him already. But, she's mine. Mine mine mine.

So many people complain about random people touching their bellies. I am fortunate and I haven't had to deal with that. EVERYONE that has touched my bump has asked first. And I don't have a problem with it. I know girls say "if you didn't put it here, don't touch it." Well, I suppose I could say that, too.... But.... A TON of people helped get her in here... A TON. So. My belly is open. I KNOW I'd feel different if some random stranger walked up to me and rubbed on my belly. But, that hasn't happened yet. So I'm a lucky one. Maybe I don't look inviting. I don't know. And I don't care. I like things the way they've gone and I hope they stay that way...

Everyone knows I've been a little miserable during these months. But, these last couple months have been blissful. I am more tired now than I was in first tri... But other than that, there are times I seriously forget I'm pregnant. I've been asked MULTIPLE times "So how far along are you?" or "When are you due?" And it takes me a second to realize these people are talking to me and that I AM PREGNANT and that I need to respond with the correct answer. One time I looked at the lady like she had lost her mind and said "I'm sorry, what?" And Danny touched my belly and said "She wants to know how many months  you have left babe." Oh. Oh YEAH. I'm pregnant!!! DUH!!! Can I blame that on pregnancy brain? Or is that an infertility thing? You go for so long thinking it will probably never happen and you give up home and now that it IS HAPPENING it just doesn't seem like real life?

But it is real life... Really real life. We did maternity pictures today. MATERNITY PICTURES. Yeah, you read that right. We still have some more to take, indoor ones that we will do next weekend. But we did maternity pics! Faith had a great time with them, and her favorite part was all the pics she took by herself (yeah, she even admitted it LOL).  I think I already know which pic is my favorite, so far... And it's a pic that doesn't show my face. HAHA!! I can't wait to see the finished product!! The pics were done by Crystal with Professor Photo. Sound familiar? Oh yeah... she did our fundraiser!! She ALSO is the one who put together our multiple garage sale fundraisers. AND she took over the cupcakes fundraiser when my regular cupcake-fundraiser-friend moved away. She has had a HUGE HAND in getting this baby in my belly. And she just keeps giving. Maternity pics now, and BIRTH STORY PICS when I'm giving birth!! :) She's so amazing!!

My last post mentioned how awful that day was with prego brain. Today my day has been awful because I AM SO COMPLETELY UNCOORDINATED RIGHT NOW. I'm not used to that. No, I'm generally not the most coordinated person on the planet... But this goes above and beyond the normal. We were getting around for pictures (and running just a couple minutes late) and I was helping Faith with her hair, in her room. She asked to see one of the charms in my charm necklace and I couldn't show her without opening up the locket. Instead of using my brain and thinking "I should take this off first..." I just plopped it into my palm and opened it... And OF COURSE a charm fell out. Which one? The July birthstone, meant for Ryssa. Cue instant tears that I had to control... I showed Faith the other side of the charm she'd asked about, and then she and I got on our hands and knees to look for the stone... No luck. I decided I would just have to buy a new one, and I got up and went to find a different shirt to wear (note, I never did find the tank top I had in my head... whatever. It's gone forever somewhere and I wore a different one lol). Danny saw my face and knew I was upset about something so I told him that I was an IDIOT and opened my locket while wearing it, thinking if anything fell out it would land in my hand... and it didn't. So, he stopped getting ready and went into Faith's room to look for it. And sure enough, my amazing husband found it. I do NOT know how. But he's always the finder of lost things. Always.
SO we got ready, running a bit late, and ran to my  parents' house. I needed to get a dress for Ryssa for pictures, and I needed to get my earrings that I'd let my niece borrow... We got there and I tried to put my earrings in... And I couldn't get them in. My dad offered to help but we were running late and I said no, that I would just try again in the car.... And I did. And I still couldn't get them in. So what do I do? I assume that my hole in my right ear is just too closed up for my bigger bulkier earring, and that I should just use Faith's earring since it's real gold anyway. So I ask to borrow her earring, which she promptly takes out... With me repeatedly telling her not to drop it or the back and to be careful... She didn't drop it. She handed it to me and I tried, unsuccessfully to get THAT earring in my ear. I finally gave up. We were parked so I asked Faith to get close so I could put her earring back in (she can take them out but can't put them back in)... And I try for a second and KER-PLUNK, I drop it. We searched and searched and couldn't find it. So Faith and I got out of the car and went to chat with Crystal and her hubby and kids while Danny looked for the lost earring... While standing around I tried AGAIN to get my earring in... Nope... So I just took my other earring out and gave up... And guess what? DANNY FOUND FAITH'S EARRING. Finder of all lost things I tell you!!
We did our pictures and then hung out for a while chatting, and then left the park. When we got home I got out my good earrings. And I tried AGAIN to get something through that stinkin' ear. No. Such. Luck. I had Danny help me.
"It's closed. I can see where the hole WAS. But, this won't go through. It's going to hurt. It's CLOSED." Just push it through dang it!!
"It's fine, it doesn't hurt... Just keep stabbing."
"Does this hurt?" Maybe a little....
"Nope, keep trying."
He asked if I had a piercing stud and I remembered that Faith did in her drawer of earrings. I asked Faith for her earrings and she brought them out, and the earrings I thought were the piercing studs really didn't look very sharp. BUT they were thinner since they were a children's earring. Danny tried to push it through. It wasn't working...
"Should I go get one of the needles from my fertility med box?"
"NO. No you should not..." Well, it would be sharper than these earrings are!! Geez!
"Alright...."
"This is gonna hurt..." It already does, ouch.
POP
"There, it's through. Keep this earring in for a while and let your ear calm down before you take this out and put your own in it..." Ouch ouch ouch. I'm not touching that ear.



That's my day TODAY and it's not even over... Yesterday was a bad day for Danny. He worked his tush off moving stuff around and setting up the internet in the living room instead of the computer room (which is now the nursery). And then he got to painting. He took a break and my cat snuck into the room and got into the paint... Yep, little tiny cat paw prints were ALL OVER the floor. He was mad... But the cat survived. I cleaned her painted paws up (while bleeding because she didn't WANT to be cleaned up), and all is well....
And THEN, while moving my dresser, he realized too late that my mirror wasn't attached... And BOOM goes the mirror. Broken into pieces. :( Which upset ME because I've had that set for ever... And ticked him off because he did it.
But you know what? HE FINISHED IT. Well, not finished up to his standards. But the paint is ON THE WALLS and I love love love love love it!!! He is going to go back through and do whatever it is he thinks needs done. But after working so long and hard on it yesterday/last night, he won't be doing anything else in there today. He deserves a break! :)

Everything is really coming together now. Other than blinds/curtains and a bookshelf, we've got everything we need!! Our crib came in (thanks to the gift cards from our family and friends). My friend Denna gave us the high chair. I ordered the crib mattress with another gift card. I ordered the stroller thanks to the money given to us at the shower. And last but not least, I put off ordering the swing/bouncer combo because I wanted it to go on sale... I started a Target registry because I found one there I liked and I had some gift cards for there to use. I knew I could start the registry and they'd give me a coupon code to use to get 10% off... So I was waiting for that... Then what did I get in the mail? Not the 10% off coupon... BUT A $20 GIFT CARD FROM TARGET for starting the registry. Thank you very much. I got online and signed up for the baby deals on their site and I got a 10% off code for an online order. So... Thanks to gift cards from family and Target, and the coupon code, I saved almost $100!!!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?! Sometimes (rarely) it pays off to procrastinate!

Time for the weekly update that I have been slacking on... Just know that week 32 was the same as this week, k? :)

How Far Along:  33 weeks

Total Weight Gain: Negative one... Doc says that's fine though because MY TESTING CAME BACK FINE and I "just have good genes." :)

Maternity Clothes: Still wearing what I've got and all the cozy clothes and I have some clothes from my sister in law :)

Stretch Marks: So far so good!

Sleep: I now know the term pregnancy insomnia. I get to sleep just fine, but I wake up and stay up and can't get back to sleep for hours... Stinks.  

Best Moment This Week:  Doing the maternity pics and Ryssa getting the hiccups while Faith and Danny had their hands on my belly. PERFECT timing!! haha  

Miss Anything: Umm... I'm good, thanks!   

Movement: I feel her a lot less often (doc says that's because she's sleeping more and more) but when I do, WHOA, she's stronger than ever!!   

Food Cravings: Ice cream, strawberry banana smoothie, chocolate covered strawberries, brownies, chocolate cake with chocolate icing... Do I need to keep going? Of all of those cravings, I've only caved on the ice cream. And that's because my doc TOLD me to eat ice cream to help with the weight and because it's got calcium!

Anything Making You Queasy or Sick: I get nauseous when I eat too fast/too much/too heavy... And then some other random times.  

Gender: A wonderfully amazing baby GIRL, Ryssa

Labor Signs: Nope, unless you count Braxton Hicks?

Symptoms: A growing baby bump ;)

Belly Button In or Out:  The top part, that was pierced, sticks out. But the rest is in. It's weird.  

Wedding Rings On or Off: On and still loose unless I am hot and swollen 

Happy or Moody Most of the Time: Happy unless you tick me off. Then I stay mad at you for... ever. >>same

Looking Forward To: Seeing the maternity pics, and finishing up the nursery!!  

Prego Brain... You stink!

Looky looky who is posting. It's me! I know it's been a while... Again... I really just can't seem to keep up with my own mind these days, let alone keep everyone else updated. WHICH I AM UNBELIEVABLY SORRY FOR!!!

But here I am, ready to update you. I have about 2 hours free, and I plan on using the time to give you all the wonderful (and some not-so-wonderful) details about the last couple weeks!!

So, I left off the week before my first baby shower... I think? Oh gosh, I can't remember. I could look, but that would take up precious time, and really... does it matter? I know I haven't updated since... So that's where I shall start!!

So... My big baby shower, with tons of family and friends, was May 11th. It was held at my old high school (thanks to Pammy-Pam who arranged that for us!!), and boy has it changed!! I walked in and was in awe at the differences... It took me a bit to get into the "help get stuff done" mode because I just couldn't stop looking around. But, I got snapped out of that and started helping. We got the tables set up and decorated, the food set out, and people started showing up. And showing up. And showing up. It seemed like every time I looked up there were more people there I needed to talk to. And I didn't feel like I really had much of a chance to talk to ANYONE for more than a quick hello and thanks for coming. Did I mention there were a ton of people there?

We had SO MUCH FOOD. Sandwiches, chips, dips, roll-ups, fruit kabobs, cupcakes, cake, chocolate treats... I'm sure there's more I'm forgetting to mention. SO MUCH FOOD. Food is important to my family, haha.

We passed out the baby shower games, which were fun ones! And I got started opening gifts. I'm not exactly the fastest gift-opener in the world. As a matter of fact, it's well known in my family that I'm the slowest. So I made it a point to try to speed that up... And despite my best effort, I just couldn't. I just could NOT go any faster than I did. Each gift needed attention, each gift giver needed a special thank-you at the time. And of course, each gift needed to be recorded on a neat list for thank you notes!
So you know what that means? People got bored. I heard less and less "oooohs" and "aawwws." And you know what? That made me happy!! People were chatting and eating and having a good time doing whatever it was they wanted to do, and I was no longer the clown at the center of the circus. Being the center of attention isn't something I'm good at. I had the freedom to touch every item in every gift, rub on all the soft blankets, fight back the tears that came with the special gifts... And I was able to say a quick thank you to the giver of each gift (if they were still there) when I opened their gift. It was just the way I like it. If you're reading this and you were there and you are thinking "Oh  man I was so bored," I am sorry. You totally could've spent the time googling the game answers though ;)

So... We got a TON of stuff. A ton of absolutely adorable stuff. So many things that were much needed. And every single thing was something we love and are thankful for. We are beyond grateful. And SO SO blessed!!

Mother's Day was the next day, and I woke up to cards from both Faith and Danny... And three of the most adorable onesies for Baby ever. They were quite obviously picked out by Danny. And so of course I bawled like the hormonal pregnant lady I am (and yes, I am a crier even when I'm not hormonal... shhhh).
We then went to lunch with Danny's mom, grandma, aunt, sister and nieces. We of course then had to go see my mom, and while we were there we went through everything from the shower. We laid everything out and took pictures. My mom counted all the onesies (over 60, ha! But a wonderful range of sizes!) and got a close look at each gift. And I made a plan for getting the other items we needed, with the amazing gift cards and money we were gifted.


That week went by super fast, and soon it was the next Friday... And two of my online-group friends made it into town for a little gathering/shower. The three of us had never met (although we've all met other girls from our online group), but it was like we'd been around each other for years... Not from different parts of the country!
Friday night we went to dinner and just talked and talked and talked. It was absolutely fabulous!!
Saturday we went to my parents' house, where we held our little shower. The online girls had sent some gifts there for me and for one of the girls who was visiting (who is just a couple weeks behind me, pregnancy wise!!). We spent a few hours just chatting. And we skyped with another friend who couldn't be there. SO MUCH FUN. She was on the computer with us as we unwrapped our gifts. Danny and I are beyond blessed, have I mentioned that?? We got amazing gifts at that shower, too.
That night the three of us (Danny wasn't interested lol) went to Mosley Street Melodrama which was hilarious! They were doing a show mocking the Food Network challenge shows (namely Chopped, my favorite!!). And then did a sort of Name That Tune with food items in the song title or artist name. It was a blast!!!
We said our goodbyes that night, and Danny got lots of hugs from the ladies when he picked me up. We got in the car to leave and I told him how awesome it was to have them here, and he told me how lucky WE are to have them in our lives. And he is so right.
So many people don't understand the whole online friends thing. But, oh well. I met these ladies while planning our wedding in 08 and 09. They were all on the Brides forum. I think we've all (or mostly all) left those boards, but we stay connected through Facebook. These ladies helped me through Danny's cancer battle. Especially his diagnosis. I wasn't alone "in real life," of course, but I still needed support, and they were there. Over the years some of us have divorced, gotten remarried, started planning their wedding, lost loved ones, been dealt blow after blow... And we are all still there for each other. We know who we can count on, who we can vent to. And who will help pick us up when we are down. Those are my Bride girls. And they've helped us SO VERY MUCH over these last years. And they still are helping us.
And now that I'm crying, I will move on with how things went after they left! ;)

Sunday Laura got on a plane and Janice got in her car to head back South... Both trying to beat the storms. I moped around a bit because I missed them already (and yes I know I hadn't even MET them in person before then, do not judge me!). And then the storms started to roll in... And boy did they! We went to my parents' house, because it's about the safest place for us... When, really, their house was right in the path of a tornado! The tornado lifted and turned JUST SLIGHTLY, and we were safe. But it was scary and I was not a happy camper. I was thankful, though, that we made it through just fine.

Then we get to this past week. Monday. I was about to leave for my dr appt when I got a call from the office. I had evidently failed my 1 hour glucose test. OH JOY. I freaked the heck out, and just NEEDED to talk to my doctor about it. Thank goodness I already had an appointment, otherwise I would've driven myself crazy waiting to see her.
At my appointment I stepped on the scale, FULLY INTENDING TO SEE A BIGGER NUMBER than the time before.... And.... nope. That number was exactly the flippin' same. How is that even possible when I am quite obviously getting bigger? I am moving up in sizes in clothes. My belly is stretching beyond belief... And yet there is no weight gain? Not even .1 of a pound?? Seriously?
I saw my doctor and we talked about my failing the glucose test. Danny had some questions that she answered... And she told me I definitely needed to do the 3 hour test. Did I want to? No. But I made it through the 1 hour... How much worse could the 3 hour be? Really...

After leaving the appointment, I checked my phone. A tornado was in South OKC.
South OKC?? What?! That's where our fertility doc is. THAT'S WHERE OUR FROZEN EMBRYOS ARE!!!! Our popsicle babies. Our beautiful little chances at life. They are there!! Were they safe? Was the med center getting destroyed?!
The radio was no help. They weren't talking about it. So, I had to get a hold of my friend down there. We had discussed earlier in the day that they were supposed to get severe weather, and that she'd left work because of it... And she assured me that the tornado had passed through, and had stayed south of the city itself. But it had hit Moore. Moore, a city we had driven through multiple times. Eaten at. A really nice area... Devastated.
We picked Faith up and went home where we turned on the tv.. and lo and behold there was finally coverage. Coverage I probably shouldn't have watched. I cried as I watched the firefighters and other first responders search through the rubble at the school for the kids they knew were trapped. Cried as I watched the dog pick up a scent and lead them where they needed to be...
My heart broke for Moore. And it also broke for the other Oklahoma cities and towns hit by the tornadoes the night before...

The rest of the week went by pretty fast. I was sick one day. And Thursday I had to do my 3 hour glucose test, which was... well... It just was.
I got to my primary care doc's office and they pricked my finger to check my fasting blood sugar. Anything below 95 was passing, 80 was the goal. My level? 62. Yeah, super low. I was feeling dehydrated, because they said I couldn't have water. And the nurse proved that I was, because she couldn't get a vein. Rollin' rollin' rolling. That's what my veins were doing. She used the smallest needle they had, and dove into my forearm. Ouch! But it worked. All the pokes and stabs and roaming around with the needle seriously set off my nausea though. So did the fact that it was about a billion degrees in that lab! I said I was feeling hot and the nurse said she could tell I was flushing. She got me a fan... And smelling salts. Smelling salts? I didn't even know those were REAL. She said they smell like rotten pee (oh lovely!) so she didn't want to have to use them... I didn't want her to, either!
I managed to drink the nastiest drink ever. And they put me in a cold room, in a bed. With a fan. Ahhhh, so much better.
I was then pricked in the finger and had a vial of blood taken at 30 minutes, 1 hour, 1.5 hours, 2 hours and 3 hours. I was in a lot of pain, and the nausea and flushing came back each time she had issues catching a vein. But, I made it through without passing out. Go, me!
My numbers needed to be:
Fasting: <95
1 hour: <180
2 hour: <155
3 hour: <140

I don't know my numbers FOR SURE because they go off of the actual vials they took. But I know what each finger prick showed... And those were:
Fasting: 62 PASSING
1 hour: 162 or 169, I don't know which... PASSING
2 hour: 153... Technically PASSING, but, the finger prick isn't exactly the same as what the vial will show. Will it actually be higher than that? Or lower than that? It's CLOSE... Too close for comfort. And we are depending on that number. Why? Well because I'm only allowed to FAIL one of the numbers... And...
3 hour: 151. MAJOR FAIL.

So, it all depends on that real number from hour two. If we are basing this off of finger pricks, then I passed. But, we aren't. So, we shall see. Who knows when.


This weekend has already flown by. I can't believe it's already Sunday night.
Saturday morning started out... rough. My dog peed on my foot because I couldn't get all the locks unlocked fast enough to let him outside. I slipped while stepping out of the tub (from washing my feet from the pee!!), but caught myself. I got water dumped on my head from the shower head while trying to clean the tub (because there were pee germs in there!!). And we were running a couple minutes late trying to get to our rescheduled 3D sonogram.
However, the day turned around!
Baby cooperated!! We got to see her gorgeous face. Her adorable feet. Her fingers (with fingernails!!). AND HER HAIR!!! She's got so much of it, according to the sono! I thought she would be bald, like I was as a baby. I've had heartburn but not nightly. Or even consistently. At the initial 3d sono weeks ago the tech said she had a "tiny bit of hair." And I figured that would be it. But a lot changes in 4 weeks I guess. Because the tech said that Baby has a lot more hair than most babies she sees at this point in the pregnancy!! YEA!! She's going to have her daddy's hair!!! :)

After the sono we went and picked up some last minute items for Faith's birthday party. And then surprised her with an inflatable slip n slide that we'd rented. She LOVED it. As did my nieces and nephews that were able to come. Even I enjoyed it (I was pushed down it, on my tush, don't worry!). Her party was a definite success :)


Today has been a pretty awful day. But hey, we've still got tomorrow, right?
Pregnancy brain has been messing with me for the past few weeks, but it's gotten pretty bad the last few days. I have been a source for entertainment for Danny, who gets a kick out of me being forgetful. I'm not used to feeling dumb. I'm usually organized and on top of things. But not lately. And he just thinks it's so funny.
Until today. Until HE had to suffer through my brain issues. Ha ha Danny, ha ha. Not so funny now, is it?
His day started out particularly bad. So he was grumpy. But, I had a 20% off coupon that was expiring in a couple days... And we had gift cards to use towards the crib. Danny was going to cover the rest of the cost and he had the money so I figured we should go get the crib.
Naturally, I assumed the crib would be in stock. Why? I don't know. I just assumed. Yeah. Dumb.
We went to the store, and I made sure I had my coupon IN HAND. I reminded myself about a million times to GRAB THAT COUPON. So. I had the coupon. Yea. First things first, I wanted to go grab two bibs. Well, three. But they didn't have one of them. So I got the other two. One says "I'm the little sister" and the other says "I love my uncle." I need to add an S to the uncle one... Because Baby is going to love all of her uncles :)
I grabbed the two bibs and we started to walk over to the cribs. I reminded myself about the coupon and I checked for the millionth time to be sure I had it... And then I realized... I had the coupon, BUT NOT THE GIFT CARDS. Those gift cards were important. They needed to be used for THIS purchase. I told Danny, who just looked at me. He laughed for a second, but he knew I was upset. He wasn't entirely happy, since we'd driven the truck and it eats gas like crazy. He said he wanted to look at the cribs again anyway because he had changed his mind. So, we went over and what he was saying made sense... And we decided on a different crib. A crib I LOVE, and that will look absolutely fabulous with the rug we'd gotten for the nursery. The sign on the crib said "IN STOCK" so we decided to run home and get the gift cards and come back...
So that's what we did.
We showed BACK UP, with coupon AND GIFT CARDS, and ask to buy the crib. The employee flips the sign to "Order now and it will get here in 7-10 days" and I thought that meant we were getting the last one... Woohooo!!!
Except... nope... The sign had just been wrong and he was fixing it. So. We had to order it. Order it? My coupon says no special orders. Would it still work? I discussed it with Danny and he said with the way his day was going, it probably wouldn't work. But oh well, we need the crib. So, okay.
We went to pay for it, and the coupon DID work. SCORE. I pulled out the gift cards... Started taking them off of the little cardboard things... handing them over... And then I realized one of the cards had to be activated. Ugh. Danny asked which one and it was a $25 visa, so he told me to just put it away and he'd pay that difference. Okay. The lady told him the total and he swiped his card and typed in his number. It happened too fast. My brain wasn't functioning at normal capacity. Everything takes me a few seconds longer to process right now. I HEARD the lady tell him the total and I thought to myself "did she not scan the cards right?? That's just not right. That's $100 more than we were planning." And that's when it hits me.... There was another gift card. The $100 visa gift card. I KNEW that one didn't have to be activated. I dug through my purse pocket and sure enough,  I hadn't grabbed it when I grabbed the other ones. But it was already too late. Danny's card had already been charged. There are no refunds on orders. They could have done it, but it would've taken a long time to figure it out, and time wasn't something we had because we'd already wasted so much because of my slow brain... Danny said it was fine, we could just use that gift card on the mattress later. There are things that need to be purchased and that was a Visa so it wasn't necessary that we use it at that store... So. We signed for the order and left... Me feeling like a complete and utter FOOL... And him with the resolve that his day just can't seem to change directions...


So... As the title of this entry states... Prego brain really stinks!!

I will make an entry just of pics from the past few weeks tomorrow (hopefully). But I think this post is long enough for now. I will leave you with a weekly quiz update for this week. And just know that the last couple weeks have been identical to this week ;)

How Far Along:  31 weeks

Total Weight Gain: Zero..

Maternity Clothes: I love my cozy pants and my maxi dresses and skirts and tanks... And I borrowed some maternity clothes from my sister in law :)

Stretch Marks: So far so good!

Sleep: I'm knocking on wood... But sleep is still good! 

Best Moment This Week:  Hmm... Seeing Baby in 3d, with her cooperation!! 

Miss Anything: I miss not worrying constantly about how Baby is doing. But, I don't think that will ever go away. Even once she's born. So. I better get used to it!   

Movement: In the ribs mostly, because she's head down now. Whew she likes the ribs!  

Food Cravings: Ice cream

Anything Making You Queasy or Sick: Cheese :( How awful is that??!!?! 

Gender: A wonderfully amazing baby GIRL... That we have named Ryssa!! Pronounced like Marissa, without the Ma. And spelled the way I fell in love with it. <3 I call her Miss Rys.

Labor Signs: Nope, unless you count Braxton Hicks?

Symptoms: A growing baby bump ;)

Belly Button In or Out:  Depends on where Rys is... If she's near my belly button it's really close to pushing out lol  

Wedding Rings On or Off: On and still loose unless I am hot and swollen 

Happy or Moody Most of the Time: Happy unless you tick me off. Then I stay mad at you for... ever. >>same

Looking Forward To: Maternity pics :)

28 amazing weeks down...

Forgive me, blog followers! For I have SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY sucked at blogging. I think about it every day, I really do! There just haven't seemed to be enough hours in the day.

The wonderful hubby had a job change, which includes an insurance change. In the middle of a pregnancy. Yeah, that's a headache in and of itself. Not to mention the headaches that have been involved from the job change. But I won't go there. I'm probably not allowed to until it all gets straightened out. So, whatever.

Then there has been lots of stuff going on with my family. All is okay, so don't worry! It's just really taken up a lot of time... Time that is just FLYING by!!!

Then there was a slight scare with my beautiful baby in my belly. I say slight because ALL IS WELL. Everything is fine! We just had to have some extra appointments and a sonogram (who would complain about a sonogram? NOT ME!!). I was also put on a med for a week. No big deal. I went to the dr today and she confirmed that everything is just perfect with Baby. My amniotic fluid (which is what the slight scare was about) is perfect, Baby measures right on time (2 and a half pounds at the sonogram which was two weeks ago), and she says if she keeps growing at the same pace, she will weigh about 7 pounds 6 ounces at delivery... Which my know-it-all, I mean, my husband, has been guessing...

I've also had extra appointments because that wonderful gestational diabetes test couldn't be done at my OB. Why? Well because my primary care doc insists it be done through his office. Which would've been just dandy... had I been seen by him any time recently. But since I HAVEN'T, I had to go in for a regular appointment before he would order the labs. That appointment consisted of a basic work up... and about 20 minutes of non-stop talk about Danny and how he's doing. Dr P had a student with him so he explained everything to him. Every. Little. Detail. I was impressed that he remembered so much, honestly! Also, Dr P says I shouldn't eat donuts. "Donuts aren't a good breakfast" he says. Blah blah blah. Donuts are yummy. So until my diabetes test results come back bad (surely they won't lol) then I shall continue to eat donuts. Mmmmm donuts!! I wish I had one right now!

So, yeah... That's where we are. I was planning on putting Baby's name on here.... but for some reason, none of the blogs I follow share their kids/babies' names... Why is that? For fear someone will kidnap them? Steal their identity?? WHY?? I need to know so I can make an informed decision. If it's just a privacy thing then well... Pfftttt..... We don't really have privacy. We've blasted our story all over, proudly. I'm okay with people knowing her name. I announced it on Facebook. So. I guess if you're itching to know, just add me over there. Also if you add me/us on there, and I don't approve you, just send me a quick message telling me you're a blog follower. I'll approve ya then!!

OH and we did the 3d ultrasound!! HA! Remember how well Baby worked with us when we were trying to find out if she was a boy or girl? Yep, you guessed it, she was just as stubborn when we wanted to see her pretty face!! Her arms were UP and crossed in front. REALLY LITTLE MISSY?!?! We tried everything to get her to move, but she would basically just throw out a punch and go back to her pose, or she'd turn around. She is her father's child. Unless she's just being shy and doesn't like to be the center of attention... If that's the case then she's definitely mine! We had all the great grandparents there, too. And the grandmas. And of course Faith was there. Anyway, the place we went to really is awesome and offered to let us reschedule, for free. So we did. We go back in a couple weeks!

I would love to go back and do the weekly updates for all the weeks I've missed, but they'll basically all say the same thing. So I will just start back up with this week!

How Far Along: 28 weeks

Total Weight Gain: Well I technically lost again, according to my appointment this week. As of two weeks ago I was exactly at my pre-pregnancy weight finally. As of today I am one pound down from my prepregnancy weight.

Maternity Clothes: I wear my maternity jeans when it's cold (we're in Kansas, we've had snow... in May... it's bizarre). Otherwise I am LOVING my cozy pants and maxi dresses!!  

Stretch Marks:  So far so good!

Sleep: I can't wait to go to bed tonight. I love sleep! My hips get sore when I lay on one side for too long, and I get up 2+ times to go pee... but otherwise, I LOVE SLEEP!!  

Best Moment This Week:  Finding out that Baby is doing SO GREAT at my appointment today.

Miss Anything: Eh... I can't think of anything at the moment.   

Movement: All the time!!! She is running out of room so body parts are basically poking out of my belly all day long.

Food Cravings: Any and all food, all the time... PLEASE!!

Anything Making You Queasy or Sick: I get random nausea on occasion. But I'm pretty used to it by now!

Gender: A wonderfully amazing baby GIRL

Labor Signs: Nope

Symptoms: A growing baby bump ;)

Belly Button In or Out: In still but probably not for much longer. Also, it hurts. Is that weird? LOL

Wedding Rings On or Off: On and still loose. Up until I start swelling, which, yes, has begun... But it always goes away. For now.

Happy or Moody Most of the Time: Happy unless you tick me off. Then I stay mad at you for... ever. >>same

Looking Forward To: My baby shower!!! I CANNOT WAIT!! I can't believe we are really at this point. There are days that I still can't believe that I'm pregnant. And here we are, about to have my shower!! A year ago I was posting about Mother's Day and what it meant to me at the time.. and this Mother's Day I will be going through all the things from my shower and organizing it all, things FOR OUR BABY GIRL WHO IS IN MY BELLY. I just have no words for how it feels. None.

 

 

That's all for now! I will try my hardest to get back to weekly (or even more often) posts! I promise!!! Thanks for sticking around everyone!!! <3

What makes a mother

This post is going to be a quick one.... But it's a little different. If you're a crier, well, grab your tissues. I don't think anything I say will make you cry, but the poem at the end... yeah... I sat at work bawling yesterday when I read it. Note to self: When Kristy sends you an email with the subject like "You might cry" just don't open it... at least not while at work!

I don't think I need to remind anyone (although I haven't talked about it much on here) that we were originally pregnant with twins. A and B. Thing 1 and Thing 2. Both with heartbeats. Both looked the exact same but were just different sizes. One was big, one was small. But both had heartbeats. I SAW THOSE HEARTBEATS. Both of them.
I told myself going into that sonogram that day that there was probably only one embryo that stuck, based on my numbers... And that I was okay with that if that was the case. It meant the other just wasn't meant to be...

And then my uterus popped up on that screen... And there were two of everything. Two beautiful little... well, blobs.... Two beautiful little LIVES growing right there in front of my eyes, with heartbeats! I could HEAR the doctor saying that the smaller baby probably wouldn't make it. "This one probably won't be viable." Won't be viable? It's viable. It's right there. That baby is alive right now.... That's all I could think...

I prayed and prayed.... I prayed to God, I told Him that I trusted that He was with us and He knew what He was doing. Whatever the outcome... I handed it over to God. And it was the hardest thing to do. I did everything I could to keep my body in the best shape as possible. I didn't make a single decision without thinking about our BABIES. Because there were two. And their well being comes first....

Going into the next sonogram, I wasn't sure what I'd see. But I WANTED my doctor to be wrong. I wanted to prove that a smaller baby didn't mean he or she wouldn't make it. But, alas, that's not how it played out. That wasn't God's plan. I KNOW that God has our best interests in mind. I know how hard this singleton pregnancy has been on me, and if we had to times that by two? Well, there's no telling what kind of shape I'd be in...

I'm ABSOLUTELY ECSTATIC that we have this little one right now, in my belly, and that she's so active and healthy... And that makes it even harder to grieve the loss of Baby B. Since the day we found out that he or she was gone, I felt like I couldn't voice how upset I was to anyone. I was thankful for Baby A, of course. But I also was grieving the loss of her brother or sister. The twin she'd never know. That we'd never know. Not until we get to Heaven anyway....

Finding out our amazingly wonderful daughter was in fact, a daughter, was a wonderful day... And then there was that thought bubble that pops up at random times through out the day "I wonder if Baby B was a boy or girl... I wonder what we'd be doing with the nursery if they had both made it...."

And that's the thing... I think about Baby A constantly. But that doesn't stop me from thinking about Baby B, every day. Every single day. During the day he or she pops up into my mind at random times, but any time I pray, well he or she is a main part of my prayers. That he or she is watching over his sisters. That he or she is happy up there with our loved ones we've lost.... That my Uncle Ray is teaching him or her to be as ornery as he was....


So that's where I am on a daily... And I have a hard time connecting with some people who have had miscarriages because I feel like they have it worse than me. I lost a baby, yes... But at the exact same time, one baby was still growing and thriving. That's not fair to them, is it? To grieve as much as they do? And then there are the people who have experienced multiple losses. My heart absolutely aches for them. I don't know how they get through the days sometimes. Really, I don't.
One thing I think that is obvious though, is that my friends rock. My friends who have gone through so much, too... They never make me feel like my emotions and feelings aren't justified. They've NEVER made me feel like I'm not allowed to grieve, or that my loss is less than theirs. They are supportive of me just as I am of them. I have the best friends a girl could ever ask for, and I thank God for them daily as well!!!



So... Now on to the wonderful poem that touched my heart yesterday. A poem I think anyone who has lost a baby should read (a baby at any age, I might add)...


I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today
I asked “What makes a Mother?”
And I know I heard Him say.

“A Mother has a baby”
This we know is true
“But God can you be a Mother,
When your baby’s not with you?”

“Yes, you can,” He replied
With confidence in His voice
“I give many women babies,
When they leave is not their choice.

Some I send for a lifetime,
And others for the day.
And some I send to feel your womb,
But there’s no need to stay.”

“I just don’t understand this God
I want my baby to be here.”
He took a deep breath and cleared His throat,
And then I saw the tear.

“I wish I could show you,
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child’s smile,
With all the other children and say…

‘We go to Earth to learn our lessons,
Of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh so much,
I got to come straight here.

I feel so lucky to have a Mom,
Who had so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My Mommy set me free.

I miss my Mommy oh so much,
But I visit her every day.
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillow’s where I lay

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear.
Mommy don’t be sad today,
I’m your baby and I’m here.’

“So you see my dear sweet ones,
your children are okay.
Your babies are born here in My home,
And this is where they’ll stay.

They’ll wait for you with Me,
Until your lesson’s through.
And on the day that you come home
they’ll be at the gates for you.

So now you see what makes a Mother,
It’s the feeling in your heart
it’s the love you had so much of
Right from the very start

Though some on earth may not realize,
you are a Mother.
Until their time is done.
They’ll be up here with Me one day
and know that you are the best one!”

22 and 23 week updates!

Okay, prepare for a LONG post. It's a 22 & 23 week post, with a doctor visit thrown in. I had my 22 week post all done and ready to post last week and something happened with blogger and I lost over half of it... Then I was sick, like super duper sick... and then I needed to write a 23 week update, PLUS I had my 23 week appt thrown in there. So. It's all going to be HERE. The 22 week update is at the bottom, since that's the way my posts are normally posted (older at the bottom). And 23 week/dr appt on the top!

23 weeks... Oh good gracious! I am growing by the day... and I'm not the only one noticing. As the weather gets warmer I'm ditching the hoodies. The hoodies which have inadvertently hidden my growing baby bump!! Almost daily I hear "OH MY GOSH YOU'RE SO BIG." I don't mind hearing that right now, because it's quite obviously all baby. I feel huge, my balance is all thrown off, and I can feel that I'm carrying around the extra weight. I can't walk past a mirror without glancing over and feeling SHOCKED AND SURPRISED at this belly. This amazing part of my body that is housing our daughter and keeping her safe and warm and happy. My hips have disappeared. Nothing seems to look the same to me. And I know that once I get even bigger and when the swelling starts (hello hot summer pregnancy) I'm going to hate looking in the mirror... and I'm going to HATE hearing about how big I am. Because believe me, I'll know. I am aware that it comes with the territory. I'm aware that almost every pregnant woman hears it. I am aware I WILL hear it. But if you tell me how big I am when I am 9 months pregnant, prepare to be kicked in the shin. This is your warning ;)
Week 22 to 23 was a rough time. I was perfectly fine one minute, and then could feel my body going downhill. Feeling too warm, stomach uneasiness... Sleep helped... Until I went to work the next day and it happened again. Only I wasn't too warm. I was HOT. I was miserable. I went outside to cool off, It was cold enough for a coat and I was sitting out there rolling up my long sleeves and sweating... And then I got sick. I work with my mom so she tried to help me. Gotta love her, she's never been one to help out any of us kids when it comes to vomit. But she tried. As did my "second mom." I ended up going back inside, finishing up the thing I was working on, and going home.
I called Danny when I got home, and told him I'd gotten sick at work and that I was home. I hadn't felt our sweet baby move at all that day, and I was a little worried about that. I told him I was going to listen in on the home-doppler, and he stayed on the phone with me....
"I don't even know where to start looking for her heartbeat now that she's so big...." I put some gel on my stomach in her usual spot, put the doppler in the gel, and turned it on....
Nothing....
I moved it around a little and heard a few bumps.
"That's you, not her..." Oh... I didn't even realize he could hear that...
I moved it again.... And again....
WHOOMP WHOOMP WHOOMP WHOOMP WHOOMP WHOOMP
"There. There she is." Yep, there is our wonderful girl, she's just been calm because I've been so miserable.
"Yeah, that's definitely her heart beat. It's in the 140s."
"Okay, well, now that I know she's fine, I've got to get back to work. Get some rest, and call me if you need anything."
Hot cold hot cold hot cold. Sweating. Freezing. Sweating. Freezing. Cover up, uncover. Cover up, uncover. I was miserable for days... And then it was Thursday and it was appointment day. I figured it was good timing. I couldn't get control of the fever, and I figured Dr C would have some advice...

Danny ended up taking off work early to take me to my appointment. We arrived about 10 minutes early and were informed that Dr C was out for a delivery but we could wait.. for about 45 minutes. Yikes. We waited though, because I knew I needed to see her or talk to her about the fever at least. So we waited.... and waited....
Eventually we got called back. First step, as usual, is that scale. That awful awful AWFUL scale that I have been fighting my entire pregnancy. Not the same way so many people battle it. I was battling to see the number go up....
Beep beep beep. 115. Wait, what? 115?!?! Is this for real? I GAINED FIVE POUNDS!!!! FINALLY!!!!!
We were taken to a room where I answered the usual questions and had my blood pressure checked... Then we had to wait for Dr C.
"I gained five pounds!!"
"Five??"
"Yep. Five pounds."
"Well, finally. I'm sure the doctor will be happy about that babe." Ahhh I hope so!
We waited for quite a while... in a room that was much too warm. Especially for me poor body that couldn't control a temperature at all...
Finally Dr C came in...
"Hey guys!! How are you doing? Better I hope?"
"Ohhh Dr C. Up until this week, I've been REALLY great. Very few headaches, the nausea isn't nearly as often. It's been GREAT. But this week I guess I caught a bug or something..."
I went on to explain all of my lovely symptoms. She asked if I had a few other symptoms, which I did not. And she wanted to feel around on my belly. She felt around, measured, and then went to listen for the heart beat.
WHOOMP WHOOOMP WHOOMP WHOOMP There was some static which I'm not used to hearing on her doppler, and she listened to Baby Girl for quite a lot longer than usual. WHOOMP WHOOMP WHOOMP. Perfect little heart beat in the 140s, which is normal for her.
"Well, she sounds good. Stay on top of your fever as best you can with Tylenol, and if it doesn't go away SOON, give us a call. Also, if you develop a rash, or a sore throat, call. Now, I need you to watch your temperature closely. If it gets to 102, no matter how you feel, if it gets to 102, you need to be seen IMMEDIATELY." Why if it gets to 102? Why is that the magic number? What does that mean? Where is our thermometer at? Our old thermometer which probably doesn't work right.....
"Okay, well I will see you again in one month. And that's when you'll have your gestational diabetes testing. We'll give you an orange drink when you check in, then I'll see you like I normally do, and then about an hour after you've had the drink then you'll go down for lab work. Easy peasy." Ohhhh that drink. That marvelous drink I've heard so much about. I hope I can manage to drink it without throwing up. Ugh.

We scheduled my next appointment and left... While walking out to the car Danny took charge of the thermometer situation. I guess the same thoughts were running through his mind...
"We should probably stop at the store and get a new thermometer...." Well ooookaaaayyyy.
So we did. We ate dinner and then went to WalMart for a thermometer. And ice cream. Because, you know, a sick girl needs ice cream.


Now for the weekly update!

How Far Along: 23 weeks

Total Weight Gain: FIVE POUNDS!! I'm around my prepregnancy weight now! FINALLY!!!

Maternity Clothes: Deena is hemming my jeans!

Stretch Marks: Still keeping my fingers crossed, so far so good!

Sleep: I love sleep. Especially when I'm not up all night because a little girl is playing hop scotch on my bladder....  

Best Moment This Week:  My fever finally going away! And finding out I finally gained some weight!

Miss Anything: Ummm, I'm okay.  

Movement: All the time!!! This is a busy little girl in here!

Food Cravings: Ice cream sandwiches

Anything Making You Queasy or Sick: Just depends on the day...

Gender: A wonderfully amazing baby GIRL

Labor Signs: Nope

Symptoms: A growing baby bump ;)

Belly Button In or Out: In

Wedding Rings On or Off: On

Happy or Moody Most of the Time: Happy unless you tick me off. Then I stay mad at you for... ever. >>same

Looking Forward To: The 3d ultrasound still! April 27th can't come fast enough!!!!

...............................................................................................................................................

Whoa... we are officially 22 weeks into this pregnancy. 18 more to go. And only two more weeks until "V-Day." No, I haven't lost my mind, I'm not talking about Valentine's Day. I'm talking about Viability Day. If you've been pregnant, you probably know what that means. If not, well, you're not alone. I didn't either for the longest time. I saw references to "V-Day" all over the pregnancy forums. Nobody really explained it though, so off to google I went.

About.com gave me the answer I was looking for. I will just go ahead and quote it:
Strictly speaking, most doctors define the age of viability as being about 24 weeks of gestation. In many hospitals, 24 weeks is the cutoff point for when doctors will use intensive medical intervention to attempt to save the life of a baby born prematurely. A baby born at 24 weeks would generally require a lot of intervention, potentially including mechanical ventilation and other invasive treatments followed by a lengthy stay in a neonatal intensive care unit (NICU).In the hands of experienced specialists, though, babies born slightly earlier may have a chance at survival. Babies born at 23 weeks may survive with these specialists in a state-of-the-art NICU, but the odds of survival are much lower. The earliest baby to have ever survived premature birth was born at 21 weeks and 6 days, and this was reported in the news as having been a "miracle."Odds of survival increase as the pregnancy progresses, and even an extra week in the womb can make a difference. In general, premature babies born closer to 37 weeks will be much better off than those born before 28 weeks.


There you have it. Yes there are babies born before 24 weeks that have survived. But it's not common. So, that 24 week marker is really a big deal. Unfortunately, not all babies make it even AFTER that 24 weeks. So, to me, 24 weeks is just another little milestone. I'm not going to hit 24 weeks and assume all will be well or that Baby is somehow guaranteed to make it. At this point, I know too much. And it's not just by doing research (I really haven't done much). It's from experiences of friends and family members. It's seeing that hurt that a mom experiences when she loses her baby. It's never "safe." Nothing ever really is, is it? Ugh...

So... yeah... 22 weeks! That's where we are. And we are a month out from our 3D sonogram!! April 27th can't come fast enough! We will get to see our little girl again! And Faith will get to see her on the big screen while she's moving and kicking and squirming! I can't wait!! We booked the appointment a while ago. You have to book in advance, especially for a Saturday appointment. We only have Faith every other Saturday. And they recommend doing the 3d scan during specific weeks in order to get the best view... We have Faith's birthday party already planned, my two baby showers planned... That left us with, LITERALLY, one day. One option. I called immediately once I realized that, and they had an opening for that day!! I snatched it up, of course! April 27th :) Let the countdown begin!!!
Now on to the weekly update.....

How Far Along: 22 weeks

Total Weight Gain: I stepped on a scale recently, but I was wearing heavy boots so I'm not sure that number is reliable.... Still blank here

Maternity Clothes: Deena is hemming my jeans!

Stretch Marks:  Still keeping my fingers crossed, so far so good!

Sleep: I love sleep. I've been sick, and the fever has been waking me up. But other than that, it's great!  

Best Moment This Week:  Telling Faith about the 3d sonogram :)

Miss Anything: A normal sized bladder that isn't used as a trampoline!

Movement: All the time!!!

Food Cravings: Anything, basically 

Anything Making You Queasy or Sick: Just depends on the day...

Gender: A wonderfully amazing baby GIRL

Labor Signs: Nope

Symptoms: A growing baby bump ;)

Belly Button In or Out: In

Wedding Rings On or Off: On... And Deena made me a maternity necklace to hold them when the swelling gets bad...

Happy or Moody Most of the Time: Happy unless you tick me off. Then I stay mad at you for... ever.

Looking Forward To: The 3d sonogram!!!